Lonesome Dreams
by Lovelily Lion
Summary: After some eye opening events, Makoto, in need of a new start, transfers schools to Samezuka. He also is transferred right in to room with Sousuke. There is a chance, that this may be the worst decision Rin has ever made. But as the turbulent year passes something new starts to bloom between the two roommates.
1. Chapter 1

Yo.

Title: ...details, details!

Pairing: Sousuke/Makoto, side pairing of Rin/Haru

Rating: M. Sousuke swears a lot. Oh and sex. Bondage, toys, BDSM stuff. Not too hardcore, but ha know just a bit of spice.

Warning: there's some trigger warning crap that goes on. Makoto isn't a very happy person for a reason and there's some dub con that ensues.

Summery: shit goes down and Makoto, in need of a new start, transfers schools to Samezuka. He also is transferred right in to room with Sousuke. They end up having angry sex.

Image: mine. I'm an artist and yes I did that as a bit of fun and then it became this. Just be cool and don't use it with out asking.

* * *

Sousuke felt the impact as he slammed the door behind him. He could barely breath, his head in a whirl and sight turning red. After all this fucking time! He'd come back and for that idiot, that wouldn't even give him the time of day!

No, that wasn't true. Rin was still giving him time, in fact he was talking to him more now than ever.

It was just that-just that-he felt the his nails digging into his palms again Before he realized what he was doing and relaxed his fists. When he'd walked into Rin's room, he hadn't expected to be confronted with him again, staring at him from Rin's laptop, that bastard's bright blue eyes just blinked at Sousuke as Rin basically told Sousuke he was busy.

"Yeah clearly..." Sousuke mumbled to himself as he sank down to sit on the bottom bunk, his hands rubbing at his forehead like he was trying to scrub the memory away altogether.

"Uh..."

Sousuke's head shot up.

Standing in front of a suitcase, staring at Sousuke was a tall boy with fair brown hair. His bright green eyes were focused on Sousuke and it was obvious by the expression on his face he clearly hadn't expected Sousuke.

"Sorry! Sorry!" The tall boy quickly stammered out and he put his hands up, though wether to bargain for peace or to ward off Sousuke's wrath was still up for debate. "I didn't mean to- what I mean is I was just transferred here and-uhm," he gave a nervous laugh before a slight bow. "It seems I'm your new roommate."

* * *

This time some little twink dolphin boy wasn't going to deter Sousuke from having a nice chat with Rin.

"Haiyu!" Rin let out as Sousuke came through the door, not bothering to knock this time around.

Rin didn't get a chance to say anything more as Sousuke flipped the laptop closed and replaced it with his own self. Folding his arms over his chest he scowled down at Rin, using his height and the fact he was the one standing to his leering advantage.

Apparently Rin already had a fairly good idea what the intrusion was about since he gave a long sigh before saying, "Makoto is a great guy."

"Yeah?" Sousuke said, cocking his head to the side in a clearly sarcastic way.

Rin tried again. "He's an old friend. I know him from middle school, trust me he'll be a great roommate."

Sousuke narrowed his eyes. Before this little mix up he had thought that Rin was going to room with him. Or at least... Maybe the nonverbal agreement hadn't really been as clear...

"Look I'm sorry, Sousuke!" Rin finally broke into something Sousuke could understand.

"I just-" Rin paused, the doubt seeped into his expression as he bit his lip before continuing. "It's just that since he's a captain it made more sense-"

Sousuke's face must have spoken volumes all on its own. His jaw dropped open and eyes wide. Rin tried again, unsure again.

"You're the best athlete we have and trust me, Makoto is suited for captain, I've seen it-Sousuke!"

Not sure how much more of the utter stupidity Sousuje could take, and that was before he'd even gotten to the captain part, Sousuke had already started charging the door.

"You're captain, idiot!" He growled over his shoulder, still headed straight for the door.

Rin flung out of his seat, leaping to stop Sousukes course. "Sousuke! Come on hear me out!"

Rin was strong, Sousuke knew that, but he wasn't all that big. So one rough hand on Rins shoulder was all he needed to send him fumbling back to the desk as Sousuke was now free to swing the dorm room door open.

"We'll talk about this in a second after I go get your captainhood back." Sousuke called as he strode out of the room and right into-well, speak of the devil. Maybe not literally. That gooey-eyed water humper was worse.

"Ehh..." The boy- what was his name, something really girly if Sousuke remembered right-Makoto! "Sorry sorry!" The boy put up his hands again in appeasement this time.

Sousuke huffed, did this guy surrender every time someone walked into the room? That was going to give Sousuke a head ache fast.

No matter, there were other things to worry about, at the moment. "Oi!" Sousuke focused his eyes on Makoto. "Do you really intend to steal Rin's place as Captain?"

"Huh?" Those green eyes widened as Makoto took a step back. "What?" He threw his hands up yet again, damn this kid was getting annoying and predictable. "No no! I would never!"

That's when the thud on the back of Sousuke's head came.

"If you had let me continue!" Rin announced as he joined them. "I didn't give Makoto the captain position."

"Well that's how you made it sound!" Sousuke grumbled as he rubbed the back of his head where Rin had hit him.

Rin just rolled his eyes. "You over react too much!"

Well if Rin wasn't stupid so much, Sousuke wouldn't have cause most of the time. He looked away indignantly instead of answer Rin though.

Clearly his throat, Makoto made his presence known again. "Rin, I'm not sure-"

"Don't worry about it!" Rin cut in. "Sousuke thinks rooming with you will be fun."

No, he didn't. Sousuke conveyed his feelings on the matter with the dark glare he fixed on Rin. Where was this idiot even coming from with this? If they were switching rooms, why weren't they switching to room together? That's what he thought was going to happen!

This didn't seem to be lost on Makoto either as those green eyes still rested on Sousuke before shifting to Rin.

"I'm not so sure..." Makoto started. Sousuke held back to urge to roll his eyes again. Did this guy really have absolutely no back bone? Then again it wasn't like Sousuke was saying what he really wanted to either. But there was reasons for that, very legitimate reasons for that.

"It's settled." Rin growled this time. "Besides Sousuke could use a good example in how to be giant yet still approachable!" He looked over, hooking Sousukes gaze as he continued. "I'm sure the two of you will get along just swimmingly."

Was the bastard really trying to be puny at a moment like this?

"Rin,"

Sousuke looked up as Makoto started again, surprised to see those green eyes focused on him.

"I can room with someone else," Makoto stopped, those eyes still focused on Sousuke. "I think Sousuke would prefer-"

Oh no that little prick didn't! "Fine, fine!" Sousuke interrupted as quickly as he could manage. If he was obvious enough that the new comer could see what he really wanted, then Susana was pretty positive that Rin already knew. No need to smear salt into the wound by voicing it out loud,

That didn't stop the glare he sent Rin though for good measure. "Come on, roomie," he hissed in a sarcastic tone as he passed Makoto, shoving his hands into his pockets and heading back to his room.

"I'm sorry," Sousuke heard the droopy eyed boy say to Rin before his muffled foot step followed suit.

* * *

Sousuke wasted no time in staking out his territory, falling on to the bottom bunk, hands behind his head as he made himself comfortable.

"The bottom bed's mine." He growled, just to make it extra clear.

"Alright," the quiet boy said. He stood in the doorway, shoulders a bit slumped and eyes down at the floor.

For supposedly being a caption, he sure acted more like a whipped dog. There was an awkward long moment where neither of them moved before Makoto took a step in and bent to his suit case.

Sousukes stuff was already all set up, he'd claimed his desk and had been waiting for Rin so they could decide on the bed when this shindig had all gone down. He shifted just enough so that he could watch Makoto start to remove his things.

It didn't look like he had all that awfully much. A couple piles of cloths he tucking into the two unclaimed drawers of the dresser and a few books he neatly lined up on the bookcase. The picture frame that came out next was a bit of a shock, two bright eyed kids, one boy, one girl, flashing big smiles and one of them holding up their two fingers in a V. Makoto paused with the photo for a moment before carefully setting it on the top of his desk. He removed a laptop from his bag centering it on the desk, before standing.

He held a swim suit that he shoved into a white and blue duffel bag, depositing it next to the desk before putting away the small bag of toiletries in the adjacent bathroom. When he returned he tidied up the desk one last time, stashing any odds and ends left in the desk.

"Uh," he looked unsure of what to do with the empty suitcase.

"Stash it under the bed." Sousuke grumbled, "Mine is under there as well."

There was a breath of relief before he murmured a quiet, "thanks."

The whole process of unpacking at most probably took fifteen minutes. Sousuke raised his brow. He was pretty sure the kid was from around here, not like he couldn't have brought a whole lot more crap if he chose. The essentials for life looked to be about the only things this kid carried.

"What do you swim?" Sousuke asked as Makoto straightened from pushing the suitcase all the way back to the wall. Sousuke eyed his form, trying to think what exactly it was Rin thought was so damn spiffy about the boy.

"Backstroke," Makoto answered, "and a bit of freestyle."

Sousuke hummed in acknowledgement. "Freestyle seems to be popular here."

Makoto shrugged.

There just seemed to be something, something Sousuke was not quite connecting. He glanced back at the swim bag next to the desk. He sat up as he did, his feet touching the floor. Rin had said he was a good friend... From middle school...

His eyes narrowed and shifted a darker shade as he looked up at Makoto.

The boy looked confused at the reaction but didn't move.

Sousuke stood, pocketing his hands as he stepped to the swim bag. He shifted it with his foot, just enough to read the school name printed on the side, Iwatobi. Right, same as that brat.

When Sousuke turned his head towards Makoto, the boy tipped his head, probably not sure of the problem. Well Sousuke was going to have to clear that up in a hurry. His hand shot out before Makoto could take another step back and he latched onto Makoto's shirt.

There was a stumble of feet, but in a second Sousuke had Makoto slammed into the wall. The boy looked scared, but his hands didn't even come up to stop Sousuke, only gripped his wrist it seemed to maintain a bit of balance more than anything. What a pathetic little twit! Any man worth his salt should have at least thrown a punch Sousuke's way by now.

No matter, that could be an issue for another day. "You," Sousuke hissed. "You're part of the reason Rin is caught up in this mess." His voice was low. For emphasis he slammed Makoto's shoulders back against the wall again. He saw the wince of pain from the boy, fueling his rage even more.

"What are you even doing here, huh?" Sousuke growled and hissed. "Don't you little Iwatobi pansies just love your good natured friendship and kumbaya campfire comradery shit worth swim club?"

Makoto didn't answer just looked away, his face reddening.

That just made Sousuke even madder. He dug his fist in deeper, twisting Makoto's t-shirt almost to the point of ripping. "You're not going to get in Rin's way." He said it closer to Makoto's face this time. "I don't give a fuck what ever it is you think you can accomplish here, but you won't interfere with him."

"Are we clear?" Sousuke snarled, slamming Makotos shoulders back into the wall.

There was a nod of cinnamon colored hair and Sousuke released him. He flung Maktot back against the wall before he made an unimpressed sound with his tongue and strode out of the room. He was gonna need a bit of air before he could manage to sleep in the same room as one them.

It unfortunately didn't escape his notice as he left that Makoto didn't even try to regain his balance. He let his head hang, eyes hidden under thick fringe as he let himself slide down the wall.

The boy was so damned pathetic.

* * *

Makoto had always loved the way the pool water had looked at night. The great refraction of light across the glass ceiling was stunning. Gliding through the water, Makoto smiled, before taking a deep breath he plunged under the waters surface, rebounding off the tiled wall and spearing through the current. He breached the water with a gasp for air as his arm pivoted up and back, propelling him through the water.

When he reached the other side of the pool, instead of flipping, his hand touched the pool wall and he let his feet sink to the floor.

"Need a hand?"

Makoto looked up to see Rin standing over him, bent over and offering him a hand up and out of the pool.

For a second, just a flash of a moment Makoto considered not taking it. But it didn't last and in its place Makoto forced a bright smile and took the offered hand. "Thank you!"

He heaved up and sat at the edge of the pool, his feet dangling in the water still. Rin dropped a towel over his shoulder.

Not sure if he could manage a smile this time, he just looked down as he took the towel, rubbing at his hair. "Thanks," He murmured again.

It was quiet for the next several seconds. Makoto was still unsure what he might give away if he looked up, so his eyes just wandered back to the water, toweling off his hair in a slow methodical process.

Rin shifted on in feet, the sound stark in the empty indoor pool area.

"Makoto," Rin said. It would have been a quiet tone of voice, if they weren't the only two in the cave like building. "I just wanted to say-" he stopped, clearly mulling it over in his head. "Thank you."

The toweling of Makotos hair became a bit more borderline excessive. His eyes glued to the smooth surface of the water.

"I mean for taking the room with Sousuke." Rin was starting to mumble a bit more, his hands sinking deep into his swim club jacket pockets. "I don't know what it is, he just really doesn't like Haru and I-anyway, thanks. It was really great of you."

It took a moment, but it was short, and Makoto flipped the towel over his head and beamed up at Rin, giving him a supplementary thumbs up. "Sure! It wasn't any big deal!" He chuckled before his went on. "What are friends for after all?" He was ashamed of it but he heard as his voice cracked at the end.

It was quiet again. Rin had heard it too, the smallest slip in Makoto's strength.

He turned away, the sound of his foot falls across the tile resonating in the room.

It was at the door that he stopped again. "I am sorry, Makoto." He said looking back. "I never-you are the very last person that deserves everything that's happened." There was a pause again, Rin sighed. "You really are a good friend, Makoto." Rin said, quiet for real this time, just a whisper.

Makoto managed to nod, not sure what else he could get away with.

It wasn't until Rin was long gone that Makoto could look up from his hands.

Now was when he couldn't get himself to look at the water.

"Am I?" He murmured to himself.

Slow and sluggish he tugged the towel from his head. When he stood at the edge of the pool his arm swiped across his face, the towel scrubbing away at his cheeks. As if they weren't already chaffed. They'd be a little red when he returned to his room, but then again it wasn't likely that his new roommate would ask or even care.

He took one last moment at the doorway to the locker room, looking back at the water. It gleamed and glowed in the limited light. It was beautiful, so fucking beautiful. And Makoto wasn't sure if he ever wanted to swim in it again.

He didn't feel like a fucking good friend.

* * *

This was supposed to be for fun! Fun and some sex mixed in, not feels! Why can't I just write something for fun every now and then!? Nope, now there's angst involved and who even knows how sad it's gonna get. Just once for fucks sake!

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

Makoto shifted uneasily in his swimsuit. This would be his first practice with Samezuka and already, just in the locker room he was having doubts. Maybe swimming was one of the things he should have given up as well. He folded his cloths, taking extra care, and time to put them back in his bag.

Closing the locker, Makoto saw that his name was already written on a strip of tape, stretched under the locker number. He sighed. Rin and he had never been the best of friends, but he was doing his best to make Makoto feel welcome. He hadn't even required Makoto to try out, saying he knew Makoto's skill level and it was all that mattered.

Finally seceding to the fact if he wasted any more time in the locker room he would probably miss the entire practice, Makoto spun the lock on his locker and trudged out into the indoor pool.

It was still a few minutes too soon it seemed as immediately Makoto realized they were in the midst of introductions. Sousuke smirked, as the advisor announced he was in the top ten for butterfly in the country. He bowed to the other swim members assembled and Makoto tried to blend in.

"Makoto!" Rin unfortunately spotted him and waved Makoto over to where he was standing before the rest of the swim team.

Not sure of a polite way to refuse, Makoto trudged up to the front.

Not letting a second of doubt seep in, Rin clamped Makoto on the shoulder and introduced him. "This is Tachibana Makoto, also joining the swim team for his last year."

The advisor smiled at him, as Makoto quickly reddened, and shifting his gaze Makoto reddened even more as Sousuke glowered at him. "Nice to meet you all," Makoto said in a quiet voice and bowed.

The sentiment was returned and Makoto breathed a sigh of relief as the team dispersed. Of course though Sousuke stayed, his glare pointed at Makoto. Unsure of how to avoid another confrontation Makoto looked to Rin.

It was an unsuccessful aversion as in the next moment, Sousuke ran his shoulder into Makoto on his way past, making Makoto stumble.

"Yo, watch where you're walking, man!" Rin hollered at him. It was said good natured enough, not much teeth to the scold.

Sousuke turned and smiled a bright, cheerful smile as he chuckled, "my bad Tachibana! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

Stifling the sigh on Makoto's lips, he managed to pull on a smile as well. "It's alright, I should have moved."

Rin rolled his eyes at the exchange as he stepped past Makoto to start getting his job done.

Right, well that was a wonderful start to things.

Makoto pulled his goggles and swim cap on. Maybe if he pushed himself hard enough, he could forget about everything for a while. At least not being a captain anymore would afford him that much.

And in the end, hadn't that been what all of this was for? So that just maybe for once Makoto could focus on what he wanted, what his future or present could be?

Setting himself up on the starting platform, he held for just a second watching the large timer clock on the wall. The red hand hit twelve and Makoto pushed off, arching up before diving under the surface. He closed his eyes, trying his best to think about nothing but pushing through the water.

Put line here

"A what?" Sousuke asked as he piled his food on to his tray, following Rin through the cafeteria.

"They're calling it, Splashu Fes." Rin said. "It's to get some excitement back to Iwatobi SC. They need more members."

"Splashu Fes?" Right... Was that even a thing?

Rin chuckled and shrugged, "our old coach wasn't always the brightest crayon in the crayon box." He led the way through the rows of tables before setting his tray down.

Sousuke wasn't too pleased about the company already occupying the table, but beggars couldn't be choosers. Or at least he couldn't force Rin to be a bit more choosy, nonetheless.

"You've really improved over the winter, Mako!" Rin touted.

The boy looked scared again, like always as his gaze shifted from Rin to Sousuke. Sousuke raised his brow at the scaredy cat before setting his tray down directly across from him.

Those green eyes focused on Sousuke for another second before he looked back to Rin and answered him. "Thanks. I've tried to work really hard since last year."

There was a look exchanged between the two of them, that Saosuke didn't understand (and no it didn't bother him, not at all, not even a little!).

"Well it's paid off, I was clocking you during practice and you're a lot faster than last year." Rin went on.

Right, well as fun as boosting up scaredy cats esteem was... "So are ya gonna do it, ya think?" Sousuke asked Rin. "The relay for that Swim Fest or what ever?"

Picking up his food and starting to eat, Rin looked a bit frustrated. "Yeah, probably. Haru asked me so, I don't really have an option. The thing is who else do I ask? It's not an official thing so I can't ask the team."

Eyeing how Makoto started to play with his food more than eat it, Sousuke was distracted by the way the other guy could manage to diminish his presence despite his larger size.

Sousuke looked to Rin and quirked a smile. "I'll do it."

The look of relief and joy that broke out on Rins face was enough to make Sousuke want to reach across the table and slam their lips together. He smiled at the idea. Wouldn't that be a wonderful turn of events?

"On one condition," Sousuke made sure though to tack on.

Looking up, Rin hummed in inquiry.

"Let me swim for the freestyle leg." He wasn't letting the chance to pound that little dolphin boy into oblivion pass by.

"Alright, fine with me," he looked a bit taken back. "But don't you like butterfly more?"

Sousuke smiled as he answered. "I just feel like a change." Glancing over an idea hit Sousuke too good to pass up, "and Makoto can swim backstroke."

Both red and green startled eyes shot up to look at Sousuke. There was definitely something there between them... And it still absolutely didn't bother Sousuke!

But seeing Makoto swim in a relay, even an unofficial one would help Sousuke gage how much he'd need to keep him away from Rin in the future. Yeah, he seemed to be an alright swimmer in the pool that morning, but a real race would be the true tell.

"I don't think..." Rin started, glancing at Makoto for a moment. Trying to gage a reaction maybe? Was the scaredy cat not very good at relays maybe?

It took a moment of Makaoto looking a bit taken back, then mulling it over, before he answered. He pulled on a smile as he looked at Rin. "I could do it." He chuckled. "I've always really enjoyed relays and you need someone." If possible the smile on his face got a bit more polite, and brighter than ever. "I'd love to help out with the relay for Iwatobi."

Rin eyed him for a moment, raising his eyebrow, looking for a confirmation as he did. "Makoto you don't have to..." He said.

"It's alright." It was said a bit too quick and forced out for Sousuke's taste. But almost immediately a bright smile was slipping back on. "I want to. It's for a friend after all."

Rin didn't look convinced, and even-sympathetic? Was that sympathy leaking in as his eyes softened? Rin nodded. "Alright. Thank you, Makoto."

It was less than a minute later, Makoto was sliding his tray off the table, having eaten not all that much in Sousukes opinion. "Just let me know and I'll be sure to be there tomorrow." Makoto said brightly as he trudged off to dispense his tray.

Sousuke noticed he had his swim bag with him again. Practice was over so he wasn't sure why... Man, that guy as a bit weird.

* * *

"Oi! Oi!" Sousuke touted.

The scaredy cat was moving awfully slow. Sousuke turned, looking at the gaudy exterior of the Iwatobi SC. The other two were already at the doors, Rin leading the way inside.

Sousuke had no intention of letting his own Iwatobi brat get the slip on him. This whole thing with their little swim club shouldn't be weighing Rin down as much as it was, Sousuke had just got him focused again on a future.

Makoto looked like he was taking a slow breath as he tied his shoe, quite conspicuously too. He straightened as he commented to Sousuke, "you didn't need to wait for me, Yamazaki-kun."

"Someone has to make sure your dumb ass doesn't get lost in the last ten steps inside." Sousuke complained as he led their way inside.

The doors slid open and Sousuke strode in to find everyone in the lobby.

He smiled as Gou bounded towards him, he always had a soft spot for Rin's adorable younger sister.

"Sousuke-kun," she exclaimed.

Sousuke smiled, but he was paying less attention to her and more attention to-

Straight ahead of him Rin stood a bit too close to Nanase, who was looking straight back to-now that was interesting. Makoto shifted, half hiding behind Sousuke. It wasn't enough cover though as it was clear Nanase had spotted Makoto, his nervous mannerism and all.

"Mako," the boy said, sounding distant and a bit wistful.

Discovered, Makoto offered another one of his annoying, big smiles as he gave a weak wave. "Hey,"

The one with glasses perked up, and the-was that kid really in high school?-smaller one broke out in a huge smile.

"Mako-chan! You didn't tell us you were coming!"

"Uh," Makoto said, finally stepping out from behind Sousuke. "It was a bit unexpected."

Okay, now Sousuke would admit it was annoying him! The entire room went so God-damn deathly still it was a kin to a walk through a morgue!

Haru was the first to break the silence, "how are you doing?" He asked like he was eager, and yet like he didn't really know if he should.

That bright smile was already back in place on Makoto's face though as he answered. "I'm doing well. Samezuka has treated me very well."

"That's really great." The one with the glasses commented. It was a bit late on the uptake though.

Sousuke scanned the faces of everyone, all looking to Makoto and all of them were that same look, sympathy and creased, concerned brows. Sousuke would have to get to the bottom of this somehow.

"We're gonna go get dressed," Rin interrupted the stone cold silence this time. He smiled at Nanase as he spoke. "We will catch up with you guys later." And with that started to lead the way back to the locker rooms.

It was halted for Makoto though as the second he passed Nanase, the dolphin boy reached out, snagging Makoto's arm.

"I want to talk later." Nanase tried to say in a low voice, but Sousuke had slowed his pace, just enough to remain in ear shot.

"Haru," Makoto said not looking up to make eye contact. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

Haruka looked past Makoto, seeing Sousuke watching the exchange and his eyes narrowed before turning back to Makoto. "Just for a few minutes, after ward."

Maktos looked like his resolve might be weakening, but he didn't look like he all that much wanted to talk to Nanase.

"Tachibana," Sousuke growled.

The scaredy cat looked relieved as he sent Sousuke a look and gave a hushed retreat. "I have to go."

Sousuke waited until Makoto was ahead of him, looking back at Nanase for one last second before following.

It wasn't until they were almost to the locker rooms that Makoto spoke to Sousuke. "Thank you."

Sousuke looked at him, before giving an impatient sound with his mouth. "The last thing Rin needs is what ever the hell scandal you Iwatobi guppy fish got going on here." He sent Makoto a glare. "How about you try keeping the drama to a minimum, huh diva diamond?"

Makoto nodded as he averted his eyes and hurried into the locker room.

* * *

Rin stopped Makoto before they could leave the locker room. Makoto sighed. He wasn't sure if he could tell his friends or not, but all their concern was making it worse.

Just-just treat him like none of it had ever happened. Makoto was trying not to remember anyway.

"You don't have to do this." Rin said, his eyes checking the room one last time to make sure no one was in there with them.

Plastering another smile on Makoto tried to brush it off. "I'm fine, Rin. Really!" He looked to the pool just through the doorway. "I love relays, I'll be just fine."

With that he shifted out from Rin's grip on his shoulder and quickly went through the doorway into the pool room. Funny how Sousuke was the one person who hated Makoto quite clearly the most, and yet it was the one person Makoto honestly felt an ounce of comfortable around anymore.

At least his hatred was well founded. Makoto may not always know what to expect, but he didn't have to deal with sad looks and constant questions on if he was alright.

He'd be much better off if everyone would just stop reminding him all the time.

* * *

Makoto felt his skin cool the moment he stepped into the water. Maybe this relay was a good idea after all. He breathed slowly as he pulled himself up on the starting bar. His eyes closed, he listened for the buzzer to start and-

There was always that first beautiful moment he leapt away from the wall, flying through the air before he shot under the water, his legs propelling him through the waves. As he surfaced, he gulped for breath and started his stroke.

It seems Iwatobi was doing better without their former captain than expected, next to him, his opponent in the backstroke was a new comer to the club, someone Makoto had never met before. And he was not all that bad of a swimmer. But unfortunately he didn't seem to have the same investment in skill as Makoto, and was quickly lagging behind.

Maktos rebounded off the opposite wall and speared through the water. He'd forgotten the rush of a real race. It was all encompassing, filling his senses and kicking everything else out of his mind.

As his hand slammed the wall at the a start point, it was over all too soon. Nitori jumped into the air above him and Makoto stood, not quite realizing his leg was over. He blinked before reaching for the side of the pool and climbing out. Rin was mounting the platform next to him in preparation and offered Makoto a high five on the way there.

"Nice," he said, flashing his preditorial smile.

Makoto removed his cap, standing next to Sousuke as he smiled at Nitori on his way back. The advance Makoto had won them was unfortunately not paying off as Nitori hit the start platform a few seconds after Nagisa and Rin bounded off into the water. It didn't surprise Makoto, Nagisa had always been competitive with Nitori.

Noticing the look from Sousuke next to him, Makoto looked up. Sousuke made a dismissing sound before stepping up on the platform himself, hunching down to be ready for Rin's exchange.

Rin hit the side of the pool just half a second after Rei, having almost entirely caught up and Sousuke flung from the platform.

Makoto realized as he watched that though he'd seen Sousuke in practice he'd never really watched him. His long body arched in the air, his broad massive shoulders reaching for the water. It was like watching-well almost like watching Haru. It was absolutely flawless in the way Sousuke dipped into the water, accepting it, instead of crashing into it. Makoto smiled. It was good to know there was another fish on their team.

Sousuke could clearly keep pace with Haru speed but that half a second meant a lot and in the end-Haruka hit the end of the pool first, marking Iwatobi's win.

Makoto stepped forward ready to offer Haru a hand when-Rin was already there, pulling Haru into a hug the second the boy was on land. They smiled so happily at each other, and Rin pressed a small kiss to Haru's neck.

Right. Makoto chided himself. That wasn't his place anymore.

He looked over surprised though as next to him, Sousuke was watching as well, his swimming cap fisted in his hand, his jaw muscles clenched as he looked at the small display. His gaze shifted and he caught Makoto looking. He didn't smile only turned away, striding towards Rin.

How Sousuke managed to flip his expressions so quickly Makoto wanted to know. Because in an instant Sousuke was smiling and offered Rin a fist bump.

"Great swim!" Rin cheered, his arm still around Haru's neck.

It was all crushing him again, Makoto realized. He looked up at the empty overlook of the pool and back down to Rin and Haru embraced and so-happy. Makoto felt his chest tighten. He'd held it all together, for so fucking long it seemed.

Turning away he quickly made his way to the locker room. He'd had enough for the day. A part of him so badly wanted back into the water. To sink under the current and let it take him away, would have been the best feeling in the entire world to Makoto then.

He wasn't sure why he had ever agreed to this. What in the world made him think that Iwatobi was full of anything but ghosts?

* * *

It was dark by the time Makoto had pulled himself out of the pool and dried off. He sat in the locker room. He'd forgotten. A winter spent ninety percent in the water had numbed and lulled the pain of it all away. Now clutching at his chest, it had taken just an hour or so and it was all back, making him feel hollow and bleeding. He ducked his head, gasping for breath.

If he swam anymore that night he'd hurt something, but if he didn't find something to distract him soon he'd break into a million pieces again.

"Oi!"

Makoto looked up, his eyes clouded with tears. He knew that voice. He batted the towel over his face, rubbing any evidence away.

Sousuke took a step into the locker room and Makoto watched him carefully. His stance was ridged, his eyes narrow and bleak. At his sides his hands were fisted.

"Where did you run off to so fast?" Sousuke growled at him. It was like watching a panther stalking closer, growing low and quiet, but still making it very clear this wasn't just playing around.

Makoto could still remember a few days ago, the way Sousuke had attacked him the moment he found out Makoto was from Iwatobi.

"I just-" Maktos wasn't sure he could continue. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't stand there any more without making things so terribly awkward and embarrassing?

"You piss me off!" Sousuke thankfully interrupted as he slammed his fist against the lockers. "Grow a fucking backbone for once!"

Makoto wanted to laugh. He had, at the worst of times he had, and it led him here, where everything was so much worse.

The look on his face though mustn't have been what Sousuke wanted because in the next second he had a hold of Makoto's jersey jacket, yanking him up to stand.

"What the hell is going on with all of you down there, huh?" Sousuke snarled.

Makoto's surprised himself, but he wanted Sousuke to hit him. He wanted it so bad. To feel the jarring of his fist dig into him. Maybe the pain would make the hollowness give way, maybe he'd have a reason to look as broken as he felt. He wasn't sure how he managed it but-

With a whirl of senses, Sousuke had him against the lockers. And- Makoto's eyes went wide. He hadn't expected this. Sousuke jammed his lips over Makoto's, growling low as Makoto's hands went up to brace himself on Sousuke's shoulders.

* * *

Tumblr: .com I post my art and things.

Stay radical, don't eat glue, see you next swim time.


	3. Chapter 3

Sousuke wasn't completely sure when the idea had crossed his mind, neither was he sure when he had decided to act on it, but pressing Makoto into the lockers felt like the most relieving thing he'd done in ages.

His grip on that stupid Iwatobi jacket of Makoto's didn't loosen as he broke the kiss. He breathed slow as he tried to formulate a thought. Makoto's hands were on his fore arms, but not pushing him away, they certainly weren't pulling him closer, but they weren't pushing.

Sousuke could hear the audible gulp from Makoto.

God, the guy had to be so confused. Sousuke was pretty confused, so that at least made both of them. When had he...?

Makoto shifted under him, and Sousuke's head shot up. He still wasn't sure when any of it had happened, but starring into those lush green eyes, Sousuke felt the surge of want plowing though him. It wasn't desire so much as-he wanted Makoto caged against him, he wanted to control something for fucking once.

But was that right...? Sousuke had fallen in love with Rin when they were kids, he'd followed Rin everywhere, through everything since then. He had thought he had lost him and then-he'd just gotten him back. And yet in such an unsatisfactory way. Sousuke was no closer to Rin then he had been when Rin had been chilling with kangaroos.

Sousuke wanted someone.

"Yamazaki-?"

Makoto's quiet voice jarred Sousuke, and in an instant his mind was made up.

What ever the reason, what ever the cause, Sousuke wanted Makoto then. It wasn't like they would ever end up as friends anyway with the first impression they'd made on each other. There was no vestige of a relationship to ruin.

Looking up, Sousuke cocked his head, ready to progress full steam ahead.

"Nhhhuhh!" Makoto let out in surprise as Sousuke spun him around, and pushed him up against the lockers again.

It was a good thing not another living soul, would be stupid enough to be down in the locker rooms then, because Makoto banging against the lockers echoed through out the room.

Sousuke slid one of his hands down Makoto's sides, his fingers skimming across the back of the Iwatobi Jacket. He leaned back enough he could read the words. He also slid his hips forward, shoving his groin up against Makoto's ass.

His shoulders heaving, Makoto tipped his head, turning it to the side to try and look at Sousuke. "Yamazaki-" he stalled.

Sousuke snorted. Really what honorific would Makoto give him? How about "sama?" He filled in for Makoto. He smiled.

Makoto tiled his head again, about to speak again and Sousuke reached up, his hand coming over Makoto's mouth in a vice like grip. He used that hand to tip Makoto's head back, enough that as Souske leaned forward they could see each other. While he was at it, he figured he might as well test the tall boys flexibility, with the hand that had formally been at Makoto's side, he pressed the small of his back forward towards the lockers, forcing Makoto into a back bend to maintain the position.

Sousuke leaned in, letting his lips brush against Makoto's ear. "Shut." He said very slowly. "Up."

Makoto's hand came off the lockers, grasping at Sousuke's grip on his face.

"Are you going to say something useless again?" Sousuke asked, forcing Makoto to bend just a touch more, back into Sousuke's embrace.

It took a moment for Makoto to realize Sousuke was waiting for an answer before he managed a small nod.

"Stay quiet." Sousuke growled a warning before releasing Makoto's mouth, pushing his upper body back flush against the lockers.

With both hands free now, Sousuke tugged at the jacket. Makoto noticed, his head turning just slightly, like he was about to look back before he let his fore head rest against the metal lockers. He shifted his arms back, shrugging his shoulders.

How helpful, Sousuke snorted, yanking the jacket off Makoto's shoulders and pulled it off his arms, flinging it on a nearby bench. With the skin of his back finally at Sousuke's disposal, he started to run his hands up and along the smooth planes.

He leaned forward again, his mouth connecting with Makoto's neck. The skin was still a bit damp from Makoto's late night practice, but Sousuke easily licked away any trace of a chlorine taste to sample Makoto's real taste.

Sousuke's hands moved to Makoto's waist, he had rather liked how Makoto had looked with an arched back. Makaoto breath caught as Sousuke, forced him to arch, applying pressure with his hands and fitting his ass a bit more snugly against Sousuke's groin.

Sousuke chuckled, "just like that," he breathed before continuing to suckle at Makoto's skin.

He had no desire to give any room between them, but he had to lean away, just enough to pry the button of his jeans open, shoving his boxer briefs down so his cock could lean out against Makoto's oh so wonderful full ass.

Sousuke was already hard, his dick thick and dark with the rush of blood. He noticed his partner had gone completely still as well, his hands on the lockers sliding in, his body curling as much as he could manage inward.

Sousuke couldn't have that, an arm went around Makoto's waist, pulling him back into Sousuke's chest. He kissed just under Makoto's jaw. His hands worked at prying the tight swimsuit off Makto's hips though, he managed just enough to feel Makoto's dick slide out. His own was pressed to Makto's bare backside as well, leaking from the wonderful feeling of skin.

Sousuke pulled Makoto closer, just enough to peer over his shoulder.

It was cute, very deliciously pink and bobbed against Makoto's stomach, practically calling for Sousuke to touch it.

Why deny it then, Sousuke thought as he slid a hand down Makoto's stomach and grasped it.

"Nahhhhunn," Makoto let out. He was breathing hard.

And as punishment Sousuke pushed him back up against the lockers with a bit more force than necessary. "Whatt'd I say?" He snarled, and thrust his hips forward.

His cock slid so amazing through the cleft of Makoto's ass. He gave his own sigh of sweet sensation.

Sousuke's hand clawed out, bracing the back of Makoto's head and shoving it up against the lockers. The boy tried to stay quiet as he winced. Sousuke looked at him, one green eye in just the right angle they could barely hook eye contact.

Sousuke smiled as he started to thrust his hips forward, not caring that with every forward motion he banged Makoto up against the lockers.

Pulling at the collar of his T-shirt, Sousuke considered letting the button up he wore over it fall to the ground. But then again he liked the idea of rocking against Makoto, fully clothed while the other just had his swimsuit tangled at his knees.

But man was he getting hot, his breath ragged, and it felt damned good. Sousuke was close. He placed a hand to Makoto's back urging him, to point his ass back again.

The little puppy was good and obedient, letting Sousuke thread his cock through those hot, perfect cheeks. Sousuke closed his eyes, concentrating on the way the thrusts felt, his body speeding up.

He barely recognized it when Makoto's hand struck out behind him. He didn't push Sousuke away, just gripped back, fisting his hand in Souske's T-shirt. That was fine with Sousuke if he wanted something to hang on to.

He let his head fall back and just thrust his hips faster. He was so fucking close. Between his precum and sweat between them, his dick was sliding easier, Sousuke thrust deeper, groaning as he felt him self rubbing all the way against Makoto's entrance.

The thought of actually fucking Makoto bloomed in Sousuke's head and it was enough. His eyes widened before his grip in Makoto's hair tightened and in the next split second he squeezed his eyes shut as he saw white and the greatest rush known to mankind plowed through his senses.

"Gahhkkk!" He let out as he came, thick and milky across Makoto's back.

When it was over, he let himself lean forward, burying his face back next to Makoto's long, warm neck. His hand slid against Makoto's waist, tracing against his side. Closing his eyes, he let the buzz of his senses ride it out a minute or two more. He sighed, noticing his softening dick was still pressed against Makoto's sticky back.

After a minutes revelry he straightened, stepping back. Makoto must have taken that as a release because he stepped back as well.

"Not that way," Sousuke scolded, and hooked Makoto's wrist, flipping him back to face Sousuke. He forced his hand back over Makoto's mouth and pushed him back against the lockers.

Looking down, Sousuke admired the cute, long, curved cock, bright red against Makoto's stomach. Sousuke lightly ran his fingers up the underside, smiling at the shiver that shook through Makoto's shoulders as well.

Teasing wasn't what Sousuke wanted at that moment though, so he fisted his hand around the long cock and started to pump. Holding Makoto mute against the lockers, sent another thrill down Sousuke's own spine. It was so hot to watch as Makoto's eyes rolled up, his breathing becoming labored and erratic. His chest heaved, his hands reaching out, grasping at Sousuke's fore arms and clawing at the sleeves. One hand even came up, fisting in Sousuke's collar as he started to move with Sousuke's pumping.

Watching him come, was just as amazing, Makoto's eyes went wide. His legs shaking and arm curling in, drawing Sousuke closer.

Sousuke milked him completely, the white liquid leaking through his fingers and making it an easier roll as he gently tugged and stroked Makoto to empty. When he finally let the withering cock be, Makoto looked close to losing his balance.

Sure enough, as Sousuke released his hand from Makoto's mouth the boy slid down the lockers, his breathing audible. His stomach was flecked with semen, and Sousuke knew the back of him was also dotted with his own white evidence.

Sousuke stepped back, seeing Makoto's locker was still slightly ajar, he opened it, digging out a fresh towel.

In the few seconds he'd stepped away, Makoto had curled up, head resting on his knees, arms held in, hands curled over his head. Sousuke tilted his head. He wasn't sure if the position was recovery or defensive. He huffed, right, well he'd have to get Makoto to open up a little, he unfurled the towel, lightly placing it around Makoto's shoulders before he turned again.

Sousuke fixed his own appearance first, straightening up as well as he could. His shirt was soiled with cum and smelled of sex, but Sousuke doubted they would meet anyone on the way back to their room. He tossed Makoto's jacket into his locker, shutting it and retrieving Makoto's swim bag from the floor.

When he returned to the not so little puppy-eyed boy, Makoto looked up this time.

"Thank you," Makoto said. He looked back down and away.

Sousuke shifted a bit uneasy. "Yeah. It's your towel, so not like I have to take care of it later."

Makoto nodded, before tucking his chin behind his arms folded over his knees. It looks like he had pulled his jammers back up all the way.

"Come on," Sousuke urged, he held out his hand for Makoto to take.

Makoto looked at the offered hand for just a moment before sitting up fully he reached up and took the offering.

* * *

Makoto could still feel the hum of his orgasm, thumping though him. It surprised him that Sousuke had actually stuck around. Not that the fact they'd just had sex also wasn't quite surprising in and of itself.

Though Makoto was the most surprised at himself. It wasn't like he'd even tried to tell Sousuke to back off. The fact that he'd cum into Sousuke's hand was proof enough at that.

Once on his feet, Makoto wasn't sure he wanted to make eye contact. He pulled the towel around him a bit more, glancing to the showers.

"Just shower in the room." Sousuke said. He was watching Makoto, even had Makoto's bag slung over his shoulder, waiting for him.

Makoto reddened but nodded. The dorms weren't far.

Trailing behind, Makoto wasn't quite sure if he even cared about what had happened between them. He didn't feel like he was falling to dust anymore at least. Maybe that was enough to explain what was going on...

It felt like enough to Makoto.

* * *

Sousuke treating Makoto like a human being seemed to be a limited time offer, Makoto mused as by the next morning Sousuke was growling at him at every turn and glaring at him every moment in between.

Tugging at the white collar of his school uniform, Makoto frowned. He tried to shift in his seat, early for class and thankfully snagging a seat next to the windows. He'd gotten used to just about everything else at Samezuka, but that pristine, cut and stiff uniform was still irritating as hell. His eyes softened, thinking about his old uniform. And then there was his old school, not some sprawling monolith of a campus, no dorms just the small building, and that tiny little pool. Makoto smiled.

There was a slap of a notebook down on the desk next to him. Startled Makoto looked up. Sousuke's teal eyes watched him right back, "yo."

"Yamazaki-kun," Makoto said in surprise. They were both upperclassmen, so they had most of their classes together, but like hell had Sousuke ever sat next to him, let alone actually acknowledged him.

"Makoto," Rin said cheerfully, taking the seat behind Sousuke. "Where did you two get to last night?" He whined. "I was left to to fend off Nitori and Momo the whole way home."

Makoto laughed then out of nervousness. "nowhere!" He answered a bit too loudly.

"We snuck into your room,." Sousuke answered a second later. Tipping his head, a devious grin spread. "I wouldn't use your deodorant anytime soon."

"What!"" Rin fumed. "What did you do?"

"You'll just have to figure it out on your own." Sousuke just chuckled, shifting back to the front of the room, and Rin complained loudly behind him.

The teacher arrived then, quieting the students as the day started.

Rin huffed muttering under his breath, "well at least I don't have to worry about you two killing each other anymore..."

Makoto looked over to see that devious smile still on Sousuke's face as he answered under his breath, "when one door closes, another open in its place." At the last his eyes shifted to meet Makoto's and narrowed leaving him with that ever present grin.

* * *

By the time practice had rolled around Sousuke was still acknowledging Makoto existed. Looking across the pool to where Sousuke rolled his shoulder in his hands, Makoto was still wondering about what he had meant. He hadn't made the slightest overture since cumming across Makoto's back.

Sousuke wasn't holding back in the significant looks department though. Rin approached, and Souske's face shifted into the cheery smile of a friend.

Makoto wasn't so sure though, sitting at the edge of the pool, he was supposed to be watching the underclassmen in backstroke, helping where he could. He'd spent the last hour though glancing up at Sousuke every few minutes.

And every few minutes Sousuke had looked back at him. Most of the time he'd give Makoto a second or two before glancing back at whom ever he was talking to. But then there were those times, when no one else was saying attention that Sousuke would look back at him, and his eyes would narrow and a smile would spread, one side quirked up, devious and even worse knowing.

Just like right now, Sousuke surprised Makoto this time with a flash of teeth before he pulled his swim cap on, adjusting his goggles as he stepped up onto the starters platform.

Makoto made a frustrated sound in his throat.

"Makoto-sempai!" Momo called.

Looking up, Makoto realized for the second time he hadn't watched more than the first ten seconds or so of Momo's swim.

He signed. "Sorry, Momo!" He'd been scolding Momo for the past week about concentrating on the swim, and now Makoto was a tad bit embarrassed he couldn't even manage to focus on Momo's swimming. Even so, Makoto looked over again as Sousuke soared off the platform.

Right, Rin might feel better, but Makoto wasn't so sure they should have ever opened this Pandora's box.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Sousuke huffed as he flung the door to their room open, striding in. Makoto looked up from where he was doing his homework at his desk.

Sousuke had started the ritual of jogging with Rin every couple of nights around this time. He'd come in huffing and puffing, followed by a shower and then throw Makoto a new version of the same insults before leaving the room to go study or hang out with Rin. That was the nights he came home. Most of the time Makoto had no clue where Sousuke was at all. Sousuke still stuck with Makoto at school and even a bit when practice started.

But once a free moment rolled around Sousuke jumped at the opportunity and was gone, Especially weekends. Makoto had had the room all to himself every weekend since the year had started. Rin told Makoto that Sousuke didn't live all that far away, and he'd go home most weekends.

Not that Makoto could blame him. If things weren't so-if he could go home to his parents every weekend he would. But now it was just-there was nothing left there but the ashes of everything that could have gone right, but didn't.

Though drawing his attentions was the fact there was still huffing next to Makoto, and had been for a good minute or so. Looking up, Makoto adjusted his reading glasses. "Yamazaki-kun?" He inquired. Maybe the insulting portion of their night would come early this time.

Sousuke looked at him, his face a bit unreadable, though there looked to be irritation, his favorite emotion when it came to Makoto.

Makoto frowned. He'd tried to branch the subject of room changes with Rin once again in the last few days and it hadn't gone as expected. Apparently Sousuke's version of their situation had the soundtrack of, "everything is awesome!" So now Makoto was trying to be as passive and light as he could with Sousuke, hoping maybe if he was kind, Sousuke would take a hint and start returning the sentiment. Or at least leave Makoto alone.

"You're here a lot."

Right.

On the flip side of Sousuke, Makoto did homework every evening. He had been swimming every evening up until he'd been throughly scolded by Sousuke and then Rin and then even Momo had noticed.

They were right, unfortunately. If Makoto pushed too hard he'd end up hurting himself and that would hurt the team. So Makoto did his homework. He still stayed an hour or so later at practice and was considering trying the gym again. Most nights though he just slipped back into the pool after everyone had left and started in on more swimming. It was the only thing that-kept it all at bay.

The problem with the gym was-his mind wandered. About an hour and his limit was up. Thoughts of oceanic blue eyes or small messy hands or just anything and Makoto would start to feel himself cracking from the inside.

Nonetheless less, Makoto already felt like Sousuke held too many secrets between them. So he simply pushed a smile to surface as he looked back down at his homework. "Am I?" He chuckled. "I guess I just don't want to let anyone down. Samezuka is a really great opportunity for me."

Sousuke grunted in response, "right." He was pulling the athletic hoodie off over his head before tugging the running shoes off.

Makoto swallowed audibly as he felt Sousuke's looming shadow over him, a large hand was placed on the desk as Sousuke leaned over him, his face quite close to Makoto's. "Is this the math homework?"

"Yeah," Makoto said trying not to shift in his seat. It had been a good couple of weeks since Sousuke had touched him. He had stopped running into him, tripping him, shoving him, but it had been replaced in a sudden way with the way he watched Makoto all the time, not touching him, just invading his personal space. Maybe this was his new form of torture.

It seemed neither of them were quite sure where they stood after the-incident-in the locker room.

But ever trying to keep things light hearted, Makoto just smiled as he looked at Sousuke. "Have you started it, at all?"

Sousuke peered back at him, not one of his devious smiles, not one of his looks of irritation, not even his usual mask of apathy. He shook his head and backed away. "It's not due till Monday, I'll do it sometime this weekend."

Humming in response, Makoto looked back down at his work.

There was a creak of the bed as Sousuke sat down. "Why did you come here, Tachibana?"

Caught off guard, Makoto straightened. Not many people had really asked him that. Most had just assumed since Makoto liked swimming he was trying to go to a better school for swimming.

Maybe that would be enough for Sousuke too, Makoto hoped. "This school has a really great swim team, I was really honored to be accepted."

There was another creak and rustle as Sousuke leaned back on the bed. "You don't seem like the kind of guy that would leave your old swim team hanging like that. Rin mentioned you were even Captain as a second year."

Makoto wasn't sure what to answer. Makoto had ended up being exactly that kind of guy. In the end, Makoto had left them, no he'd ran from them, as fast and as hard as he could. He hummed though, assuring,"I'm sure they're just fine. They even have two new recruits!" Makoto laughed. "I guess I might have cursed them, we could never manage a new member when I was there."

It was quiet for a second before Sousuke said, not nearly as light hearted as Makoto had hoped for, "I've talked to Rin about those new recruits... Iwatobi lost one of their strongest swimmers. And the new boy they have doing backstroke apparently can't even manage a fraction of your old times." Sousuke snorted. "With your recent times, he might drown in the lane next to you, if he doesn't watch out."

Setting down his pen, Makoto looked over at one of the few things he'd brought with him of Iwatobi. The picture was nothing special, but it was enough, just a selfie the two of them had taken on Makoto's phone. But it meant the world to him, and when that world had crumbled...

"Trust me, Iwatobi is better off with out me,"

There was quiet again. Sousuke shifted, probably sitting up, "how-"

"Oi! Are you ready?" Rin announced his presence as he opened the door. He had his swim bag slung over his shoulder and a predatory smile.

Makoto smiled at him. "Hullo,"

"Hey Makoto!" Rin greeted before he faced Sousuke, "Have you been taking a nap or something? We said we were gonna head straight down to the pool. "

Sousuke stood from his bed, going to the closet to retrieve his own bag. "I just got up here." He dug out some slip-on shoes and fit into them. "I was talking for a second before I came down."

Rin snorted. "I thought you were the one all pumped up for a race."

Sousuke collected a jacket. "Don't be in such a hurry, we both know I'm going to crush you once we're in the water."

"Tsk! Not a chance in hell!" Rin retorted leading the way out the door.

At the door, Sousuke stopped, looking back at Makoto. Makoto flashed a smile before he leaned forward, focusing back on his homework.

It was good Rin had a friend like Sousuke. Friends that good only happened once in a lifetime it seemed.

* * *

"Come jogging with us." Sousuke voice rumbled through Makoto abruptly as he was shadowed by the giant leaning over him.

Sousuke closed the text book in front of Makoto, not all that gently brushing his homework into the front cover and placing his hands in either edge of the desk, watching for Makoto's reaction.

He sat stalk still. It had been a few nights since Sousuke's sudden interest in Makoto's daily habits.

Not sure how to refuse, Makoto shifted uneasily in his chair. "Yamazaki-kun ," he breathed. He tried to order his thoughts. It was harder than expected with Sousuke over him, his breath against Makoto's neck. "Ah," he fidgeted with his pencil. "I don't want to intrude-"

"On what?" Sousuke shot back. "Rin thinks you can do no wrong. My feelings?" He barked a laugh. "I'm the one asking you."

Saying he didn't want to go would be rude. And yet-he didn't want to go.

Makoto had a jogging partner and-there wasn't anything he wouldn't give to have him back. But unless there was a rift in the theory of the space time continuum, Makoto wasn't going to get a second chance.

"I-" he stalled. "Thank you, but-"

"Come on," Sousuke interrupted him. "It won't kill you to do something other than survive."

Makoto frowned again, trying to think of an excuse.

So standing out in the night air, in running shoes, basket ball shorts and his hoodie, Makoto was still working on that excuse. Sousuke waited a step or two away, rubbing his hands together. He watched Makoto, like always.

"Sorry," Rin called as he joined them in the courtyard. "I had to deal with something,"

Sousuke smiled immediately as Rin showed his face, "Yeah, important business I'm sure." he stepped up to Rin, still beaming. "Now that your hair's straightened and your nail are done, can we get to the running part?"

"Never underestimate the power of a good manicure," Rin shot back with out missing a beat, "be sure and remember that when you see me getting farther and farther ahead of you in the water."

"Only in your cute, girly dreams, " Sousuke touted, stretching one foot behind himself, then the other. He nodded to Makoto, "I managed to get him out of the cave."

Makoto reddened.

Chuckling, Rin smiled at Makoto as he passed him, stretching his own legs. "All are welcome aboard, just so long as you keep up."

Makoto gave a forced smile. "I'll try my best."

"I'll drag him along, when he collapses," Sousuke said. "And I'll still manage to beat you," he continued very pointedly at Rin, a challenging smile on his face.

Rin snorted. "Yeah yeah, let's get going, and maybe shut you and your big mouth up for once."

When Makoto had ran with Haru it had always been mostly quiet. Not that Makoto had minded. Haru seemed to prefer a comfortable silence over actual conversations. They had still connected, and Makoto at least had basked in the presence of his best friend, drinking it up as he jogged next to him.

The dynamic of Rin and Sousuke was completely different. At every turn they were challenging each other and pushing each other. They argued over the mundane and joked amongst them. Makoto stayed quiet next to them, mostly listening as he kept pace.

It didn't take long though before what he had feared started to creep in through his bones. Running was too easy. Or at least that was the only conclusion Makoto had come to. When he swam he had to concentrate, he had to focus on the lines and making his turns, he had to maintain a perfect form, check his breathing, all of it while trying to be the fastest.

Then running was-like switching his brain on. He tried to pay attention to Rin next to him. But quickly it became clear this was a ritual between best friends. And why would Makoto ever want to take away from that? He'd felt it himself, and it was amazing.

He smiled over at the two men next to him. Sousuke was really a different person with Rin. He joked and laughed and never stopped smiling-almost like...

Sudden realization hit Makoto so hard he almost came to a full stopped. He did manage to falter a step though and was pitched forward, Rin and Sousuke both looking at him.

Laughing nervously he scratched at the back of his head, "whoops!"

Rin smiled and Sousuke looked at him a moment longer before they continued running. His look turned to a glare as he said, "at least manage to stay on your feet, Tachibana. I wasn't serious about carrying you."

Makoto dipped his head, nodding as he ran along side. It was obvious now that he thought about it. He glanced at Rin. The question was if Rin had figured it out or not, and if he had-Makoto looked to Sousuke.

Frowning, Makoto looked to the ground again.

Just then Rin's phone went off. The three of them skidded to a halt, Makoto a step or two away. This new revaluation wasn't something he was sure what do with. Sousuke had invited him, but it still...

Rin flipped out his phone, looking a bit surprised at the number, "sorry I have to take this," he mumbled to them before lifting the phone to his ear. "Haru?" Rin walked several paces away from Sousuke and Makoto.

Sousuke was looking down, his face unreadable as he leaned his hands on his knees. Makoto opened his mouth wanting to say something. He saw Rin everyday. He heard this everyday. He knew how much it hurt.

"Yamazaki-kun," Makoto started. "I-"

Sousuke looked startled but he looked up at Makoto.

"Haru calm down, " Rin whined several paces away. "It'll be fine I'm sure," he went on, his voice a bit more elevated as he spoke.

Makoto pressed his lips together, not sure what he should do. His eyes were now focused on Rin's back. His own hand twitched to his phone. If Haru was in trouble... Swallowing, Makoto made himself look to Sousuke. Sousuke was looking at him.

This was getting so unbearably awkward.

"Yeah?" Sousuke inquired. He looked frustrated. Makoto couldn't actually blame him.

Shaking his head, Makoto shifted away. "Uh, it's nothing." He looked back at Rin, talking very quickly into his phone. "Never mind."

Makoto almost breathed a sigh of relief when Rin snapped his phone shut and turned to them.

"I have to go."

Sousuke's face twinged for just a second, the glimpse of irritation not lost on Makoto and he was pretty sure not lost on Rin as well.

"Nanase?" He said.

Rin shook his head. "Yes, one of our friends needs help." He looked to Makoto, probably trying to reassure. "It's no big deal. Haru just asked if I would come."

Looking to Sousuke, Makoto figured the one to keep things peaceful and relaxed was probably himself. "That's alright, go." He forced a smile. "If Haru needs you that's way more important than a jog across campus."

Glancing at Sousuke, it was clear he didn't feel the same but as stone cold as his face was when he looked back at Makoto, it shifted in an instant to pleasantly content as he looked to Rin. "Yeah. You should go. It's not like we will get lost on the way back with out you."

Rin smiled. "Sure 'bout that?"

Sousuke scuffed, clearing his throat as he playfully nudged at Rin, "shut up." He turned away, walking to Makoto, "go console your boyfriend."

Rin gave him a thankful smile before sprinting off back towards the dorms. "Thanks. I'll see you guys later!"

Left there with Sousuke, Makoto looked over at him, hands on his hips, he was unsure of what to do.

Teal green eyes glanced at him, before Sousuke turned back to the courtyard, "come on, let's finish one last loop, then head back." He was already jogging again by the time he ended.

"Kay," Maktot breathed and lunged to catch up with him.

It quickly became clear that as much as it hadn't looked to have affected Sousuke, he wasn't happy about it. Makoto had noticed an uptick in pace a few minutes after. He looked to Sousuke but his face was mostly unreadable and he refused to look back. It was eerily quiet between them. And with the look of stone on Sousuke's face, Makoto wasn't going to chance starting up a conversation.

It made a bit of sense, Makoto guessed. They were both quite a bit bigger than Rin so maybe the longer legs would be a good excuse for the quicker pace. Then again as they rounded at the edge of campus Sousuke was going fast. Makoto fell behind for a few seconds, unsure of what Sousuke was thinking, but he quickly gulped down a breath before pushing himself to keep up.

Sousuke was breathing harder, his gaze narrowing as he shifted into a full run then. It was the last stretch, and what should have taken them another half an hour or so was now taking ten minutes tops. Makoto pushed into a run. Something about it all, made him not want to leave Sousuke alone.

Not that it looked like Sousuke even noticed his presence. He was running full steam ahead now, sweat dripping from his jaw line as he careened through the open yard of the dorms. Makoto was keeping up, though barely a few steps behind, he was mostly watching Sousuke. He looked ahead and started to slow realizing the wall to the dorms was a lot closer than expected.

His eyes wide he watched as Sousuke barely slowed in time, still managing to crash into the wall, his hands hitting the surface. The next second those hands were in the form of fists. He lifted his fist and hit them against the wall, the first time it wasn't all that hard, then he pounded again, and Makoto jolted forward as he saw the skin split and blood smear across the side of Sousuke's wrist.

He raised his hands to pound his fist in again, when Makoto intervened, grabbing Sousuke's forearm with both of his hands

"Don't," Makoto breathed, looking into those clear eyes of Sousuke's. "It won't help," Makoto said in a low voice. He would know after all.

Sousuke ripped his arm out of Makoto's grasp, his face twisted, he was looking at Makoto like he had that first time he knew he was from Iwatobi, like Makoto was nothing, like he was scrum.

For half a second, Makoto feared he was going to lunge at him again, but in an instant Souske's face changed and he pushed away from the wall. Letting out a snarl loud enough to scare the dead, Sousuke stumbled out into the sidewalk. His hands fisted up into his hair and he seemed to refuse to look at Makoto.

Signing, Makoto just stood there, watching with a sad expression. To think an hour ago, he was so oblivious to the entire crazy situation, and now he got to watch as Sousuke burned over it all.

It was surprising as in the next moment Sousuke was charging him. Makoto stumbled a step back, but as alway his reflexes were too slow when it came to Sousuke. He was slammed up against the wall.

Makoto grunted, his hands coming up to grab at Sousuke's wrists. Having been pinned to the wall in their room, the west side lockers in the locker room, and now the brick wall outside their dorm, Makoto was fairly confident the brick wall was the most uncomfortable.

As unexpected as it was the first time, Sousuke slammed his mouth on to Makoto's. apparently it wasn't giving him what he wanted though because in an instant he broke it, letting out a feral yell again as he looked down. His hands were still fisted tight in the collar of Makoto's hoodie.

Not sure how to react, or get Sousuke to calm from his reaction, Makoto stayed still for several seconds. Tentatively he moved his hands up Sousuke's arms, grasping at the front of his hoodie.

Makoto breathed, not sure if he should... "I'm sorry." He finally managed, watching the way Sousuke's face was twisted, his mouth open in a gnashing frown. He just looked so-so pained. "I'm so sorry."

It was just a thought, but maybe Makoto could-they'd had sex so it couldn't be that out of the question...

He reached one hand up, reaching to just lightly brush his fingertips against Sousuke's face. They never made it though, Sousuke slipped his arms from the hold, and latched on to Makoto's wrists forcing them back against the wall.

Breathing hard still, Sousuke flung Makoto out from under him then, releasing him to stumble across the open yard.

Regaining his balance, Makoto was cautious in the way he stood fully.

"Come on," Sousuke growled over his shoulder as he started back.

Right. Makoto waited an extra few steps before following.

The halls up to the room were dark. Sousuke jammed his key in, and strode in. He hadn't looked at Makoto once since they'd entered the building.

Makoto was carful as he followed, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could. Sousuke was already removing his shoes, not bothering to turn the light on as he went in. Figuring it was intentional, Makoto passed by the light as well, pulling his hoodie off.

He laid it over the back of his chair at his desk before turning to the dresser.

Sousuke was there, rummaging through one of his drawers. Right, asking him to move would be a bit of a bother, so Makoto worked on removing his shoes. He peeled his socks off as well, tossing them to the cloths hamper and putting his shoes away.

He turned to the bed then-to stumble back a step. Sousuke stood less than a foot from him. He was back to calm, or at least the exterior was, he blinked at Makoto before he took a step forward. There wasn't enough room for Makoto to take another step back.

Sousuke's hand came up, brushing lightly at Makoto's jawline, before tipping his head towards Sousuke.

"Yamazaki-kun..." Makoto trailed off.

His chin was lifted and Sousuke leaned forward, kissing him again. It was different this time, and Makoto froze. His hands were behind him, bracing himself against the closet.

When the small simple kiss ended, Sousuke smiled at Makoto. And for half a second, Makoto thought that he might have actually meant it.

He wasn't learning very quickly though. Souske seized his t-shirt and pitched Makoto to the bed. Landing with a gasp, Makoto was face down on the bottom bunk, and didn't have time to say anything as his head was forced up and back, just as Sousuke fit a knee between Makoto's shoulder blades, keeping him down.

"Yamakzaki-kun-Gahhhh!"

Makoto tried to push up but was shoved back down, Sousuke shifting onto the bed, his hand running up from Makoto's neck to his chin, holding him up as Sousuke pulled a tie through Makoto's open mouth and fastening it tightly behind Makoto's head, gaging him.

"Shhhh," Sousuke nibbled along Makoto's ear. He was sliding down against Makoto's body, fitting himself comfortably over Makoto. "We learned last time you're a little loud." He cooed near Makoto's neck.

The black covers under Makoto were fisted in his hands. He wasn't sure-last time he'd just-he was hurting and Sousuke... Makoto was beet red in a second. What Sousuke had done to him last time had been a welcome solace for the pain. This time- he moved his head as Sousuke withdrew his hand.

Was he okay with this? His hands were free, but Makoto had yet to push Sousuke away. He sighed, adjusting his tongue under the makeshift gag. Looking over his shoulder, he quickly realized he was in way over his head. Would Sousuke even stop if Makoto asked?

Sousuke was seated over Makoto's thighs, he had already tugged his shirt up and off. He didn't look like he had last time. It had been about hurting Makoto last time, forcing him to do as Sousuke asked. So what was it this time? That stoney expression wasn't faltering, but Makoto still remembered the look of anguish on his face as he had slammed his fists against the dorm brick walls.

Sousuke reached down to Makoto, hands digging underneath him, to pull his shirt up and off, tossing it to the floor.

"Forearms behind your back," Sousuke ordered as he picked up the roll of duck tape he had tossed onto to bed.

Breathing still a little shaky, Makoto looked back at him. He dipped his head, trying to think furiously if he really wanted this, if he really was willing to let Sousuke do this. Last time there hadn't been bondage involved. He'd held him down for sure and Makoto hadn't fought it, but if he had wanted to at least he had a chance.

Startling Makoto, Sousuke had leaned down, leaning in close to him.

"Hey," Sousuke said, his face still stoic, hard. "Did I hurt you last time?"

Makoto shifted his eyes away. He'd been rough, but no rougher than Makoto had wanted. Uneasily Makoto shook his head, no.

Sousuke gave a single assured nod. "Exactly. And this time I won't either." He sat back up, one of his hands sliding across Makoto's back. "Now, arms behind your back."

This time, Makoto complied, shifting his arms up and back behind him. Sousuke fit them one over the other before stretching the duck tape and wrapping it from wrist to elbow, it wasn't tight particularly but there wasn't much allowance of movement.

Souske shifted his weight up and off Makoto then, his hands returning to his sides. "Flip over."

With Sousuke keeping him from flailing, Makoto flipped on to his back, his mouth was already a little dry from the gag and he had to remind himself to breathe as Sousuke, still all business, was working at his basketball shorts. He picked the knot, pulling it loose, before he dug his fingers under the waist band, hooking Makoto's boxer briefs as well and started yanking them down.

Makoto looked up to the bed above him as Sousuke pulled the rest of his clothing off. He could feel the heat rushing to his face, his heart beat audible in his ears.

"Bend your leg up," Sousuke said as he adjusted Makoto's right leg up first. Bending at the knee he pushed it up, so that his calf was against the back of his thigh. The duck tape was wrapped around the middle of Makoto's thigh, holding his leg bent all the way and since his foot could barely reached down to the covers, upright.

"Other one,"

Makoto lifted his other leg and it was quickly bound in the same fashion. Blushing and a little lightheaded, Makoto wasn't sure he could look away from the top bunk.

The mattress dipped as Sousuke crawled over him, his hand at the back of Makoto's head, guiding him to look down at him.

"How's is it?" Sousuke asked, explain further. "Not cutting off any circulation? Not painful?"

Makoto took stock, just to make sure, he felt a little humiliated, and way too vulnerable, but he wasn't in pain in the position. He shook his head no and Souske released him, letting his head down back to the bed.

"Good." Sousuke's voice had seemed to deepen further than normal. "Now we're ready to play."

* * *

His mouth was down to Makoto's chest in an instant, his tongue lavishing attention onto a ripe red nipple, making Makoto suck in a sharp breath.

Souske growled and palmed over his budging jersey shorts. He was a lot harder than he had expected from just getting Makoto as he wanted him. His eyes locked upwards to Makoto though Makoto couldn't maintain the eye contact.

His face was red all the way back to his ears and spreading down onto his sculptured shoulders. It was beautiful. His mouth struggling around the cheap tie Sousuke had used to gag him.

At first that's all Sousuke had thought he was going to do, but in the process of finding the tie in his top drawer he'd uncovered the duck tape with some other odds and ends. He'd grabbed it out of passing interest, tossing it to the bed before he had prowled around the side of the bed to Makoto.

He'd wanted to fuck Makoto out side initially, bare ass in his hands out in the open yard, forcing his face into the brick wall and hearing him whine and whimper, but-the way the pathetic boy had been so damn concerned for Sousuke. He could have let Sousuke throw himself from the dorm roof for all Makoto should care, but instead Makoto had stayed by him, even stopped him from hurting himself further.

And then the walk back up to their dorm room calmed Sousuke further. A part of him still steamed with the thought of Rin and-Nanase. The fire burning through him at the thought of how in an instant Rin had just so easily-chosen Nanase over Sousuke, again.

Sousuke hadn't meant to over react like he had, then running had just made him burn hotter and-he'd ended up running face first into a brick wall.

He'd thought all sense was burned up by the time Makoto had grabbed his arm, urging him back to reality. Sousuke snorted, still giving Makoto's chest and neck plenty of attention, his lower body had shifted. His cock was still in his boxer briefs, a bit tight but his hips were rocking, clothed cock grinding against Makoto's. The friction was blissful.

Somewhere along that dark, quiet walk up to their room, Souske had shifted into a steady heat, and all he could think about was the last time he'd forced Makoto underneath him. Since the last time, he'd spent enough time seeing Makoto shift in his seat next to him, or slide into the water, or just walk by and Sousuke was back in that moment pressed up against Makoto's ass.

Makoto let out a whimper, his eyes half lidded. Sousuke moved up on his hands and knees. Making it easier to crawl up and taste those roses lips.

Another whimper was Sosukes reward as he licked and suckled at Makoto's gagged lips. It wasn't like he could kiss in return, or ask Sousuke to stop.

At least Sousuke could still maintain control somewhere, even if it was just the quivering boy underneath him.

He smiled as he tipped his head, starting at Makoto's neck. There was something about that honey tan skin, Sousuke found quite wonderful. Leaving one last kiss on Makoto's chest Sousuke stood. Immediately Makoto was whining behind him.

Sousuke grinned as he went back to the top drawer of the dresser, rummaging for the bottle of lubricant. He glanced at Makoto on the bed. He was laying still, and so fucking hot strained against the bondage. His cock was that attractive pink again, resting against his stomach.

When Sousuke returned to the bed, he leaned down to press another kiss over Makoto's gagged lips. He climbed back on the bed, sliding between Makoto's prone legs.

"Been fingered before?" He asked as he deposited some lube in his hand, half watching Makoto.

The rush of a blush to Makoto's cheeks was enough to make Sousuke's cock jump.

"I'll take that as a, no," Sousuke chuckled and brushed his slick fingers down against Makoto's ass.

The brief touch made Maktot jump under him. His head restless, he turned away one moment before lifting it to look down another.

Sousuke let his fingers lightly run up Makoto's cook then, lightly stroking but not enough to really be satisfying. He watched the tortured boy under him squirm before his fingers dipped down again and he probed at Makoto's hole.

"I'm thinking I might have you suck me off," Sousuke couldn't decide if he liked talking dirty because he liked it, or because he like watching Makoto blush and squirm to it.

"I'd have to remove the gag though," Sousuke went on.

He let his two fingers start pushing in, starting a slow fucking motion.

"I could just fuck you instead."

Sousuke smiled as that comment won him a look of wide eyes. He prowled up, Makoto's body, one hand still working at his ass. He leaned on his other elbow, over Makoto's head, allowing his hand enough range to brush through Makoto's shaggy hair, brushing it up away from his face.

Noses almost touching, Makoto didn't have any choice but to look at Sousuke as he spoke this time.

"Do you want to get fucked by me?" Sousuke teased Makoto, his lips so close to kissing him, but never letting him.

"I could." Going on, Sousuke kept working with slick fingers, opening Makoto's ass. "No one would know how I fucked your pretty little ass hole."

The whimpering moan he got in return was enough to send a pleasant feeling down Sousuke's spine. He moved his fingers in and out of Makoto, keeping the idea of fucking him ever present. He licked his lips, tipping his forehead to rest on Makoto's. The small whimpers and moans in Sousuke's ears were lovely as he concentrated on keeping them coming in a steady stream.

He shifted his legs so his thighs pressed right up against Maktos own bound legs, keeping them up, and ensuring Makoto's ass was spread for him.

Makoto groaned under him, and pulled his head away, looking away from Sousuke. Presented with the skin of Maktos neck again, he kissed at the hollow under Makoto's ear. It was delicious to feel Makoto shiver with the kiss.

As best he could, Makoto had started moving with Souske's fingers, fucking himself onto the digits. Sousuke smiled and sat up, lifting Makoto's ass into his lap. He lightly started to caress against Makoto's cock, running his fingers up the back side and along over the tip, smearing the leaking pre-cum over to the other side.

He flipped his hand as well, moving to thrust his fingers in at an upward angle, rubbing over Makoto's prostate.

That earned him a throaty groan as Makoto tossed his head back again. His chest was heaving, and hips rocking as much as he could against Sousuke.

"Do you want to come?" Sousuke asked.

Makoto whimpered in response and Sousuke lightly let at his cock. He even bent down and kissed just ever so lightly at the tip.

"I don't think you've quite done enough to convince me." Sousuke chided, his fingers fucking slower before he pulled them out, whipping them against Makoto's ass.

The whimpering under him was delicious, but Sousuke wanted to hear a bit more. "Turn your head," he ordered before he reached up, and pulled the knot of the tie loose and pulled the gag from Makoto's.

"Now then," Sousuke smiled. "Would you like to come?"

Put line here

Makoto swallowed, his mouth dry from the gag. He looked to Sousuke, a bit surprised he actually wanted Makoto to speak.

But Sousuke was looking at him, expectant.

Swallowing again, Makoto managed a nod. "Yes."

Feeling that wonderfully warm breath over him again, Maktots wasn't surprised for once when he looked up to find Sousuke was hovering over him again.

"Really?" Souske asked, challenging.

Makoto flicked his tongue over his lips. He'd wanted to actually kiss Sousuke this whole time. The teasing way Sousuke had licked across his parted, gagged lips had been driving him crazy. So peering up through his lashes, Makoto nodded again as he lifted his head.

"Yes," he whispered before sealing his lips to Sousuke's.

This time around. Sousuke wasn't playful, or teasing. One of his hands dove under Makoto's skull, keeping his head tipped into the kiss as Sousuke opened his mouth into the kiss and made sure their tongues met. It was slick and hot as Sousuke sucked at Maktots mouth. At the same moment he returned a hand to Makoto's length, starting to stroke for the first real time that night.

It felt fantastic and Makoto moaned into Souske's mouth. There was a chuckle that rumbled thought the kiss before with a generous lick to Makoto's lips he parted as he spoke.

"Do you want my fingers back in your ass?"

Going red for the trillionth time that night, Makoto hid his face against Sousuke's neck. He couldn't manage to speak but he nodded, kissing at the patch of skin connecting Sousuke's neck to his shoulder.

He could practically feel the smug smile, as Sousuke nuzzled in against Makoto's cheek. He pulled his hand out from under Makoto's head and traced his way down to Makoto's ass again. There was a brief moment his fingers fumbled to squeeze more lube from the bottle before Sousuke was back to touching him full force.

Sousuke stopped for just enough time to pull his boxer briefs off before he was hauling Makoto firmly into his arms. One hand was down between both of their legs, fingers thrusting into Makoto as Sousuke's other arm was wound around Makoto's neck holding his face against Souske's skin. Sousuke had also started grinding, his own full hard-erection moving against Makoto's

Makoto felt flushed and out of breath by the time Sosuke sealed his lips again with his own.

It was strangely intimate to Makoto to be pressed so close to Sousuke. Souske's hand came up, combing Makoto's hair away from his forehead. It was more of a caress than anything.

Eyes closed, Makoto could feel himself getting closer. He bucked his hips upward, grinding into Sousuke on ever upswing and impaling himself on Sousuke's fingers on the down. It felt so amazing.

Makoto's moaned into the kiss.

He felt like he was so strung up, aware of everything Sousuke was doing to him, and the heat of their skin barely separating them. He was whining again, his senses on overload as the rush of an orgasm started the initial buzz though him.

As it started to tear through him, Makoto tried to pull away, but the hand in his hair kept him forced into the kiss that only deepened as Makoto shot between them, slicking up their skin as Sousuke ground hard into him.

He let out a whining cry into the kiss as the last of the white hot rush faded.

His head felt like it was swirling, breathing deep and heavy as Sousuke finally broke the kiss, pulling his fingers out of Makoto's ass as well. Makoto didn't want to open his eyes, sighing and letting his head rest against Sousuke's neck. The ache of his restrained limbs were finally starting to register. His shoulders were tight, and Makoto wanted to shrug them properly if only he could.

Next to him he could feel Sousuke shift, he made space between them just enough to snake his hand between their sweat slick bodies and start pumping himself.

Realizing, Makoto gasped and looked up, "uh," he started

But Sousuke smiled at him, touching their foreheads again. "Just stay still," Sousuke told him. "I'm close." He pressed a kiss to Makoto's prone lips.

"Next time," Sousuke said, speaking against Makoto's lips. "I'll let you suck me." He smiled deviously before moving in to kiss Makoto again.

Grinding and moving again, Sousuke pumped himself off, pressing every inch of skin capable against Makoto. It was erotic in an animalistic way that had never occurred to Makoto. If Makoto hadn't already come and could barely keep his eyes open from fatigue he would have been hard again.

Sousuke had been right, it wasn't long at all before he was growling into Makoto's mouth, his limbs shaking as he milked himself of the cum shooting out between them.

He broke the kiss with a huff and leaned back, against the wall, breathing hard, he closed his eyes.

Makoto adjusted his head on Sousuke's arm. His limbs were aching. But he didn't want to break Sousuke out of his feeling of bliss.

But he breathed a sigh of relief when Sousuke rolled back towards him.

"Comere' " he mumbled holding out his hand. Makoto rolled up on his side to let Sousuke have access to his arms.

They discovered duck tape had been a bad idea. Sousuke ended up using scissors to slice a long stripe through the duck tape before pulling it off, taking most of Makoto's hair with it. First his arms were freed then his legs, and Makoto laid back with a sigh of relief as he just let his limbs fall away from him naturally.

He didn't want to move, but the thought that he was still on Sousuke's bed nagged at him until Makoto sat up-just as Sousuke ducked under to get back on to the bed.

"I was just going to-uh-go back to my bed." Makoto explained.

Sousuke looked him over again before pulling the covers down and motioning for Makoto to slide in. "Don't bother, we're already both here."

Not sure if he really should, Makoto hesitated. "I don't want to-I mean it's your bed and-"

Sousuke sighed. "Get in."

Makoto pressed his lips together before nodding in agreement and getting under the covers. Sousuke quickly followed, pulling the sheet and duvet over them both.

Facing the wall, Makoto tried to give Sousuke as much space as he wanted. Sousuke had other plans, turning on his side as well and resting his forehead at the back of Makoto's neck.

Makoto closed his eyes, though in the back of his mind he mulled over what had just happened. Last time he would have staked his life that Sousuke wouldn't ever want to do anything with him again, but this time-well, they may not be friends but Makoto was pretty certain sex was now officially on the table as far as roommate interactions went.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

He smelled like warmth and cinnamon and just a touch like rain, Sousuke concluded as bleary eyed he woke. His face was buried at the back of Makoto's neck and hair still. And Souske breathed in another spiced sample.

Next to him, his phone buzzed with his alarm. Sousuke found it, flipping it off before looking back over to the boy he was sharing a bed with. Makoto was still turned towards the wall, but he was much more relaxed. Sousuke shifted up onto his arm as he looked down at Makoto.

The night before had been-different. He'd just wanted a fuck and had ended up tangling himself three way to Sunday in all of Makoto.

The guy had no idea how charming he was with his polite smiles and shaggy hair and big droopy puppy eyes.

Sousuke sighed as he rested his arm on his forehead. He wasn't sure if he was making his life easier or harder. His eyes skirted over Makoto's honey skinned shoulders. A dark patch at the junction of his shoulder and neck made Sousuke smile. It was at least going to be fun to watch Makoto stammer off a reason for that at practice that night.

He couldn't spend all morning in bed though and Sousuke shifted up and out of bed.

Twenty minutes later, showered, packed and dressed in his pristine white uniform Sousuke hesitated at the edge of the bed. He made an unsure noise in his throat before he leaned down and let a lingering hand caress down Makoto's side, even continue over the sheet to his thigh.

Straightening, Sousuke headed for the door. With the night Makoto had had he could use a morning in bed. Sousuke could cover for him.

He quietly shut the door behind him before meeting Rin in the hallway for morning class.

He was late to class, but sneaking in through the back, Makoto tried to be quiet. He'd woken up alone in the room, and scrambled to get a flash shower and into a uniform.

It seemed they were back to Sousuke ignoring he existed, or at least somehow liked. The teacher scolded Makoto and class continued as Makoto dug his notebook out of his bag. Looking up for the lecture, Makoto didn't miss seeing Sousuke's surprised expression. Rin next to him looked miffed and poked Sousuke, asking something in whisper. Sousuke answered in a whisper as well before looking back at Makoto.

He knew he was blushing again as he looked down at his notebook. It surprised him just how much it-he knew Sousuke didn't care about him. It had all been physical, but a part of him had at least hoped things would get easier between them.

Around his middle Makoto squeezed his arm a bit tighter. It was just a fraction of what it usually felt like, but it still-he was feeling hollow.

He smiled a sad smile, maybe it was just it being a another rejection. It's not like his initial wound had really ever healed, so every little abrasion now made the old ones ache.

It was fine, he'd managed this far, he'd keep managing on his own.

Makoto made sure to stay out of Sousuke's way the rest of the day at class. By the time swim practice started it was feeling like a normal day after all.

At least until his nerves were set on end, as Sousuke stepped up next to him.

Makoto noticed most of the other teammates had all filtered out of the room and we're talking and laughing as they continued on to the pool.

"How's your shoulders today?" Sousuke asked in a hushed voice. "You kept rolling them all night after we'd gone to bed."

Startled, Makoto wasn't sure how to respond for a moment. "Uhm, they're fine."

Sousuke nodded. But still stood directly in Makoto path to the pool. He looked down before asking. "You were okay-with what we did?"

Makoto looked to the door. Literally there were people fifteen feet from them. "Uhm, uh it was fine."

"You sure?" Sousuke's voice was deeper growl this time. "It was a little intense."

Whether it was consoling Sousuke's conscious or what ever, it seemed Makoto wasn't going to get out of this with out giving a clear answer. "I'm fine. Taking off the duck tape hurt but besides that it was just fine."

Right, fine, fine, fine. What was Makoto supposed to say? Good, felt like the wrong word, and great or wonderful were just way out of the question, but alright made it sound like he hadn't enjoyed the sex-which he had-but it wasn't like they were really all that into each other. It had been just sex.

Sousuke nodded, "Kay." He mumbled. Those eyes shifted back up to Makoto, pinning him again.

Teal eyes were still on him a second later. He looked to the lockers before pushing off, calling over his shoulder. "Come on, you've got plenty to work on before prefecturals."

Sighing, Makoto closed his own locker and stared out in the pool. He wanted nothing more than to dive head first into the current and swim everything away. But before Makoto could manage to get into the water, Rin was stepping up to him.

"You two are getting along better."

Right. Yeah. Or at least that's what Makoto wanted to say. Instead he just smiled and shrugged. "I guess."

"He doesn't talk about you anymore." Rin went on.

Makoto nodded, not quite sure what Rin meant, but pretty sure he didn't want to ask. Rin had a way of saying things and not realizing he said them out loud, or at least that's what Makoto hoped went on.

Rin sighed. Giving Makoto a more significant look. "He's always been a bit of a real loner." He shrugged. "It's just really surprising to see him making a new friend or two." He smiled at Makoto before leaving off.

Yeah just another friend. Makoto pulled his swimming cap on followed by he goggles. He could really use a swim. Samezuka had been his plan to stay uncomplicated. That wasn't working out very well.

Makoto was avoiding going back to his bedroom, and Makoto wasn't quite sure exactly how to get past that. He had even showered in the locker room, and now standing dressed in front of his locker he frowned. It had been three days since they'd-Makoto reddened. He'd managed to stay out of the room alone with Sousuke till then. Practicing late, doing his homework in the library, and even just going on walks across campus. He'd managed to blow enough time until it was about ten thirty or so and it was late enough for Sousuke to be in bed, or it was acceptable for Makoto to go straight to bed.

But tonight, Maktot didn't think he had the avoidance in him. He was exhausted. He'd swam at least six or so hours every day since the week had started. With prefecturals the weekend after next, Makoto was pushing harder. He had the fastest time for backstroke in Samezuka, but that wasn't what he was worried about.

It was his freestyle times. He wasn't having Rin timing him, but he knew he wasn't amazingly close to Rin's times and that's what he needed.

Makoto glanced at the clock. Eight. That meant an hour or so alone in the room with Sousuke. but there was no way Makoto could do anything more that night but chill a little.

Sousuke had been-different. He still didn't really seem to enjoy Makoto's presence but he didn't fight it. Not that Sousuke wasn't saying all that much to Makoto, and when he did it was always back to the jabs and insults. But they went to class together and ate most meals together and saw each other at practice, all of course accompanied by Rin or another swim team member.

It wasn't like he could do anything about it, he'd have to face Sousuke eventually.

So taking a deep breath, Makoto slung his swim bag over his shoulder before starting up to his room.

Sousuke was laying on his bed, when Makoto came in. It looked like he'd washed his bedding and made it since Makoto and he had-uh-soiled them a few days earlier.

"Hey," Makoto greeted as Sousuke looked up at him.

"Hey," Sousuke said back, turning back to the book in his hand.

Not feeling awkward at all, Makoto trudged in. Shutting the door behind him as he set his swim bag down and started to work on removing his shoes.

Turning around Sousuke was watching him again. He looked irritated. Or maybe Makoto was bit scared of what would happen again when Sousuke was irritated. Sousuke seemed to have bit of a resting bitch face problem and Makoto was never sure any more on what was real irritation and what was just his normal expression.

"Why did you keep that bag?"

A little taken back, Makoto looked back to his swim bag.

"I-" Makoto tipped his head smiling. "I guess a part of me still will always feel like Iwatobi has a piece of me." That was surprisingly honest Makoto realized as he said it. He removed his jacket, hanging it up before going back to his desk.

"You should get a Samezuka one." Sousuke mumbled. He tipped his head to the closet as well. "As well as a jacket, you may not wear the other one, but I've seen it there."

"Maybe," Makoto said.

Sosuke sighed behind him. "You need to start considering yourself a part of this team."

Stopping, Makoto looked down at Sousuke. He wasn't sure if Sousuke was right or not. Going with the safe route, Makoto made sure to speak quietly. "I would never do anything in this team to bring the others down, especially Rin."

This time when Sousuke put down the book, he snapped it shut. He sat up a second later as he pinned Makoto with his gaze again.

"I wasn't referring to Rin." Sousuke growled. "You're not going anywhere with out these fucking people!" Sousuke gestured outwardly towards the door, more than likely meaning the rows of rooms lining the halls.

Startled, Makoto wasn't quite sure what to say. Why the hell did this even matter to Sousuke?

"You know for all Rin keeps talking about you being one happy-go-lucky dumb ass of a friend maker, you don't seem to have made a single one while here." Sousuke continued. His teal eyes were still tracking Makoto.

Makoto opened his mouth still unsure, before suddenly he spoke, "I could say the same for you." It wasn't exactly the insult of the year, but Makoto wasn't sure he even had it in him to say unkind things-At least up until now.

The world was an awfully cruel place after all. Sometimes it managed to break even the best of them. And Maktot was so tired of feeling, so tired of worrying about everybody else.

Well the good news was Makoto could clearly tell when Sousuke was really starting to get angry still. His brow furrowed deeper and his eyes narrowed. "Excuse me, Tachibana?"

Sousuke was up and standing before Makoto in an instant, using is full height to his advantage again as he spoke again. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Makoto took one step back as Sousuke took one forward. "I've told you."

"Really?" Sousuke asked though with the face expression it was probably rhetorical. "You left your home, your little pity party of friends, your family, your little godforsaken nobody school all because Samezuka is, 'a great opportunity' for you?" Sousuke shook his head. "Nah, I don't think so."

Sousuke leaned in deeper, his face hard and cold and very close to Makoto's. "Why are you really here?"

For once in Makoto's life he found he had the real compacity for apathy. And he had no desire to fight it. "Why are you here, Yamazaki-kun?" He asked in a steady voice. "Not chasing anyone in particular?"

"Don't fucking-" Sousuke started with an ugly sneer on his face.

"What ever you think of me in your head is probably right," Makoto interrupted. "Spot on. I'm here to destroy myself from the inside out. I'm here to talk a good talk and leave empty handed. I'm here to drown myself in that big, fancy Olympic pool." Makoto stepped closer, for once choosing to invade Sousuke's space. "But at least I'm not here clinging to someone so tightly I'm pulling them under the current with me."

Sousuke looked at him for a second, before his face twisted again, and this time Makoto wasn't sure if it was anger or pain, but what ever the hell it was, Makoto had hit a nerve.

"You have no idea why I'm here." Sousuke hissed.

Makoto's nodded, before hammering the last nail into the coffin. "Does Rin have an idea why?"

Makoto couldn't bring himself to bother with feeling guiltily as he snagged his laptop off his desk and pushed his way past Sousuke on his way to the bunk bed.

He was stopped by Sousuke's hand on his arm before he made it to the ladder.

"I'm going to fuck your mouth." Sousuke said, tipping his head up, his eyes were dark and murderous as he looked at Makoto. "I'm going to make you beg to lick up my cum from the floor, and you are going to do everything I ask, the second I ask it, like the pathetic slut you are."

Makoto sighed. He reached down, taking Sousuke's hand from his arm as he intertwined their fingers. He brought Souske's hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss to Sousuke's knuckles. "Of course, Yamazaki-kun."

Makoto released Sousuke's hand before setting his laptop on his bed and climbing up onto it as well. He refused to look down at Sousuke as he crossed his legs, back against the wall and opened the laptop.

Already though he felt like his insides were leaking out of his rib cage, like they were sand again, running out and leaving nothing but the raw, painful hollow feeling. Sousuke had been right. Makoto had left behind so freaking much. And the ghosts of his old life were always ever present, always there to haunt him of his loss.

If possible he had the sinking feeling he'd just made things so much worse.

Chapter end.

Don't join cults. See you next water time.

Tumblr: .com


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Yup, he had. He'd managed to make things much worse.

Sousuke came through on his promise less than 24 hours later. His hands dug into Makoto's scalp as he shoved himself deeper down Makoto's throat. Makoto's hands flailed, trying to find something to hold on to. He managed to knock something off the shelves at his side, but could really care less as to what.

They were supposed to be in class, but instead Sousuke had backed Makoto into a dark maintenance closet, before tripping him onto his knees and pulling Makoto's face up with a big hand tangled into his hair.

It was surprisingly fine with Makoto. He'd spent the night waking every few hours, his chest heaving, the thought of car tires screeching and endless heart wrenching screams. Wild eyed, he'd calm himself before trying to sleep again. By morning, he was red eyed and strung so tight a tug or two and he might snap.

On his way out the door, he'd smacked the framed photo face down on to his desk. Though not looking at it didn't help. Nothing helped anymore. Well nothing except for-

Sousuke tightened his grip on Makoto's hair, making him pay attention as he rocked deeper down Makoto's throat.

That was fine. Makoto could use an excuse not to think about anything for a while.

As if on cue, Sousuke combed his fingers through Makoto's hair, brushing the fringe back from his face. Sousuke pulled his hips back, his cock sliding out from Makoto's mouth, sliding against his tongue before dropping out, a clear string of saliva stretched between the tip and Makoto's tongue. It snapped and dripped to the floor. Makoto let out a coughed breath, brushing his hand over his mouth.

Makoto closed his mouth, swallowing and licking his lips before opening his mouth again, so Sousuke could lean his cock forward. He lapsed at it again before he had to cough, turning away.

Before this, Makoto had never looked at Sousuke's cock before, (he'd obviously seen it, felt it, humped against it, but never looked at it) but now that it was literally right under his nose he noticed how dark it was in color, at least when flushed. It wasn't particularly long, but it was thick, a mouth full for sure as Makoto had to strain to fit it past his lips. It wasn't like Makoto's at all he felt like. It had a broad head, and struck out from Sousuke's body, heavily pointed downward, even when Sousuke was this turned on.

Makoto tried again, tipping his head to try and take Sousuke in again. He was stopped as Sousuke petted his hair away from his face, even running a hand down against his cheek.

"Catch your breath," he gruffed, his hand still playing with Makoto's hair, running through it at the side of his face. "The last thing that's going to be attractive is you puking and coughing up a lung."

Makoto nodded, his mouth pressed against his hand. He coughed a couple of times more, regaining a steady breath before he turned to Sousuke again.

He coaxed Sousuke back to leaning into him, licking his way up the underside of Sousuke's dark tan cock. When he got to the head Makoto licked his lips again before pressing a wet tongue to the slit. The deep red color was quite attractive. He mouthed his way down the side again, before he encountered Sousuke's skin.

He tipped his eyes up, to see teal eyes focused on him, slightly narrow and a hard set of Sousuke's mouth. Did he expect Makoto to fight him? After the fight they had had the night before that was the logical thing. But this was just sex, and a damn good distraction, and the sooner he made Sousuke shoot the sooner Sousuke would leave him alone.

Makoto kissed the skin just above Sousuke cock, wondering absently if Sousuke had a treasure trail by chance. As a swimmer, he shaved every thing from his chest to his cock so it wasn't like Makoto would get a glimpse of it.

"Back to work," Sousuke growled.

God, he looked so pissed even with Makoto's mouth moving over his cock.

But supplying what was ordered, Makoto leaned back on his heels, popping the tip of Sousuke into his mouth and giving a hard suck.

A groan above him, told Makoto that was a move he'd need to remember for the future. Filing it away Makoto started to move his head, bobbing as he took more of Sousuke in every time.

It wasn't long though before Sousuke took control back again, gripping at Makoto's jaw he thrust forward, face fucking Makoto all the way back to his tonsils. Makoto tried his best to let he head lean back and relax his throat. What ever Sousuke wanted, Makoto found he was surprisingly okay with giving it. He let his eyes drift closed.

But he still needed to breath so the peaceful moment didn't last long before Makoto had one clawing hand at Sousuke's thigh. Sousuke pulled back immediately. As Makoto coughed and sputtered for breath, he felt Sousuke's fingers again running through his hair.

"I'm close." Sousuke mumbled over him.

Makoto nodded, looking back to the intimidating equipment and murmured, "alright."

He opened his mouth again, signaling he was ready and Sousuke slid in. He thrust in a few times before Makoto heard him gasp and he became erratic, hand fisting in Makoto's hair to the point of pain before Sousuke pound harder into him.

Eyes a bit wide, Makoto's hands scrambled to hold on to anything, one going to the shelving and the other grasping at Sousuke's thigh.

And then Sousuke was spilling into him. It wasn't pleasant to the taste, but Makoto wasn't sure he minded. As Sousuke pulled out, his semen dripped out of Makoto's mouth, running down his chin and even some trailing down his neck.

He felt-not better off at all-but not wholly there. His body swayed on his knees, looking down at the cement floor where his spit mingled with Sousuke's cum. It was a mess. Makoto didn't even want to consider what he looked like.

But it was like his brain had stopped. Exactly what he wanted, it was always so relieving after Sousuke did this to him. He didn't feel and it was so perfect.

"Come on, look up," Sousuke startled Makoto out of his trance.

It was startling to peer forward straight into bright teal eyes. Though Sousuke still didn't give him any other expression than cold ice. He was hunched down in front of Makoto. He had already buttoned his shirt and tucked himself in, all zipped up as if nothing had happened. He reached for Makoto, holding his jaw up so he could use a rag to wipe away the semen dripping down Makoto's throat. He looked possibly more pissed than he had before shoving Makoto into that closet.

"I wish I could manage to figure you out." Sousuke growled. It was under his breath, but Makoto managed to make it out.

Makoto smiled sadly, at least he'd managed to hang on to something, even if it wasn't his dignity, or pride, or feelings, his family, his home, or even his former best friend, he at least had something.

Sousuke just kept cleaning him off, a hint of that strange intimacy present again. It continued as he pulled Makoto up to stand, tucking his shirt back in and fastening his uniform closed. The front of Makoto's shirt was soaked in his own spit and semen. But Sousuke hid it satisfactory enough before placing a hand on Makoto's back he led him out of the small room.

Neither of them mentioned that Makoto hadn't even been remotely hard as Sousuke dropped his hand and led the way to the cafeteria.

* * *

There were too many fucking questions when it came to Tachibana!

The leading one being, why in the hell was the mother hen of that shit stain of a friend's group now such a wreck? And why the hell was it no one else noticed? And if they had, why was no one doing anything about it?

Sousuke tossed his lunch tray down beside Rin, before he looked up to Makoto, tipping his head to the seat across from him. Makoto had tried to say something about not being hungry but Sousuke had pushed him in line. Sousuke knew he hadn't had breakfast either so he wasn't missing lunch. Because like hell was Sousuke letting that little twat out of his sight for one fucking minute anymore.

"Yo," Rin greeted as he looked up from the school paper.

"Yo," Sousuke mimicked, he still stared at Makoto across from him. He looked presentable, if not vacant. He looked around the room, his hand grasping a pair of chopsticks, but not really eating anything. It was like he was just floating, just there. And it was pissing Sousuke off!

"Oi Makoto," Rin said setting down the paper.

Just like that, Souske blinked and for the first time he could see it. Like slipping on a mask, Makoto managed to force a smile-had it always been like that?-and look at Rin like what ever he had to say was the most interesting thing in the world. And yet-his eyes, he wasn't there still. It was so perfectly fake it kind of crushed Sousuke to see it.

When had the scales fallen from Souske's eyes? Ever since-God, he'd managed to break him hadn't he? He'd finally managed to decipher the code enough to see through shades and-this couldn't seriously be what Makoto walked around like all the time? ...could it?

And how in the world could his friends not see it?

"Yeah?" Makoto asked, the cracks between that smile so glaringly obvious. He wasn't smiling he was imitating, pulling on the act and hoping no one noticed!

"Did Sousuke tell you?" Rin asked in an excited voice.

Those lifeless, vacant eyes shifted to Sousuke. "Tell me what?"

That was a very good question. Sousuke glanced at Rin. He looked slightly peeved that what ever it was Sousuke was supposed to remember he clearly didn't.

Rin let out a frustrated sigh, "you're supposed to be my back up, no wonder running this team seems so hard," he grumbled and whined before looking to Makoto. "Sousuke is swimming in the relay!"

...oh. OH! Yeah well he'd fucked Makoto twice since that little late night show down in the pool so Sousuke wasn't actually surprised he didn't remember. He pulled on a cocky smile though to answer.

"It wasn't hard beating you once we were in the water." He shifted his eyes back to Makoto though, curious which mask the boy would pull on next.

Through the cracks there was a tinge of something real, before the vacancy was shifted back and Makoto pulled on the smiling mask, clearly a personal favorite. "That's really great Yamazaki-kun."

"Yeah," was all Sousuke could manage. He still wasn't sure why this relay stuff always mattered so much to everybody but for Rin he could at least give it a shot.

"So uh," Rin went on, he bit at his bottom lip before continuing. "I was kind of wondering, you know, what about you-and the relay maybe."

It made sense. Makoto left everybody else in his water tread when he used his backstroke to propel himself though the water. Though Sousuke was now thinking that was less attributable to 'love of the sport' and more to the fact he spent every second in the water anymore. It was actually a little frightening. Despite being told by everyone to cool his jets, Makoto still stayed a few hours past everyone else. Rin had mentioned that on weekends it was nonstop to the point of insanity. Rin would tell him to leave in the morning and by noon Makoto would be back, diving in with out abandon.

Makoto let that happy mask slip for all of half a second, and Sousuke jumped in with out thinking.

"I thought you were changing it up this year," he quickly spouted to Rin. "You know desire and heart and all that riding shot gun."

"Well yeah, that's why I'm asking!" Rin grumped to him. He looked back to Makoto again. "I mean if you don't want to do it, that's cool- but you are looking like the fastest and it's your last year and everything so I wanted to offer it to you first." Rin needled his chop sticks into his food. "And ya know I just figured maybe it would, I don't know-help a bit. You know if we won and all."

Help with what?! What about some synchronized friendship swim was going to magically smack Makoto up side the head and out of his Prozac-popping funk?

Makoto's smile this time was genuine and sad, genuinely sad and that was about all that was genuine about it. "I," he looked down at his food, struggling with something, his brow furrowed. "Yeah," He finally settled on. "I think it might. I'd be glad to do the relay with you guys."

Next to him Rin breathed a sigh of relief.

Sousuke just looked on at Makoto in wonder. He didn't want to. He so clearly did not want to go, and he still fucking said yes! Why was he doing-he was he really going to put Rin first in this? It wasn't like they couldn't find a replacement.

"I don't think-" Sousuke growled.

"Oh lay off him, grumpy!" Rin said. "He's a good swimmer, just admit it." He smiled at Makoto before turning back to his food.

Makoto pulled on that ridiculously fake smile for Rin again before he turned to Sousuke.

All Sousuke wanted to say him was, 'I see you, you bastard, I fucking see you.' Makoto winced just slightly, marking that Sousuke's expression had probably relayed at least a bit of the message.

Hurriedly, Makoto shifted his eyes away, shoving a few more mouthfuls of food in. Was he even chewing or just swallowing so he would have at least a few calories to manage to swim on later?

Why did he never fight back here? Sousuke also wondered. From the verbal tussle they'd had the night before it was clear he knew about Sousuke, and Sousuke's gaze flecked to the oblivious red head next to them. Makoto had the ammunition. Even just an hour ago, he didn't let out a squeak when Sousuke took out his anger and pushed him on his knees. Hell, Makoto had jumped in, nuzzling up to Sousuke's dick in less than a minute.

"I'll see you guys at practice." Makoto said as he stood.

Sousuke jumped a little. He wanted to follow Makoto, but- Sousuke wasn't his mom. He sent a look Makoto's way. He hoped he was going up to the dorm to change, maybe shower. He looked like hell. Not that Sousuke could blame him. He could have picked a better day to shove down Makoto's throat, he'd heard how restless Makoto had been all night.

But when Sousuke felt white hot with the anger like that- burning it off wasn't so easy.

"Chow!" Rin intoned and waved.

Makoto waved back as he turned away to go dispense his tray.

"He didn't eat very much." Sousuke grumbled.

Rin gave him a long look for several seconds.

"What?" Sousuke growled.

"What's got your panties in a bind?" Rin asked. "I thought you two were getting along better. He wear your favorite Sailor Moon shirt or something?"

Sousuke just, "hmft'ed" at him as he tried to pay attention to his own food. He rolled his eyes. "He just seems off is all."

"Well why don't you have an intervention and see if you can get him to admit there's a problem." Rin said, and Sousuke was a bit shocked to hear it was-well nice and fried in a bitter attitude.

Sousuke turned back to his food. Maybe he would do just that-and shove it up Rin's ass the next time he saw him.

* * *

Makoto was surprised as he surfaced from the water, gasping for air and looking up to discover standing directly over him was Sousuke. Well there was no hiding from him in the pool anymore it seemed.

Makoto wiped the water from his face, reaching for the side to pull himself out.

"Don't bother." Sousuke said as he knelt down. He was dressed, wearing a hoodie over a plain dark teal shirt and board shorts. He must have removed his shoes while Makoto was occupied with the water as his bare feet slid into the water when he sat at the edge of the pool.

Sousuke extended a hand, holding it out to Makoto with his ever-present stony expression.

Makoto slid a hesitant hand into Sousuke's and with a yank he was pulled half way out of the water. He scrambled onto the side of the pool, to sit next to Sousuke. He removed his swim cap setting it with his goggles near the edge.

Sousuke just looked down at the water, not avoiding Makoto's face but not acknowledging it either.

Not sure, if he should break the silence or let it be, Makoto ran a hand through his wet hair, brushing it unprofitably away from his face.

"Do you want to keep doing this?" Sousuke suddenly asked.

Wide eyed, Makoto wasn't sure what he meant. Sitting there? Swimming? Avoiding Sousuke unless they were naked and grinding? Tearing his own insides out at every chance he got? Oh wait, it really didn't matter since he was still basically doing all of those things with out a second thought.

Sousuke looked at Makoto, making Makoto realize his dark shirt matched his bright eyes. That was nice at least.

"I mean the screwing each other thing." Sousuke said, probably in response to Makoto's lost expression.

In all honesty, Makoto hadn't thought there was much of an option. After it happened the first time, maybe, but after the second-he'd just figured there would be after that a next time and a next time and they'd use each other up till Makoto didn't have anything else to give to alleviate his hollowness. But now that Sousuke was asking-

"Yes." Makoto heard his own voice affirm. Feeling like he could just-not even 'be' was his only salvation.

Sousuke just nodded, "alright." He looked like he wanted to say more but instead he just glanced back at the water.

"We should probably set some ground rules then."

Confused, Makoto looked over, "like what?"

Sousuke gave an exasperated sigh. "Like if you tell Rin I'll make sure you drown in the shower."

Right, like those kinds of rules. Makoto pressed his lips together, nodding. Rin was clearly off limits all the way around.

Sousuke shook his head. "You don't tell him any of it, not the sex, not what we do before, not what we do after." He snorted, seeming to find his own statement a bit humorous. "You know it's probably just good if you only talk to him about swimming, and maybe homework."

Looking over at the sad way Sousuke spoke, Makoto gave his own smile. If Sousuke wanted to lighten the mood a bit Makoto wasn't going to stand in his way. "I'm not sure there is anything for me to talk about with Rin besides swimming. ...Sometimes he mentions the weather."

Sousuke let a smile peek at that. His teal eyes skirting back to Makoto.

The sad but humorous moment shared couldn't seem to last though as in the next moment Sousuke's smile was gone as he spoke.

"Anyone you don't want me to mention this to?"

No one really. But Makoto made to at least try to think about it. "None of my old friends." Or maybe his mother.

He was glad that Sousuke didn't give some crude comment, only nodded and affirmed. "Iwatobi's off limits, got it."

He sighed then, sitting back a little as he continued. "You're okay with the bondage?"

"Not duck tape again." Makoto tried.

Sousuke smiled at him, chuckling. "It was a bad idea. I wasn't thinking about pulling it off at the time." He looked over Makoto's hands. "But maybe if I found something else, you okay with that?"

Makoto was well aware of the blush on his cheeks as he looked away to the water. How was he supposed to answer that? It sounded so-dirty.

Feeling the heat radiating from Sousuke as he leaned closer. "I need you to answer. I don't know if you hate what I'm doing if you don't let me know."

Looking over, Makoto gave a small nod, still not looking up actually at Sousuke. "I'm okay with-with you tying me up." He mumbled most of the last half but at least he said it.

"And with teasing you?" Sousuke asked. He cocked his smile to the side as he went on. "Or maybe if I tried the gag again?"

This time, Makoto pressed his lips together as he looked at Sousuke, letting his expression speak for him.

Sousuke's smile just widened. "Alright, alright you're right I pushed that time on purpose." He dropped the smile though as he went on, "but really, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to." A finger slid forward, brushing against Makoto's wrist lightly. "I need to know what is off limits."

Makoto looked away again. He wasn't sure but, he just went with what he was thinking. "You've got to be kidding right?"

Sousuke cocked his head. "Not really." He withdrew himself, all vestiges of a 'light' conversation with Makoto gone in an instant. Well it wouldn't be a conversation with Sousuke if it all went smoothly,

Looking at him, Makoto wasn't sure what sick game he was playing at this time around for things. "I don't really care what you do to me."

The intensity in Sousuke's teal eyes was a bit frightening this time around. "I want you to care."

"I don't."

"You should."

"Well I still don't." Makoto laughed this time. He wanted to cry so he laughed instead. "I don't care if you use me as a punching bag or as-" Makoto looked away. "Or like that. I don't care."

It was quiet for a painful moment before Sousuke was pushing again. "I need you to care."

"Or what?" Makoto asked as he looked at the water.

Sousuke was blinking at him, but not in a vacant way, in the way that suggested he was processing, taking in Makoto to appropriately offer blackmail.

"You want to keep screwing?" He asked again.

Makoto sighed. He brought a hand up to his face rubbing at his eyes and forehead before tiredly answering. "Yeah." The relief of it was more than swimming, more than the oblivion of homework. It only lasted a few hours at a time but it was a blissful few hours that felt like he was just-nothing. "I want to." Makoto said under his breath.

"Good." Souske voice was level this time. "Then you'll care."

Makoto's looked at him exasperated. He'd just told him!

Sousuke tipped his head in response. "I feel like I'm raping you, It doesn't seem to matter if you're hard or you come I still think that. But you never say anything before and you never say anything after and we're heating up fast. And I know I'm being used for something, so at least give me the dignity of full disclosure on consent."

"I've never said no-" Makoto started.

"And until now you've never said yes either." Sousuke interrupted. "Now I need to know all the things you're saying 'yes' to so I'm absolutely sure I don't trail into 'no' territory because you 'don't care.'" Sousuke huffed looking away to the windows. "Or at least up until you do, and I have to deal with the fact I've hurt you."

Makoto looked down. "Fine."

He could kind of see where Sousuke was coming from now a bit. If Sousuke hurt him it would be on his hands, for the rest of his life. Makoto wasn't sure he had it in him to hurt someone else and certainly not like that.

"Now for real this time, the bondage?" Sousuke affirmed. "I'll find something less-agitating to take off."

Makoto nodded.

"And the gag was okay?" Sousuke prompted.

Giving a simple but firm nod Makoto still didn't look at Sousuke.

"Okay." Sousuke let out a long breath. "Now what's off limits?"

This was a lot harder to talk about than to just-doing. No body had really made him talk about it, then again no one had ever been as demanding as Sousuke about anything. He was assertive and headstrong in a way Makoto had never been accustom to.

"Well?" Sousuke prompted.

Like now. Sousuke was being pretty demanding right now.

Makoto felt the heat rise to his cheeks. Was there anything he wasn't okay with? So far he'd just let Sousuke do what ever he wanted. That was the point! If Sousuke took control then Makoto could finally have a few moments he wasn't white knuckling his way through his life. But was there anything that made him uncomfortable? A lot of things Sousuke did made Makoto uncomfortable. Like talking about it... But was that really bad? Makoto did have to admit he was the one that was pretty quiet about what they were doing. Sousuke just wanted limits.

"Tachibana," Sousuke was growling this time.

"I'm thinking," Makoto assured he wasn't tuning Sousuke out in a calm voice.

Sousuke backed off immediately. "Oh." He breathed. His expression changed a bit, looking away a bit awkwardly. "Uh, it's okay, just take your time."

Makoto's frowned. It was things like that working to confuse him about their relationship. Sousuke pushed and pushed and did what ever the hell he wanted all the way up until Makoto gave him an inch and he pulled back, messing up their relationships with things that were just-intimate. Things you didn't do with someone you hated.

He ran a hand through his hair. What didn't he want Sousuke doing to him? Everything he'd done so far had been-well it had pushed Makoto but not like he had gotten scared or really uncomfortable. Sousuke exuded with alpha male, and controlling their-uh, play had been kind of expected.

"Marks." Makoto settled on.

Sousuke perked up next to him, leaning back on his hand, he leaned closer to Makoto, looking like he was all ears.

"I don't want you to leave marks." Makoto had plenty of those all over his insides, he didn't need more to explain on his outsides.

"I've kind of already," Sousuke started, his eyes drifted to Makoto's neck and shoulders.

Makoto brushed that off, shacking his head. "Those are easy to hide." He shifted uncomfortably. "I mean like lasting ones. Ones I can't just blame on a girl friend or what ever."

At first Sousuke's face shifted into surprise. "You mean like breaking skin kind of marks?"

Biting his lip, Makoto gave a confirmation nod.

That's when Sousuke's face shifted back to hard, eyes narrow as his brow lowered. "I'd never do that to you." He looked away, growling under his voice. "I promised I wouldn't hurt you." His teal eyes shifted to Makoto. "What else?"

Was there anything more? Makoto shook his head, not sure what else they could really manage to do.

Sousuke sighed and closed his eyes for half a second. "Exhibitionism?"

Makoto shot back, shaking his head no immediately. "Uh uh."

Chuckling, Sousuke let Makoto see his amused smile again. "Thought not." He powered onward though. "We will start easier. Penetration?"

He was so frank about it, Makoto could barely bring himself to meet Sousuke's eyes. "Uhm uh I-I'm fine with that." Sousuke had already threatened it plenty of times to know that.

"And if I use toys?" Sousuke pushed right on ahead.

"Toys?" Makoto's brow furrowed.

Sousuke's brow lifted, "like an anal plug."

Oh. That kind of toys. Makoto's blush was back in full force. "Uh..."

Another amused smile. Right, Sousuke liked watching Makoto squirm, need to remember that more often. "We'll figure it out along the way with that one." He wasn't done yet though as he went right on asking, "blindfold?"

Couldn't move and couldn't see? The idea blossomed in Makoto's head. It'd be almost like swimming, he wouldn't have to think about anything at all. "Yes." He answered very clearly. He shifted though, finally looking at Sousuke for the first time in a while. "Is there anything-I mean that you don't want to..."

Sousuke didn't need him to finish. He traced along Makoto's shoulder, at some point shifting again into that strange mode where he actually seemed like he might almost like Makoto. He leaned forward pressing his lips to the peak of Makoto's shoulder. It was short but a blush was rushing to Makoto's face for an entirely different reason now.

"I don't like blood." Sousuke answered quite candidly. "I don't like hurting. If you're looking to work out what ever the hell you keep moping about with a whip or a cane or what ever, I won't be the one to do it." He kissed Makoto's shoulder again. "I'll hold you down all you want, but I won't inflict real pain." He turned away, retreating from his close proximity too Makoto. "There's enough pain out there for the both of us already."

It was surprising how honest his response was and Maktot found himself falling prey to the small understanding between them, leaning in-

"I like being in control." That wasn't even surprising. Sousuke let a small smile slip. "I like to tell you what to do and I like when you do it."

Makoto swallowed. Nodding was all he could manage again. Was it okay that he kind of liked letting Sousuke be the one in control? He hadn't really thought about it like that, he'd just-it was relieving to have something to fall against, let someone else deal with everything and just forget everything.

"I'd like to try role playing with you though."

In an instant the tender moment was over and Makoto was beet red. Sousuke of course just looked at him with that amused smile, watching every shade his skin transitioned through in the process.

Shifting his gaze nervously Makoto wanted to make sure, "you mean like, teacher and student? Or cop and prisoner?"

In answer, Sousuke just leaned in close again, his hand rubbing across Makoto's chest and lower to his abdomen. "Exactly Mr. Tachibana, now, what are we ever going to do about all those parking tickets?"

Makoto chuckled, mostly because he was amazingly nervous all of a sudden but half because, "parking tickets?"

Makoto had to admit he should have seen that one coming. Sousuke had liked watching Makoto squirm from the first time. It should have been expected he would think it would be hot to tell Makoto how 'very bad' he'd been before exacting authority over him to get a punishment, which mostly involved watching Makoto squirm some more.

Sousuke raised his brow as he shifted enough to look Makoto in the eye. "Oh? Are you confessing to more Mr. Tachibana?" He promptly nuzzled his way in under Makoto's ear. "I didn't know you had it in you."

Laughing again was all Makoto could manage, but an arm slid back resting across the Sousuke's lower back. Maybe getting comfortable with Sousuke wouldn't be bad at all... Maybe Makoto could make this work...

"Yamazaki-kun..." Makoto said quietly.

"Excuse me?" Sousuke's hard glare was back as he turned and pinned Makoto with his hard expression. "Is that how you refer to law enforcement?"

Maybe this could be fun... "Officer Yamazaki," Makoto corrected too embarrassed to look up.

"Hmmmnnn," Sousuke hummed, "Officer Sousuke?" He asked with another smile, it was less amused more-content? Hoping?

Makoto managed to look up. "Sou-" his mouth tested out the name.

But he never got to finish as startling both of then there was the scrape of the door leading into the pool.

Sousuke was the one to act first, grabbing Makoto's swim cap and goggles, passing them off to him before he unceremoniously shoved Makoto back into the water.

When Makoto managed to surface again, tossing his head to get his hair off his face. He looked up to see Sousuke's staring at him nonchalantly as he spoke.

"Your turn around times are still holding you back. You need to push off of the wall sooner. That second you hesitate is going to give your opponent a second to catch up."

Behind Sousuke, Rin approached, hands in a hoodie jacket, wearing a plain tee underneath and track pants. he peered down at them both.

He signed exasperated. "The last thing I need is you encouraging him, Sousuke." Rin whined his eyes glancing at Makoto treading water and then back to Sousuke. "He already over practices! Don't make it worse."

Sousuke shrugged. "He's embedding bad habits with out a second of some kind." Sousuke turned then to better face Rin. "What are you doing down here?"

Rin just sighed again. "Trying to find you. Your dorm room was empty," he gestured to the two in the water. "Now I know why."

Makoto drifted towards the edge where he pulled himself up enough to rest his arms over the cement ledge. Makoto noticed that though he was trying to look at ease, Rin had a bit of-he looked a twinge annoyed, though Makoto couldn't understand why. Maybe it was all of the swim time he had been putting in. If Makoto did end up getting hurt it would be under Rin's leadership so could be looked at as Rin's fault, or at least partially.

Pushing up onto the ledge, Makoto stood, dripping water on mostly Sousuke. "Rin's probably right." He looked down at Sousuke. "I have been pushing pretty hard lately."

Sousuke hummed an agreement, standing as well. He tossed a towel into Makoto's face before speaking. "Go get dressed,"

Makoto ducked under the towel, managing it from Sousuke's grasp, using it to dry off his hair as his wet feet slapped on the tile on his way to the locker room.

"You've got quite a change of tune since lunch today." Rin commented as Makoto entered the locker room.

Sousuke shrugged. "I tried your idea. The intervention went smoothly, I've got him on a 12 step plan."

Rin rolled his eyes. It was a second before he commented again. "You kind of hang out with him a lot."

"He needs a lot of work." Sousuke gave the comment off handedly. "Like I said, if I'm not around he'll just keep producing bad habits."

"Not everyone is shooting for the stars." This time the comment was a bit more digging.

Sousuke looked over this time, making sure his eyes were glaring into Rin. "You've still got a goal for the moon and back.. Right?"

He saw it, that flash of half a doubt before Rin smiled at him. "'Course. Sheesh. Lay off a little. You're a bit of a drill Sargent at times."

Sousuke just hummed, looking over at his best friend. He could see it, Nanase's pathetic philosophy of water and balance and all that stupid shit clouding up Rin's thoughts. They weren't spending all that much to time together, but Sousuke had no doubt every weekend he went home Rin and the fish fryer spent plenty of time harmonizing.

Makoto walked out of the locker room and Sousuke couldn't help but notice the contrast of the boys in the room.

Rin had enough natural talent going all the way to the top wouldn't take half as much work as it would for Makoto. If he spent as much effort on his dreams as Makoto he'd take nationals with out a bat of an eye. A sun so freaking bright he could shadow everything else near him. Rin would have so much opportunity falling at his feet. All he'd have to do was pick a direction and he'd soar ahead of them all.

Then there was Makoto, dreamless and though he had the build for swimming, the power in his shoulders to make him good at backstroke he wasn't all that talented. He was only making leaps and bounds because he spent every free second in the water. But he was still-directionless. He couldn't even seem to come up with a vision of his future himself. He was dim, not a blaze of light leaking from him, not much glimmering of hope. Those hours spent in the pool were perplexing Sousuke, but it was becoming clear it sure wasn't so Makoto could leave the competition in the dust.

And coming in last was Sousuke. He let a sad smile show. He'd already reached his peak and burned out from it. He'd streaked across the sky in glory and was already on the descent. Who even knew where he'd end up.

"Come on Rin," he bumped Rin's shoulder as he turned to the doors, "come hang out with us for a while."

Maybe if Rin rubbed off on Makoto he could get him to at least realize his own existence. Or maybe Sousuke could could feel what it was like be on fire again for once.

* * *

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See you next swim time! Stay cool, don't sniff pixie sticks-it hurts... Totally not from personal experience.


	7. Chapter 7

Sousuke sighed. Nitori's drive was-enthusiastic-but this was all starting to get on his nerves. Walking into the locker room well after practice, Sousuke pressed his lips into a thin line at the sight of Nitori there in the locker rooms, slumped over his knees, sitting on one of the benches. And...he was crying. Right. Now what was Sousuke supposed to do? The kids times event getting any better and prefecturals were next week. There wasn't any magic that Sousuke could work to make that better.

There was the slap of feet on tile behind him, startling both Sousuke and Nitori to both look up. Makoto stared up through that cinnamon hair. He locked eyes with Sousuke, and then looked past him to Nitori.

The boy let out a hiccuped whine before he quickly stood starting to stammer off apologies.

Makoto looked to Sousuke, who just shrugged. What the hell was he supposed to do about this?

Not saying a word, Makoto gave one of those fond smiles to Sousuke that weren't exactly often before he slid past him to Nitori.

"Makoto-senpai-" Nitori stammered off.

"Nitori-kun." Makoto said as he leaned down and sat on the bench. "Is something wrong?" He asked as he ducked his head to try and look Nitori in the eye.

Sousuke furrowed his brow as he watched, a bit unsure.

"It's-it's nothing." Nitori said looking down at his shoes.

Makoto just gave a slow nod. He watched for a moment before reaching behind him, he leaned a hand against the bottom lockers and reached up to snag a Gatorade from his locker. He offered it out to Nitori after breaking the seal.

"Here," he said as he gave a smile. "You've been practicing a lot, you should stay hydrated."

That fucking legitimate angel! Sousuke shifted, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the door frame.

Nitori hesitated before taking the electric blue Gatorade. "Th-thank you, Makoto-senpai." He mumbled before tipping the bottle to take a drink.

All week, Sousuke had realized just how fake Makoto's face was. He forced smiles at every turn, the mask of, "happy go lucky Makoto" was so full of bull shit Sousuke wasn't sure how everyone else couldn't tell. Even his most neutral of face was controlled into a blank vacant stare. Nothing about him was real until Sousuke started pulling off his cloths. Though he couldn't say he'd gotten much of a real smile yet.

And yet... This time it wasn't a cultured and primed face that he gave Nitori. He wasn't sincerely happy, but he was sincere as he smiled at Nitori again.

Makoto let out a chuckle. "You've almost been practicing as much as I have." He leaned his elbows down onto his knees. "You've got a lot of heart."

Nitori just looked down at the Gatorade before sliding off the lockers between him and sitting next to Makoto. "I'm - I'm not making the progress that you are though."

That was an understatement. Sousuke kept that to himself though as he watched. Makoto's times were exploding. Half the time he spent in the water now usually ended up with Sousuke-well he wasn't coaching. He was giving him a few pointers. There was always things that only someone outside the pool could see was going on. It would be more surprising for Sousuke if Makoto didn't qualify.

Makoto watched Nitori as he smiled that oddly sincere some again and spoke quietly. "You know- that's not all me though." He glanced at Sousuke. "It's my third year, I've got a lot of support helping me through it." He laughed. "You were there last year. I wasn't all that fast even just a few months ago."

Nitori didn't look all that comforted. He looked down at the Gatorade between his legs. "Yeah, I guess."

Makoto looked at him, before bumping his shoulder. "And I can clearly see you really love to swim. It'll all click together soon."

Nitori nodded, unconvinced.

"Rin has noticed too you know." Makoto went on. "There is a reason he changed the rules for the relay this year."

Nitori looked up at Makoto at least this time.

"If Rin thinks that passion matters that much," Makoto smiled. "I'd say it's worth quite a lot."

It was slow coming but Nitori smiled, the back of his hand wiping away the last of his tears. "I guess you're right."

Humming, Makoto he tugged at the Samezuka jacket on Nitori's shoulders. "And you've got a great team backing you, Nitori-kun. I've no doubt you'll be improving a lot this year."

The smile was easier and quicker this time as Nitori nodded.

Makoto stood, stepping over the bench to his locker, toweling off his heir. "You'll do great. Passion can be incredible when you apply it."

Nitori gave Makoto another small smile as he stood. He bowed, as he called. "Thank you Makoto-senpai."

Makoto just smiled back, ducking his head at Nitori before turning back to his locker to pull out his boxer briefs and a shirt.

As Nitori skittered out of the locker room, he kept his distance around Sousuke, ducking out of the way. Sousuke almost barked at him on the way just for fun. But instead he let his arms lax at his sides turning to Makoto getting dressed.

It was a tad bit surprising. Sousuke had thought with daylight hours still out Makoto would be staying to practice a few more hours. At least that's what he usually did.

But Makoto didn't even seem to be acknowledging that Sousuke was there. He dressed with a brisk business like attitude it seemed, his eyes avoiding Sousuke as he pulled on trousers before pushing his swimsuit into his swim bag.

Sousuke went to his own locker a few feet from Makoto's. He pulled on a shirt, watching the boy next to him. He looked away as he ducked his head into the shirt.

"Are you going back to the room?" Makoto abruptly asked. He was sitting on the bench behind them. He wasn't looking at Sousuke, but he wasn't looking at anything else in particular. He'd closed his locker, his bag next to him on the bench.

"Yeah." Sousuke answered short as he glanced back behind him. He pulled on boxer briefs before a pair of sweatpants over.

"You know," Sousuke started, not quite sure how to go about it. "That was-" he couldn't quite bring himself to look behind him, but he knew Makoto had looked up at him. "I'm glad you can talk to him like that." Exactly, so Sousuke didn't have to deal with it. Not like it was one of the sweetest things he'd ever come across or anything.

Makoto chuckled behind him. "Well a pep talk from you might have broken Nitori in half."

Sousuke did glance behind him this time as he pulled his own bag from his locker dropping his swimsuit in.

Again, the mask of-almost total apathy was pulled on over Makoto's expression. What little that moment of sincerity had afforded him, was gone as he pulled the strap on his bag over his shoulder and stood.

Sousuke slipped into his shoes and grabbed his jacket, pulling it on before lifting his bag over his shoulder.

As they walked up to the room, Sousuke didn't say anything for a long while. It wasn't until they were almost to the room that he looked over at Makoto.

"Do you love swimming, Tachibana?"

Makoto looked up a little startled. They'd come to their room, and Makoto had been the one to reach into his pocket and dig for a key. He used the seconds distraction to look away first, just giving a simple, "uh..."

As he got the door open, he let Sousuke in after him before giving a quiet. "I'm-not like I used to."

Sousuke hummed, putting away his stuff as he entered the room. "That was certainly a lot of big talk then about heart and passion."

Makoto shrugged as he dropped his own things next to his desk. "I believe it. I mean I really do think passion can make a big difference. Rin isn't wrong in wanting to promote it among our team."

"But you can't say you love swimming." Makoto jumped as Sousuke surprised him, coming up behind him, probably a bit too close as he spoken.

Nervously wiggling around to face Sousuke, backing up to lean against the desk he gave an unsure frown. "I like swimming." His eyes shifted to his hands. "I don't know, I just-I used to swim for my friends and my team, and I wanted to win and I wanted at least a shot at competitive swimming, and now-" he shrugged. "I guess I just like swimming." His voice got quieter, eyes still not lifting to look at Sousuke. "I like that it's mind numbing. I can't really think about anything else if I'm in the water. I have to make sure I keep breathing, keep pace, concentrating and it just kind of clicks into this mode where-I stop thinking about everything and I just am swimming."

"Mind numbing? That's what keeps you in the pool for six hours a day?" Sousuke just wanted to be sure he was hearing it right.

Makoto just gave him one of those fake, 'I'm silly but happy' smiles as he pushed off the desk brushing past Sousuke as he continued around to the front so he could retrieve his laptop from his front drawer. "I guess maybe, yeah."

Sousuke found himself wanting to wind an arm around Makoto's middle-like in a hug... Maybe. Instead he just pocketed his hands, letting the subject drop as Makoto started the climb up to his bed. He opened his mouth about to offer that they could both do homework on Sousuke's bed, but it was probably for the better he just shut his mouth.

Makoto gave him one last desperately sad smile before he opened his laptop, pulling on his reading glasses. Sousuke signed as he went to his own desk to start digging out his homework.

* * *

Sousuke came to a halt just inside the dorm's court yard. He smiled as Rin slid in next to him huffing and bending to put his hands on his knees. Somehow the Saturday morning jog had turned into an all out race between Rin and him in the last lap back to the dorms. Not that it was a bad thing, it was Sousuke's favorite part about his relationship with Rin.

"Ughhh," Rin whined next to him. "I should stop saying yes to these."

Sousuke gasped out a laugh, "not my fault you never learn."

Rin looked at him, giving him one of those absolutely beautiful smiles. Sousuke couldn't help but smile back. He'd made the right decision staying at Samezuka that weekend.

Sousuke sat down on one of the steps, to be joined by Rin a minute or so later. When they had managed to regain their breath Sousuke realized he'd been staring at Rin for far too long and oddly enough Rin had been looking back. Looking away Sousuke scratched at the side of his face.

He'd been so occupied with Makoto every few minutes doing something else stupid or-getting on his fucking knees for Sousuke, that Rin had almost been a side not. Then the second they had a few moments to be best friends again-Sousuke could feel the fire in him breath to life again. His eyes moved back to Rin. Letting his head rest back, his long pale perfect neck was stretched back, his silky hair a bit sweaty but very attractive the way it fell away from his face.

Sousuke looked back away.

"According to Nitori," Rin said, tipping his head just enough one of those beautiful red eyes could look at Sousuke. "You saw Makoto work his magic the other day."

"Yup," Sousuke said not thinking as he watched a drop of sweat roll down over Rin's neck and over his shoulder. Just one minute-Nitori could have no idea how fucking awesome Makoto was at a blowjob-"wait, which magic?" Sousuke furrowed his brow as he looked up at Rin's face again.

"The fact he's the best person in the universe." Rin clarified.

Oh right, that. Sousuke looked away. "Yeah. He's kind of a legit angel."

It took Rin a second but then he asked, "what were you thinking of?"

Makoto on his knees, mouth open and tongue out as Sousuke slid the top of his dick into that wet warmth, saliva dripping from Makoto's chin and those lush green eyes hooded, but still looking up at Sousuke. "Nothing, roommate thing." Sousuke mumbled.

Rin laughed next to him, looking down at his shoes. "He's always been like that." He took a deep breath. "It really surprised me when he came here."

Sousuke's head shot up. "Huh?"

"Well, it's not like Makoto usually does things for himself like that." Rin said with a shrug. Then said the real thing he'd been thinking. "Especially since he left Haru to do it. It was-the only selfish thing I've ever seen him do and-at least when it comes to me and Haru, the most selfless thing I think I've ever seen him do."

At this point, Sousuke wasn't sure if he was all ears or if he wanted to duck tape Rin's mouth shut.

When the hell had he started to-when had Makoto become so fucking interesting to him. Because important was the wrong word. Such a stupid fucking wrong word. And yet then there was all the things he had going on In his head every time he looked at Rin or got one of those great smiles... Makoto,s smile had been nice. That real one, the one he'd let Nitori have. Sousuke couldn't really say he didn't kind of want one, to keep for himself.

"You know," Rin said, still looking at his shoes. "I'm really glad you're here too."

Sousuke smiled, nodding. Course. He was Rin's fucking best friend,

Rin was quiet for a few more seconds, Then the second bomb dropped. "I think I love him."

"Makoto?" Sousuke didn't say that like he was ready to fight! No, definitely not! Sousuke face shot to look at Rin.

"What?" Rin spouted clearly almost chocking on his own words. "No!"

"Good." Sousuke felt his eyes narrow.

"What?" Rin shot back.

"Nothing." Sousuke quickly brushed it all under the rug, of 'elephant hiding under a sheet in the room, but we're not going to talk about it.' Why did he do that? It wasn't like.. He didn't care... It was just Makoto -that fucking legit angel Makoto!

Sousuke wanted to burry his face in his hands. But that would have been admitting defeat so he just looked straight ahead, taking a drink from his water bottle. Totally not looking guilty.

Rin laughed then, that amazing sound bringing Sousuke back. The sun hit Rin's eyes just right and as Sousuke turned back to him he couldn't help but smile as ruby red eyes lit up. And god damn Sousuke was having one fucking off day as he was lost in half a second. Rin was always just so-bright. Everything about him was like running into the sun and it made Sousuke want nothing more than to lean in...

"-Haru" Rin had also been talking, while making Sousuke think he was the eighth world wonder. A flaming, beautiful, blazing wonder...

"Sorry?" Sousuke said finally shaking it off to look at his best friend.

Rin just laughed again. "You really don't like him, do you?" Rin leaned back on his side, looking distant and dreamy and then said. "I really think I do love Haru though."

Sousuke was pretty sure his heart stopped. No. That wasn't the right description. It felt like it had just froze over. His breath left him for a second as his insides turned to ice and snow. He knew it wouldn't last long, just that brief moment before it would flow in to a burning wrath he couldn't control very well.

But until then he'd have to clamp a hand down on the ice and pull on a smile. Which is exactly what he fucking did!

Sousuke pulled on the best possible smile he could, chuckling. "Dolphin boy does have a nice ass." And nothing else. Not a drop of anything else to offer Rin.

Rin was the fucking sun. And even if Sousuke could feel as he himself was burning out, he'd be damned if he let anything dim Rin's beautiful flame.

Rin laughed, leaning farther back, laying across the sidewalk, his arms under his head as he looked up at the sky. "I just told you I think I'm in love for the first time and all you have to say is , he's got a nice ass?"

Flashing a smile, Sousuek wasn't sure he could bare to do more than glance back at Rin, looking firmly ahead. "Priorities," Sousuke said as he took another drink from his water bottle.

That chuckle was-what Soueuke didn't want to hear. He looked down at his shoes. He concentrated on breathing.

"I'm not sure what we are gonna do, you know in the future with college and all that, but..." Rin smiled looking so blissfully happy. "I can't wait for it! He's so great. He just doesn't know it and I know we can make it work out..."

His eyes glazed over while he spoke of Haru. It was like he was seeing a dream. Sousuke could relate. He felt like he was looking at light in its purest form every time he glanced Rin's way. And the way Rin was lit up now, like he was so fucking high and he was never going to come down. He was so bright, so happy as effortless smile after effortless smile came to his lips as he talked about Haru.

But wasn't that what people in love were supposed to look like? Isn't that what the feeling of finding someone so perfect, finding a soul so breathlessly beautiful was supposed to feel like? Wasn't it supposed to feel like a rush and like time had stopped all at the same time? Wasn't it supposed to be bright colors and soft kisses and tender whisperings?

Sousuke trained his eyes on the cement. If that was what it was supposed to feel like, then why didn't it feel like that for Sousuke? Why did he feel like Rin had his hand around Sousuke neck and every time he opened his mouth Sousuke wasn't sure if he was going to breathe new life into him, or spit needles at him? Why did he feel like the way he looked at Rin was like carrying a cement block on his shoulders? On his pathetic, broken shoulders...

In a breathless rush, Makoto's words came back to mind, from the night they'd fought. "...clinging to someone so tightly he was pulling them under the current with him..." Right. A sinking horrible feeling like that.

"I better get back up to the dorm room," Sousuke suddenly heard himself say.

He must have interrupted Rin because those ruby red eyes looked startled as they turned to Sousuke. "Huh?" Rin sat up.

Sousuek was already standing, his limbs felt stiff and heavy, but he wasn't sure how much more he could get through and not-he couldn't destroy this for Rin. Sousuke, he almost choked on his own thoughts, his hand even coming up to his throat. He hated that stupid little black-headed twink! But he loved Rin too much to destroy this for him.

So he was just gonna have to work it out.

"I thought we were hanging out today?" Rin said. He frowned. It was a bit expected. With the swim team and school and everything, they hadn't had all that much time to focus on being best friends in the same school for the first time in years.

Sousuke managed to pull on a smile. "We are going to!" He wasn't giving up an entire day with Rin for anything. "But come on," Sousuke pulled his sweat-soaked shirt away from his neck, looking down at it with a sour face.

Rin chuckled. "Yeah I guess you're right. We should have jogged later tonight like usual."

Sousuke just hummed. Tossing his water bottle at Rin before he started off. "I'll text you when I'm out of the shower."

Or at least after he'd worked a few things out. He needed something to get him through the day and he had a very good idea what would work best...

* * *

Okay ambushing him right after a shower hadn't been Sousuke's most brilliant ideas, but hey he was already naked!

Sousuke wrapped a hand around the back of Makoto's head, pulling him into a kiss as he cornered him against the desk. His skin was still wet from the shower, his hair dripping as Sousuke slid his fingers through it. It was amazing how every time they did this Sousuke found himself more and more attracted to Makoto.

After recovering from the shock it took a second but Makoto raised his own hands, one resting at Sousuke's side, against his hip bone and the other coming up to Sousuke's neck.

"Nehh!" Makoto let out against Sousuke's lips. Clearly a bit surprised it didn't stop Makoto from kissing back.

Sousuke could just leave it at that though as he started to roll Makoto's bottom lip between his teeth tugging playfully with a growl. He had planned on just a quirky, slamming Makoto over the desk and nailing his ass across the top, but now that he had Makoto's taste back in his mouth-Rin could chill on his own for an hour or so...

Sousuek let Makoto have his lip back, with a look and a preditorial smile against the boys already flushed lips.

Makoto didn't pull back, speaking into Sousuke's mouth. "I thought you were gone." He sucked in a breath. "When I got up and you weren't here I figured you went home."

"Nope," was all Sousuke said before lurching forward to bite his way back into the kiss.

"You're sweaty..." Makoto said quietly as Sousuke broke the kiss to start trailing down his neck.

"Mmmmm," Sousuke hummed as he found an ear. "I was running with Rin," he tugged at the ear lobe at the same times hitting back to the bed.

Makoto nodded and followed back to the bed. As was per usual he let Sousuke push him face down. Sousuke also pulled the towel away, presenting him with Makoto's wonderfully smooth bare ass. He could feel his insides heating up, it was finally hitting him. Rin was in fucking love and there was nothing Sousuke could do about it. His jaw clenched as his expression twisted wrathful.

He let his hands run through Makoto's hair. He looked a bit too comfortable, his eyes hooded and head resting forward on the bar across the side of the bed. Sousuke crawled up the bed, before yanking Makoto's head back. He just held him ther as Sousuke dipped his head and tasted Makoto's neck and shoulders again.

"Hands to the bar." He whispered in Makoto's ear.

With a short nod, Makoto extended his hands, both grabbing at the bar in front of him. Sousuke slid off of him and went to the closet, digging around before he found a belt. He tugged Makoto's hands closer together, wrists touching before he looped the belt around them then around the bar, fastening the two together before flicking the clasp on the belts end.

"Can you move them?" Sousuke asked as he removed his shoes, pulling off his socks as well.

Makoto tested his binding out, tugging at them. He flexed his fingers trying to wiggle out, but in the end they stayed put. "Not much. I could probably slide them along the bar, but they're not coming off."

"Good," Sousuke said as he stripped his sweaty sleeveless shirt off and wiggled out of his track shorts.

He climbed back on the bed and this time he had absolutely no desire to tease much. He seated himself back on Makoto's legs and squirted lube in his palm, slicking up a few fingers before reaching up to Makoto's ass.

Makoto jumped at the cold touch, looking back, and clearly a bit confused. Sousuke crawled back over him. But his hand stayed at Makoto's ass, he rubbed against the puckering hole before pushing the two fingers in.

Makoto shivered underneath him. His forehead rested on the sheets, up on his elbows still, making his shoulder blades hunch over him.

Sousuke bent down, kissing at Makoto's nape, running his teeth over the peak of his spine. He leaned forward just enough to speak at Makoto's ear. "Different rules this time around."

He worked his fingers in particularly fast, digging in and up against Makoto's prostate. He was still beautifully sensitive, gasping and his back arching into Sousuke writhing with the action. His head lifted just slightly and Sousuek saw those lush green eyes as they glazed over. It took so little to make Makoto start moving into him and grinding did seem to be their favorite way to fit together-well so far.

"I'm going to fuck you." Sousuke went on. "Except now I want to hear every little whimper and whine from you." He nuzzled up against the back of Makoto's neck.

"Uh," Makoto let out his eyes opening as tried to breath evenly.

Sousuke made sure his hand made that harder, curling and fucking and teasing at Makoto's insides. "Yeah?" Sousuke asked punctuating it with another thrust in.

"Nhhnnn," Makoto bit out, just barely getting the sound out, he closed his eyes, swallowed and then tried to speak again. "It's not even noon, on a Saturday."

"Yup." Sousuke smiling, kissing Makoto's nape again. "Bit too early for your indulgence?"

Makoto shifted under him, laughing. "No it's-there are still a lot of people in their rooms."

Sousuke leaned in again this time right against his ear. "I want to hear how much you really like what I do," he pulled his fingers from Makoto's ass smoothly, running them slick up to his tailbone and tracing against it. "Or I make you suffer."

Those green else's were still a bit unfocused as Makoto licked his lips. "I don't-" he took a deep breath, Letting his head drop back between his arms.

Sousuke shifted away. Was this-maybe Sousuke was pushing too far. He slide up on to an elbow, "hey," he started.

He was unfortunately started as Makoto looked up and kissed him, leaning over almost to his side to manage it. Sousuke let a growl hum through the kiss as he bit back into those ripe red lips.

"Alright," Sousuke hummed next to Makoto's lips. He slide back against Makoto, this time letting his dick slide up against Makoto's ass. He leaned up feeling the rush of arousal, exactly what he wanted. It was shaking through his limbs and making things so much easier to deal with.

He smeared another gooey gob of lubricant at Makoto's entrance before he returned his fingers. He pushed two in, thrusting shallowly.

The first real sound from Makoto slipped out then, a gasping whimper. Sousuke reached around and under him stroking at his cock.

And in the next second they were moving together, Makoto rocked back into Soususke hand and Souske leaned forward over Makoto. It was a bit disjointed Maktoto rocking just a bit out of time as Sousuke added a third finger, doing less to make him moan and stretching him.

Makoto still gasped as he moved and Sousuek felt-he wasn't even sure like he was so present in the moment and so not even there. He let his eyes hood as he rest his forehead against Makoto's shoulder and moved with him.

It was slow at first as Souske removed his hands and slide forward, he kissed at Maktos shoulder whispering something-he wasn't even sure what, but Makoto's own eyes were closed and he was whining, shifting his shoulders and turning his head to nuzzle into Sousueks hair. They both gasped audibly as Sosusuke finally slid in. The breathless whine Makoto let out was intoxicating as Sousuke slowly rocked forward, pressing in a bit more every forward thrust.

Then when it all clicked together they must have both felt it. Sosusuke hands wondered, and Maktos eyes closed, his breathing becoming ragged and they moved. It wasn't frantic just effortless, sliding together. Souske realized one of his hands was up at Makoto's neck, not caging him, just tracing along his throat, directing his head back so Souske could lean forward and claim his mouth in a brief kiss.

Sousuke wasn't sure he'd even wanted this till it was happening, they moved and ground into each other, pulling at each other to be closer, nuzzling at each other and whining and cooing into each others skin. It was like a haze was slipping through Sousuke and it felt amazing, like the world was fuzzing away and in return he was finally on the same perfect wave length as another person.

Makoto let out a bit of a louder cry, tugging at his hands so hard it shook the bed and Sousuke let out his own growl slamming back into Makoto. It was exhilarating both of their chests heaving as Sousuke clawed at the sheets and pulled his arms around Makoto.

"I said I want to hear you," Sousuke choked out as he started to really slam into Makoto jolting the frame of the bed every time.

Makoto's green eyes were so clear and so deep as he blankly stared ahead, nodding as he let a whining moan dribble from his open mouth.

He got his wish as Makoto dipped his head, "uhhhhhnnnn ahhhhh!" He let out as Sosusuke pound into him.

Soususke hands kept moving over Makoto, at one point Sosuke was pretty sure he was pumping Makoto off and then the next he'd realize his was threading one hand through Makots hair and then another a hand was extended out. He looked up at this, seeing his hand smooth over Makoto's bound ones, his fingers threaded through Makoto's and startled green eyes looked up at their locked hands as well.

Then it was hitting through Sousuke, so fucking unexpected he let out a strangled cry, "nnnauuuhhh!" His senses dimmed and then exploded, white exploding behind his waking eyes and he clutched as tight as he could to the boy underneath him.

* * *

"You're really different when you're mad at me versus when you're mad at-him." Makoto said from the bed. He was still laying back, his eyes closed and hair a mess. The sheet was over his waist, but legs haphazard and arms facing out, naturally fallen away from him.

"What?" Sousuke said sitting at the edge of the bed. He was just recovering, having pulled on his boxer briefs. he was getting ready to find a shirt and pants to shower. Glancing down at the sheets it would probably be better if he washed those too.

Then again his head still buzzed with what had just happened between them. He hadn't-that hadn't been planned. He thought he was frustrated. Sousuke thought he came up here to make Makoto beg at his feet, to feel a bit more in control of his life and it would all be good they could move on from there. But god damn what they had done instead-looking down at his fingers they were still tingling. It wasn't even the orgasm. The orgasm was certainly awesome, it always was but that's not what it had even.

He looked back to Makoto. He had to be feeling it too. He was speaking to Sousuke freely, not the usual nervous sputter of curated words. And God his skin looked so perfect, so smooth. Sousuke could still fucking taste it, feel it. And not only that it felt different, every time with Makoto felt different but this time-he had this twinge like he'd brushed up against something really remarkable.

Makoto didn't open his eyes just hummed, but it was enough bring Sousuke back as Makoto spoke, "when you do me, it's different depending on who you're mad at."

He sounded so nonchalant about it. Like maybe-maybe he really didn't care about what they did. It was a bit of a hit to Sousuke that he didn't expect. He furrowed his brow. He was still a bit curious. "How?"

Makoto smiled, "you're more forceful when it's me. If I make you mad you barely talk to me, just take what you want. You don't care what I do then as much." He shrugged. "If it's someone else, you like control more, and to tell me what to do."

"Huh," Sousuke huffed. He was a little-he didn't want Makoto to... "I don't- I mean," the other night it had been easier to out and say it. "I don't hurt you right?"

Maktot laughed then, almost mockingly, finally opening his eyes as he pushed up on an elbow to face Sousuke.

Sousuke felt his throat constrict as his brow lowered, "tachibana, I thought I made myself pretty fucking clear-"

This time Makoto's eyes went wide and he raised a hand, "no no!" He started quickly. He shook his head as Sousuke died off. "It's not like that," Makoto gave him a look, like it should be obvious. "You-you're a lot nicer person than you think."

"What do you mean by that?" Souske mumbled. He wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands then.

Makoto smiled that sad smile at him, the one Soueuke never understood but wanted so bad to figure out what the hell had caused it. "You take care of me, Sousuke." Makoto made very strict eye contact. "You could just leave right after, I wouldn't blame you," his voice cracked a bit. He swallowed hard before going on. "You stay every time, you make sure I'm okay, you make sure I'm not a mess. You've been doing that all along and it only intensifies when you're mad at me." He laughed. "When you're pissed I can't have barely two minutes alone."

Sousuke looked at Makoto, and found himself wishing that that sad smile was -a real one. It wasn't the one he wanted and he wasn't sure he knew how to change it. He leaned back on his elbow.

"It's not a bad thing," Makoto said after a moment of silence between them. "You don't take care of me half as much as you take care of Rin."

"What's that mean?" Sousuke shot out. Hadn't it been very clear Rin was an off limits subject?

Makoto let another sad smile pull on. "Nothing bad." He looked really sad this time. "The two of you are best friends and you dropped everything to come back here for him. If that's not taking care of Rin I don't know what it is."

Sousuke didn't say anything as he just listened.

Makoto looked away to the sheets. There was another long moment neither spoke before Makoto said something. "It's a really great thing to have a best friend like that, it's not a bad thing to want to do everything you can for them." He shook his head. "I don't know if there is anything in the world better than a friend like that."

Sousuke cocked his head. It was just another glimpse through the cracks, a look at what ever the hell it was that made a mess out of Makoto.

That's when there was a pounding on his door.

"Shit," Sousuke breathed, completely forgetting that he'd promised Rin he'd text him once he was showered. "Rin. "

Sousuke stood. Running a hand through his hair, he sprayed on more cologne than necessary and pulled on pants on his way to the door, rethinking he tossed Makoto some boxers.

Makoto just looked amused as he caught the boxers and slipped them on. He didn't bother getting out of bed, just flopped back amused. Sousuke rubbed on another shot of cologne just for good measure. He might not smell like his jog that morning, but Sousuke was pretty sure smelling like sex might be worse.

Adequately no longer scandalous, Sousuke opened the door.

"Whys it locked dude?" Rin asked as he stepped in. He wrinkled his nose as he stepped closer to Sousuke. He looked at him a bit dubiously. "I thought you were gonna text me!"

"I was!" Sousuke affirmed as he side stepped to get a shirt. He pulled something out of the VERY FRESH pile still even in the clean laundry basket, wasting no time in pulling it on. "I just got out of the shower. I was just getting dressed."

Rin stepped in, took a side long look at Makoto laying back, head under one arm and already snuggled up under the sheet. He was still so clearly fucking amused.

"You're having a late morning I take it." Rin chuckled as he flopped back on the bed.

Makoto shrugged. "I figured I could take the morning off."

Rin just hummed as Sousuke collected his things from around the room, finding socks and shoes and his wallet and -right, his belt was just right there next to Makoto's head. He snatched the belt from the bed, getting one of those looks from bright green eyes as he did so.

"Isn't this your bed Sousuke?" Rin seemed to suddenly remember.

Something told Sousuke, mostly experience, that Makoto couldn't lie, it seemed physically impossible, probably because he was an angel... So he took over on this one. "I lost a bet with him. He get's my bed for the weekend." He sighed. "I had thought I was gonna go home so it wasn't like I would lose anything, till you begged me to stay," he tossed Rin his jacket and Sousuke finished with his shoes.

Rin caught the jacket and chuckled. "You never win bets."

"Apparently not," Sousuke affirmed.

Rins brow furrowed. "You bet your bed?"

"I'm really bad at bets." Sousuke said monotone hoping that would answer the question. He grabbed his wallet and went to the door. "We going?"

Rin hummed as he stood up and right in front of Sousuke again. His nose wrinkled as he made a face. "That's- new colongue?"

Sousuke looked back in mock offense as he opened the door. "What? You don't like it?"

Rin took another sniff leaning closer. He shook his head as he leaned away. "No." He said it very frankly as he strode through the door.

Looking back to the bed one last time, Makoto had pulled the sheet up over him and was snuggled into Sousukes pillow. Sousuke stifled the urge to step forward and kiss Makoto before he left. Instead he did lean forward enough to hook the bottom of the sheet and pull it from its wrinkled mess out and over Makoto's feet.

As he did, Makoto's bright green eyes opened as he gazed at Sousuke. It wasn't exactly happy, but it was-satisfied and just a bit knowing. Right, taking care of him again.

"Hey!" Rin called from the hall, "let's go!"

Sousuke gave Makoto a wave before yelling back, "I'm coming!" He closed the door behind him and followed after his best friend. He wasn't sure if he managed to clear his head or make it worse.

* * *

Yeah that's right, at the first there y'all's were probably like, which sports anime is this for? Love swimming? What?

See you next water time.

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	8. Chapter 8

Practice had been canceled and Rin was-out. That just left, Sousuke looked over and sighed. Makoto had been sitting at his desk all after noon, doing his freakin' homework. He hadn't really even said anything to Sousuke all day.

Not that Sousuke had prompted much. It had gotten quiet between them since the last time. They talked, but not really. It was about nothing, the most meat talking being at practice when they would actually interact. They didn't avoid each others eyes, if anything Sousuke found himself looking at Makoto all the time, and those green eyes would flick towards him and then there was that shocking thread, so small just it would jolt through Souske and he'd remember everything they'd done last time, the honey smoothness of Makoto's skin and how it felt pressed up into Sousuke. He'd catch a glimpse of Makoto's lips and think about how he'd tugged at it before they'd gotten on the bed.

He hadn't left Makoto really since then and Makoto hadn't really avoided him at all, they just trailed after each other from class to class. To breakfast and practice and Makoto had even wordlessly started following Sousuke to the gym. Not talking was somehow not even bothering him then. They waited for each other in the locker rooms, they sat across from each other at lunch.

It wasn't even about the fucking - it was some strange - Sousuke hated it.

And now he was sure as hell getting tired of the not talking thing! Sousuke had been trying to read but every few minutes he just looked over and Makoto was just sitting there.

"Let's go to the pool," Sousuke said in a gruff voice.

Makoto looked up, glancing back behind him, his green eyes connected with Sousuke in one of those looks... It was like they were dancing around each other and it was fucking annoying.

"I'm pretty sure that Rin had the doors locked." Makoto said. "I think he's pretty serious about wanting the team to take the day off."

Sousuke sighed.

Makoto just chuckled. "It makes sense. Everyone's exhausted them selves trying to get ready for prefecturals. He wants everyone to be less sleep deprived and more ready to race."

Sousuke sat up from his bed. He hadn't bothered with a real shirt when he'd gotten out of the shower, donning one of his sleeveless running shirts. It didn't seem important anymore with- them, being what ever they were, what ever that was. It was more than roommates, but not exactly lovers and yet fuck buddies was the wrong label too. He leaned against the ladder to Makoto's bed. His eyes glanced around their room and of course circled round to land on Makoto.

Makoto adjusted his reading glasses, caught watching Sousuke in the reflection of the glass of his open laptop. The screen was black since Makoto hadn't touched it in a while as he scribbled down on his homework instead. Sousuke flashed him a smile and Makoto flushed, Sousuke could see it in the way his ears went red, and looked back down to his homework.

Those reading glasses, didn't look half bad on him. Sousuke kind of wanted to take them off, maybe with his teeth.

He surged forward, leaning down low as he hit Makoto's desk, making sure they were at eye level with each other. He smiled as Makoto gave him a questioning look. Makoto gave him one of those fake smiles back in return.

That mask was so much more visible all the time it felt like to Sousuke. But seeing behind the cracks was also easier all the time, and those few moments after they'd screwed each other that last time, there hadn't been any mask, no act pulled on because Makoto wasn't trying to be anything.

"You have homework to do too, you know." Makoto said as he glanced at his notebook then back to Sousuke.

Sousuke hooked his own desk chair with his foot and drug it over to sit next to Makoto. He shrugged as he filled out in the chair, leaning ever closer to Makoto. "I kind of like doing you more."

Makoto laughed this time.

Sousuke smiled. He looked back at all the stuff on Makoto's desk. Scratching at his head he tried to figure out exactly what did Makoto do when he had free time. All his books were for school, the laptop that every time Sousuke had seen open just had the schools assignment engine up. Once and a while Makoto had Pandora or Spotify up, but he always plugged in headphones before Sousuke could even hear a note or two.

Was this really the only things Makoto brought with him? The essentials?

"Is there something I can help you with, Yamazaki-kun?" Makoto asked. He looked over at Sousuke but didn't move to push him away.

Sousuke just shrugged, before asking. "What do you do, you know for fun?"

Makoto's brow furrowed and he shook his head. "Swim?"

"Yah right," Sousuke blew that answer off with out a second thought. "Come on really. Since you've been here all I see you do is swim and do your homework, and neither with an exactly convincing smile."

That mask was so fucking visible, Sousuke thought as he looked at Makoto's expression.

"Maybe because I really like to swim, though it is hard to smile while doing so." Makoto said, trying the answer again.

Sousuke just snorted. "You've already told me you don't love it. I don't understand why you do it but you certainly don't come back overjoyed after your water logged afternoons."

Makoto finally sat back, letting his pencil down on the notebook. "You're right," he gave a fake smile. "I let you do me in my free time."

It was Sousukes turn to laugh this time. Only because it was partially true.

But there was something-that sadness in Makoto was leaking out this time. Sousuke had managed to relax him and finally he was getting a bit more of a peak into those green eyes, a real one. That vacant, distant glaze he usually pulled up seemed to peel away with just enough pressure.

"What made you press the restart button, Tachibana?" Sousuke suddenly asked.

Makoto backed up immediately, his back going ram rod straight as he sat up, away from Sousuke. "What are you talking about?"

Sousuke gestured to the desk. "You left everything at home. You never go home. I haven't seen you on your phone more than a couple times. You don't really call your parents. you don't call friends. I'm not even sure you have a Facebook." Sousuke looked at Makoto a bit to the side. "That doesn't sound like you're throwing everything out the window and starting over at all."

This time green eyes didn't look up at him.

Sousuke sighed. "Come on just give me something. Fun? Everyone likes to have it, mind telling me what you do for it?"

This time green eyes peaked up and Souske knew he had him. He gave an easy smile, resting his folded arms on the desk as he looked to Makoto.

"You're going to think I'm weird." Makoto gave a wry smile. "And laugh."

"I already think you're weird." Sousuke let his chin rest over his folded arms. "but I'll try and contain myself for you."

Makoto just continued to look at him. "You know there's plenty of space, like on your bed or over by your desk."

Sousuke just smiled. "I like your desk." He raised a brow at Makoto. "Well?"

"Alright." Makoto said looking back down, and sitting back in his chair. "I like plants."

"Plants?"

"Yeah."

"You mean like gardening?" Sousuke connected.

Makoto just nodded giving that small smile.

"Well then why don't you have any in here?" Sousuke pressed on. "There's the window, I'm sure the seal is wide enough you could put a couple or so there."

Makoto turned his head to look. "Uh, yeah I-I guess I could put something there."

"Like tomatoes?" Sousuke asked.

Makoto laughed. "Not inside. Fruits and vegetables need bees."

Sousuke hummed. "Right, that pollination thing." He watched Makoto before suggesting, "but maybe some flowers?"

There was less sad this time when Makoto smiled at him.

Looking across Makoto's desk, Sousuke saw the framed photo Makoto had at the edge, picking it up gingerly to get a better look. "Who are these two?" He asked.

The smile was gone in a split second, and Makoto's expression softened, but in such a-it wasn't a good way. He didn't look away from the photo as he spoke. "That's my little brother and sister, Ren and Ran."

"They're cute," Sousuke tried out. He was watching, hoping that he didn't manage to over step. Something about this made it seem-

"They're dead."

Sousuke set the picture down, freezing.

Makoto looked distant as he stared at the photo. "It was last fall." He sounded-hollow. And surprisingly he went on, though in quite a different way, like he was on autopilot or as if he wasn't really fully filtering himself. "I was with them and it's not like Iwatobi is all that big and I-I wasn't watching and they ran across the road."

Sousuke swallowed watching as Makoto's chest heaved suddenly. "Ren was dead by the time I got there. Ran lived for about an hour after. She screamed most of that hour. ...Sometimes I forget it's stopped and I can still hear her some times, in my head."

There was a second Sousuke was pretty sure he could hear his heart beating in his ears.

Suddenly Makoto looked at him and Sousuke sucked in a sharp breath. Makoto's blinked rapidly his mouth open and he wasn't crying but he was so close-and for possibly the first time Souske didn't see a single layer of masks. He'd wanted to peel it all away and now that he saw it- Makoto's eyes shown with the most painful depth and his mouth moved like maybe he was still trying to call for help and he just-he looked so vulnerable.

"I'm-" Makoto started. He abruptly stood quickly taking several steps back. "I am so sorry." He held up his hands. Sousuke was still trying to figure out if it was in defense or surrender, as he himself stood slowly and Makoto went on. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry I just-"

He looked down at his hands before turning away and Sousuke surged forward. But once he reached him he wasn't sure what he had been thinking he was going to do. He opened his mouth to say something and he wasn't even sure what to say.

"I'm so sorry." Makoto said again shaking his head. Sousuke could see over his shoulder that he was shaking just slightly. He looked like he was about to drop.

And surprisingly Sousuke held out a hand, feeling like he could maybe catch him...

Makoto turned back around then, his vibrant green eyes down caste, looking like they were trying to find something but avoiding looking at Sousuke at all costs. "I'm so sorry." He was calmer as he said it this time, pulling in some control. "I never meant to say those things." He closed his eyes. "You didn't need to hear those things. I don't know how-I didn't mean to-I just was all of a suddenly saying them and I don't even know how."

Sousuke licked his lips, still unsure what would help. "It's fine."

"But it's not!" Makoto shot back. His hands went up to his face and he started rubbing at his eyes and cheeks, it was a scrubbing motion.

It frankly looked painful and Sousuke instinctively reached up, grabbing Makoto's hands and pulling them away.

In the next second Makoto was ripping his hands away from Sousuke. "Stop," he said briskly. It was honestly the most anger he'd ever seen out of the precious boy.

Makoto swallowed, his face starting to move back into a vacant apathetic stare. "Please," he murmured quiet. He looked down before gulping in several big breaths. "Can we please, just-just pretend I didn't say those things." Makoto closed his eyes again for just half a second squeezing them so tightly shut before he sighed and opened them. "Please, just forget I said anything."

Sousuke looked down at him, not sure what to do and shifting from one foot to the other nervously. "I'm not so sure..." he said a second later

"Please," Makoto cut in. He looked down at his feet again before looking up, he wouldn't quite meet Sousuke's eyes but he looked to his chest. "You're the only one who doesn't look at me-just please forget that I said any of that. No body else treats me like I'm still- just me."

Sousuke wanted to laugh. He'd been treating Makoto like he was some sort experimental genie pig.

"Makoto," Sousuke tasted the name on his lips, testing out of he really felt like he wanted it. He shook his head. "I don't know if I can pretend..." How in the world was he supposed to forget something like that?

"Please," Makoto pleaded again. His eyes flicked up finally to look at Sousuke. "You're the only person that when I'm with, I don't have to remember anything that happened last fall." He looked away again. "Please, you're the only island I have here."

It took a minute before Sousuke could really process but in the end he nodded. "Alright," he breathed out slow. "I can try and do that."

Maktoto looked away again but nodded. "Thank you," he murmured.

It was a few more seconds of silence before Makoto spoke again. "Can we go try and see if the pool is open?"

Sousuke nodded slow. "Yeah." He sighed. "It's not hard to sneak in through one of the windows if its not."

With a small nod Makoto, whispered again, "thank you." He turned away, heading straight for his swim bag.

* * *

Makoto was exhausted. Dripping wet, he sat at the edge of the pool looking down at the water as it glistened in the limited light. He didn't think he could manage to swim any more. But he was so close to the threatening hollowness In his chest. It felt like he'd scraped across the inside of his chest with a wire brush when he'd realized what he'd said to Sousuke earlier.

Sousuke hadn't said much since that time.

The doors had been locked, but Sousuke showed Makoto that one of the windows on the side of the building was always a bit loose and with a bit of prying, the lock would click and Makoto had wasted no amount of time hoisting himself up and into the indoor pool, Sousuke fast on his heels.

Makoto had stripped as he strode towards the water, having already pulled a swimsuit on in their dorm, he left a trail of cloths as he padded up on to the starters platform and dove off with out a word behind him to Sousuke. He wasn't even sure what happened to Sousuke as Makoto plowed through the water and started swimming so hard he was gasping by the time, several dozen laps later, he reached up to the pools edge and and finally stood up. Sousuke was sitting on the edge of the pool a lane over, he just looked at Makoto for a second before growling about his turn around times again.

Now Makoto felt a shiver run through him as he sat at the edge of the pool. Sousuke had seemed to disappear and Makoto wasn't sure if he wanted to go try and find him or not. He gulped down several breathes of air and tried to calm his mind.

He hadn't voiced what he'd just told Sousuke to anyone, not his parents, not even-not even his best friend.

Maybe he would have if everything hadn't all changed so fast. Haru hadn't been there but sometimes it felt like he had been, like Makoto had kneeled there helplessly as everyone important in his life bled all over his hands and slowly, painfully died.

Abruptly he felt something dropped over his shoulder and Makoto looked over to the black jacket flung over his shoulder and arm. Next to him, Sousuke stood casually looking out at the water.

Makoto pulled the jacket off his shoulder to see that it was a Samezuka jacket, and on the front his name was embroidered over the school patch on the right side.

"You transferred so suddenly Rin told me the school had to back order your jacket." Sousuke said. "It's been sitting in the store closet for a good two weeks now," Sousuke gave Makoto a significant look.

Souske looked back to the water. "I figured I better dig it out and make sure you wear it."

Makoto looked down at the jacket, running his hand over the smooth fabric under his name. "Thank you," he murmured to Sousuke.

"Yeah," Sousuke said. He hunched down next to Makoto and sat at the edge of the pool as well. Their shoulders brushed but Sousuke nor Makoto commented.

* * *

It was occurring to Makoto how much more formal Samezuka really was compared to Iwatobi as he got off the bus, standing next to Sousuke neatly in rows as the underclass men filed in behind them.

Since he'd-said way more than was appropriate to Sousuke, he was glad that not much had seemed to change. There was still a quietness between them. It had been quiet between them for a few days anyway, though it was more of a sensitive silence now. Makoto was aware of Sousuke watching him more often than not. He still gruffed at him when they did speak, he still growled and his general irritation seemed present.

It was something Makoto found himself grateful for. It was just every now and then, he'd catch Sousuke looking at him and it wouldn't be irritation, arousal, or that amused knowing look. It wasn't quite like the look he received from his friends. It wasn't the sympathy. But it was enough that Makoto would look away quickly.

"Makoto," Sousuke hummed next to him. It was just to get his attention, just enough to get him to look up as Rin spouted off the schedule for prefecturals.

That was another small change. He was no longer, 'Tachibana,' to Sousuke. It hadn't really been proceeded by an agreement or anything, but ever since two nights ago, Sousuke had casually started addressing him. It was still said like a bear growling and spiced with just enough distain Makoto at least knew it came from Sousuke.

He looked up, a bit nervously, peering around his teammates to spot Iwatobi standing near the door. He quickly looked back to Rin.

When the team was dismissed, Makoto turned his back to the front, not sure what he could do to get in with out being noticed.

"Come on," he heard the low threatening growl next to him. Looking up Sousuke was hunched over him and Makoto leaned away, his face was so close. The glare that was looming over him didn't look like one Makoto wanted to contradict.

"R-right," Makoto said a little nervously.

Sousuke turned, watching Makoto as he started towards the building..

Not seeing how he was left with much choice Makoto followed, sighing out of relief as he glanced up to see Iwatobi had already gone in as well.

* * *

Getting Makoto to keep up had only seemed to get harder as the tournament progressed. Sousuke had grabbed Makoto by the jacket twice to keep him from wondering off.

Sousuke was satisfied that his jacket was fitting perfectly. Though Makoto kept pulling at the collar anxiously. He'd shift nervously from one side to the other and by the time they mounted the bleachers Sousuke was feeling like a good shot of tranquilizer was probably the best option.

The idiot frowned as he stepped even farther behind Sousuke as the first heat was setting up below them. Souske pushed Makoto out, away from him with a huff.

"Would you two quit it!" Rin shot back at them. "Damn it all, I thought you two had stopped squabbling all the time!"

"He's acting like an idiot today," Sousuke said matter-of-factly.

Makoto didn't deny it, just gave an exasperated look to Sousuke.

Rin rolled his eyes and looked back to the heat, talking with Mikoshiba who had come to watch.

Makoto stepped away from behind Sousuke finally, once Sousuke had jabbed him in the side. He looked a bit more uncomfortable than he had thus far. Sousuke leaned over the railing as well to see a bright-eyed boy with blond hair eagerly waving up at them.

Turning, Sousuke watched as Makoto pulled on a pleasant and seemingly warm smile as he waved down at the excited boy.

Sousuke couldn't help but smile either as he looked over at Makoto.

The heat started and as the underclassmen of Samezuka started in on the cheers, Sousuke looked to the tournament.

The breast stroke was over in a flash and Makoto smiled as he blond boy climbed out of the pool vibrating with his win. Sousuke snorted as he glanced at Nitori's times. Makoto looked up at the times in prompting and sighed.

"He tried his best," Makoto commented. "That's all that we can ask from him."

Sousuke couldn't stop the unimpressed look he wore. As much as Rin babbled on about passion and dreams to match Makoto's ballads about hard work and support of your team, Sousuke still didn't see much use in being so positive about it all. No progress made and no win to show for it, counted more than hard work or heart or whatever in his opinion.

But he looked over at Makoto and ruffled his hair, pushing him gently towards the entrance. "It's your turn, pop tart."

Makoto didn't resist the playful jab as he smiled back at Sousuke.

"Come back with a win for us, Makoto!" Rin called to him.

"Hai!" Makoto nodded as he started to the locker rooms.

* * *

Pulling himself up at the starters block, Makoto breathed slow though his lips. He hadn't been through a real race in so long his limbs buzzed with it. He felt the water lapsing at his sides. He closed his eyes, letting the motion lull through him.

This is why he clung to the water. The gentle, perfect motion of the water, the way he could just be in it, let it surround him and just float away into it.

He took one more breath, opening his eyes.

The starters flare cracked over head!

Makoto on instinct more than anything leapt away for the block, arching through the air and letting the water catch him as he speared through it. His legs moving in powerful strong kicks to shoot him through the water.

As he surfaced, he took a breath and his eyes almost slipped closed again as he raised his arms and carried himself through the water. As he approached the other end of the pool, he flipped in the water, letting the current help turn him. He placed his feet before he rebound off of the wall and was soaring through the water again.

It seemed to end so fast. He almost felt like it never happened. His hand tapped down on the wall and he gasped for breath, chest heaving from the exertion as he stood there. It took him a second to realize the race was over and he glanced up at the score boards.

First flashed his heat, 1st place Tachibana Makoto.

Then his over all, Makoto breath stalled for just a second as he cocked his head at the score board.

He had managed to place 2nd overall.

* * *

As he returned to the bleachers, Makoto was a bit startled as Sousuke waved him over to a seat next to him.

"Yamazaki-kun," Makoto murmured as he approached. Heats for Butterfly stroke were already starting below, Makoto even spotted Rei mounting the starting block.

"Why are you still here?" Makoto murmured as he sat next to Sousuke.

Sousuke just smiled at him for a moment before answering. "I'm not competing in individual here."

Makoto's brow furrowed unsure. If Sousuke didn't compete here he couldn't just jump in at Regionals.

"Don't worry," Sousuke turned back to the pool. "I'm in the relay tomorrow."

There was a strange look in Sousuke's eyes as he looked away, Makoto furrowed his brow as he looked over at him.

When Makoto finally did look away to the pool his eyes skimmed over the bleachers. He ducked his head as he caught sight of Haru. He was looking back at Makoto, expressionless as usual but he didn't even look to Rei's race as the staring flair sounded.

Makoto shifted his eyes away and unfortunately noticed Sousuke was watching him. Like always. Caught between the two, Makoto's only choice was to look back up to the pool and watch the race.

* * *

Unfortunately Sousuke seemed to make it his initiative to keep Makoto close.

"What are you doing?" Makoto asked as he started on his way to the locker rooms after lunch.

Behind him, Sousuke hummed in acknowledgement. He sighed before answering. "I'm making sure you don't get lost."

Makoto snorted though smiled. Out of the two of them, Sousuke was quite a bit more likely to lose his way,

Makoto stopped at the entrance to the locker room, turning to face Sousuke. He gestured to the door. "I made it. Thank you for your guidance."

"Is that sarcasm, Tachibana?" Sousuke asked, a smile tugging at the side of his mouth. "Seems someone is starting to take cues from a bad influence or two."

"Course not, Yamazaki-kun. Though if you need, I'd be happy to draw you a map of how to get back to the bleachers." Makoto let the joke slip, in as level a voice as he could.

Sousuke snorted a laugh, before he looked to the little plastic label marking the locker rooms, he reached forward and picked at it. "Free style isn't your best." He commented in what seemed like an off handish way, "you did really well in backstroke, I don't see why you're here again."

Makoto frowned. It always seemed no mater how much Sousuke picked at him, he still kept going. Sighing Makoto tried to pull on a smile. "Don't worry about me." He adjusted the Samezuka swim bag just a bit on his shoulder. "I've got some personal reasons to be here. Once they're dealt with I'll back off."

Sousuke just nodded. It was a moment before he spoke. " 'Kay. Your turn around time still needs work, so watch it out there. You were faster this last time but-"

"Makoto,"

The interruption caused both Makoto and Sousuke to look. A few feet away Haru stood, looking a little stunned as he watched the two.

"Haru," Makoto said out of surprise and greeting. "Uh hi,"

"Hi," he said back. He looked to Sousuke then Makoto again. "Are the two of you-?" He pointed to the locker room.

"Just me," Makoto said while pulling on a smile. "Yamazaki-kun was just giving me some pointers." Makoto looked over at Sousuke meaningfully, "he was also just going back to his seat."

Sousuke hummed to mark he heard Makoto but he was looking at Haru, and certainly not nicely.

"Nanase," he grumbled before looking to Makoto, "Mako," and turned away to start his way back to the bleachers. He, of course, went right past Haruka seeming as if he was meaning to push his shoulder into him, side stepping only at the last second.

Makoto shook his head before turning back to the locker room, continuing in. He knew it wasn't exactly polite but he went straight to a locker, opening it to lift his bag in and started to pull off his jacket.

"Makoto," he heard quiet next to him.

Makoto looked into the shadows of his locker for an extra second before he looked up at Haru.

"I-" Haru started, watching Makoto. "You did really great in your last heat."

Pulling on a smile was harder than expected, but Makoto mangled it. "Thank you, Haru. That means a lot coming from you."

Haru gave a small nod before he looked away, pulling the locker next to Makoto open. Makoto gave a small sad smile before he pulled his shirt up and off.

"Do you and Yamazaki hang out a lot now?" Haru asked abruptly, taking off his own shirt.

Makoto looked over at him, but Haru wasn't looking back. It seemed the distasteful feelings were mutual between Sousuke and Haru. Makoto folded his shirt to place it in his bag as he spoke. "Uh yeah. Kind of, I mean we are actually roommates so I do end up spending a lot of time with him, yes."

"Rin told me you two actually get along pretty well." Haru went on as he continued to get dressed. "He was kind of surprised you two made such good friends." It didn't sound like Rin was the only one surprised either.

Makoto chuckled as he dressed himself. "He can be a bit off-putting at first but it's not always like that once you get to know him." He looks down at the Samezuka jacket he'd set on the bench behind him. "He can actually be quite kind."

Finished, Makoto closed his locker and pulled the Samezuka jacket back on. When he straightened all the way, he turned and found Haru looking at him. He had on his own Iwatobi jacket. His oceanic eyes ran over the black jacket, pausing at the name embroidered on Makoto's right side.

"Haru," Makoto said quietly. He couldn't pull on a smile this time, he didn't want to disrespect his best friend with something so fake.

Haru's eyes flicked up to Makoto's face.

"Don't hold back." Makoto made sure he made eye contact. "Please, respect me enough to race for real. And give it your everything."

Haru's mouth opened like he was going to say something but instead he just nodded.

"Thank you, Haru." Makoto said and this time he let his sad smile come to his lips.

Not sure if he could hold it together much longer, Makoto didn't wait for his best friend, and he stepped around him and to the door.

* * *

This time looking at the starters block didn't fill him with excitement. Makoto instead stripped off his jacket, glancing up at the bleachers. Rin was watching, and so was Sousuke, leaning over the railing and making eye contact with Makoto, giving him a nod.

Makoto gave a polite smile back before he pulled on goggles and the swim cap, stepping up to the starters block.

His limbs felt almost stiff, he was aware of Haru glancing at him, on the block next to him. Makoto looked back letting a small smile be pulled to his lips before looking back to the water, bending to get into position.

The starters gun sounded and Makoto leapt into the air.

He felt like he was crashing into the water this time, his heart pounding already a second or two into the race. But determined he pushed through it, surfacing on the water.

A part of him had always known. Even if it wasn't completely conscious he had always known. But-then again it hadn't really been about anything other than the experience.

It was over in a flash though, like being caught in a typhoon Makoto slammed into the wall of the finish line. He braced himself up against the cement, his head hanging. He heaved against the wall, feeling that hollowness, the scrapping feeling, like he was being scoped out, all tearing through him. He squeezed his eyes so tightly shut, pulling it all together before he straightened and looked at his best friend.

He gave a sad smile, not even trying to hide anything from him this time.

Haru's eyes were so beautifully blue. So perfect. He looked at Makoto with such- Maktoto couldn't even bare to recognize it. He just kept that sad smile on as he looked at his friend.

In another world, maybe things would have all worked out, they would have all been fine maybe, but this time around-at least for Makoto it hurt to see everything he'd lost too much. He'd need this farewell as much as he'd needed to press restart on his life.

"I lost,"he breathed out at Haru.

His friend just stared at him, not even glancing up at the score board. They both knew after all.

Chapter end

* * *

Well that was-depressing.

Soundtrack for this old chap: Stones Throw Away, Bronze Radio Return

Also, from here on out will be the beginning of actual substance to the story. The first third or so was basically a nice set up, I needed to establish Sousuke and Makoto as a thing (largely sexual but hey they at least talk!) and now we set in for the deep shit. Also from here on out most chapters will have a soundtrack. I could have done that before, but basically all the songs would have been, "SEX!" with some possible rhythm and auto tuning involved.

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	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Sousuke ran into him on the way back to the locker room. Surprisingly enough he grabbed his arm, pulling him down one of the dark hall ways out of the way from anyone else.

"I know," Makoto said in a quiet tone. "My turn around times were taking too long-"

Then Makoto found himself holding his breath as Sousuke hooked an arm around his neck and pulled him into an embrace. He breathed in at Makoto's neck seeming to inhale Maktoto's essences.

"You did great." Sousuke said before pressing a kiss to Makoto's neck. It was a sweet, lingering kiss, bringing a blush to Makoto's face.

Makoto remembered to take a breath again and lifted a hand to Sousuke's shoulder. He sighed and closed his eyes for half a second before Sousuke pulled away.

"Come on," Sousuke said, still very close to Makoto. "Rin's up next."

He stepped away and started for the pool again. Maktoto looked after him. He swallowed, not sure if-

It felt like, like maybe he wasn't wandering alone any more. Makoto would like that, even if it was just the weird what ever it was between them.

He stepped up and followed after Sousuke.

Put line here

Everyone was all smiles by the time that they were filing out of the building. Rin laughed with Sousuke up ahead of Makoto and they joked like usual. After taking second against Haru, Sousuke had punched Rin in the shoulder, telling him he did a good job, but next time a win would be nice.

Makoto liked watching the two of them interact. Sousuke seemed to be so much more relaxed when he started to spend time around Rin.

Outside it was rather bright and Makoto shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked across the parking lot, which was when he saw him first, but by the time he really realized it, Haru had snagged the sleeve of Makoto's jacket, tugging at him insistently.

Haru must have approached from the side of the building. He still looked around a bit uneasily as he took a step closer to Makoto, "can we talk?" He asked quietly and bluntly as ever.

Makoto glanced at everyone getting on the to the bus behind him. It had also been ages since he'd even given Haru a text. And it had to be lonely, even if Haru had Rin now. It wasn't like the bus was his only way home any how. If he missed it, the train station wasn't that far away.

So a bit reluctantly Makoto nodded. "Yeah, Haru. We can talk for a few minutes."

Haru nodded before walking towards the side of the building, tugging Makoto by the arm with him.

As soon as they were back away from where anyone else could see, Haru finally let go of Makoto's jacket, he still stood a bit close to Makoto though.

"I've missed you, Haru." Makoto said with a sad smile, looking down at his friend.

Haru nodded. "Yeah-it's been really different with you gone."

It was quiet for a second, neither really knowing what to say.

"Rin has been saying you two are doing really great!" Makoto said. "He's really happy with you Haru."

Haru just nodded this time.

"I wanted to tell you," Makoto tried another way. "The Iwatobi team looks great. I'm so happy you guys found a couple of new swimmers!" And it wasn't a lie. He was happy for Iwatobi. When he'd left it had felt so-he'd felt like he was abandoning them and he was so very glad that things were working out for Iwatobi.

"They're alright." Haru commented.

Makoto glanced back behind him, the bus was probably all loaded at this point. And he wasn't sure what else to talk about with Haru.

Though the real reason was that he could feel it in him already. The slow approaching ache that stemmed from feeling like he was hollow. It wasn't over threatening, it was just a talk with his old best friend, but it was the first time since-since the two of them had parted ways...

Makoto closed his eyes as the memories flooded back. Now he was really in for it if he didn't shut this down fast.

"Haru," Makoto said looking down. "The bus is leaving, I have to-"

"That stupid cat won't leave the stairs outside your house." Haru interjected.

Makoto's eyes widened as he looked back up and Haru was looking-no, glaring at him. His face set and brow low he looked at Makoto with a very set expression of almost anger.

"It just sits there every morning," Haru grumbled. "By now, you'd think it would learn that you're never coming back but for some stupid reason it's still just sits there."

Makoto closed his eyes before pulling in a breath and opening his mouth-though for one of the few times in his life he wasn't sure what to say.

"Haru," was all he could really settle on.

Put line here

Sousuke stood next to Rin as he looked over the roster, counting heads. "Someones still missing." He murmured with a sour look on his face.

The rest of the team was seated on the bus, chattering amongst themselves. Sousuke scanned over the faces trying to pin point exactly who wasn't with them-or more precisely wasn't being pulled along by Sousuke.

"Makoto," Sousuke said, turning to look at Rin.

Surprised, Rin looked up to scan over the seats was well. "That's not like him..." Rin mumbled to himself. "And we need to leave."

Sousuke straightened a bit more. "I'll go find him."

Rin looked at him like that was the worst decision he'd ever made. "Right, so I should send the one who can't even manage to hold a map the right way to find the one that's lost." Rin sighed, and folded the roster under his arm. "I can go." He frowned though as he said it.

"Let me." Sousuke said. "you've got captain stuff to take care of anyway once we get back," glancing at the team. He looked back out to the parking lot. "It's not like me and Makoto can't catch the train."

Rin looked over at him before giving in. "Alright. You seem to keep track of him best any how." He sighed as he signed off on the roster. "Go find him, and drag him back to Samezuka so I can yell at him."

Sousuke chuckled before shifting to the stairs. "See us back there." He said as he stepped off the bus and started back to the building.

He could try the locker rooms first maybe. They were so close to Iwatobi if possible Makoto could have just gone to see some old stomping grounds. Though judging from his behavior up until now, Sousuke doubted that was the case.

He pulled out his phone, sliding past the lock screen to open his messages. Makoto's name was third on his list after Rin and an automated reminder about-for a doctors appointment. He opened it up and typed out a quick message, asking where he was.

As Sousuke pressed the button at the top of his phone to get it to lock he glanced around again, wounding if maybe Makoto was back at the pool. If his obsessive behavior was anything to judge from that was more likely than in the locker room. Glancing to the side of the building, it looked like the side walk lead back, maybe a bit of a short cut to the pool.

Sousuke shrugged, Makoto would probably text him back here soon, he was pretty prompt about it usually. The side walk way was all shaded by several trees too, so he might as well give it a try.

Sousuke pocketed his hands as he started back under the shade and around- he froze as he heard-

It was Nananse. Sousuke gave a long stride forward enough to peer around one of the tall trees and under brush to see who exactly was back there.

He was met with the broad back, a jacket inscribed with 'Samezuka,' and topped off with cinnamon mess of hair.

Sousuke considered quickly whether to intervene or not, but then Makoto was speaking and Sousuke sighed back to lean against the tree. Listening in wasn't dignified exactly, but-he could let Makoto deal with his shit, and be right here so they could go home when he was done.

Put line here

For the first time, maybe for quite a long time, Makoto felt no urge to explain himself. He just closed his mouth swallowing. This wasn't his farewell. He'd already given that, in his own way.

Haru's expression did yield a bit as he looked down. "You're mom asked me about you." He looked at Makoto's chest. "I couldn't really answer her with anything."

"I'm sorry, Haru. She's worried and no matter how much I tell her not to, she doesn't stop." Makoto said quietly.

"Maybe if you came home..." Haru said moodily.

Frowning Makoto reached up to Haru, ghosting a hand over his cheek as he tucked a strand of hair away from his face. "I'm sorry,"

Makoto stopped looking into those perfect ocean blue eyes. It was so easy to get lost in them. Everything he'd ever wanted was there, staring back at him. He wanted to fall into him, like falling into water. He'd always be caught there, be able to drift with the current-but drifting led him right back-

"I can't, Haru." Makoto said. His frown deepening as he starred at his best friend. "Please don't ask me to do that."

Haru's deep eyes just stared back at him for a few more seconds before he spoke. "Why did you enter the freestyle race today?"

Makoto pressed his lips together, shaking his head, a sad smile peaked through. He could feel how close he was to breaking and it was cloying at his throat. "I wanted to swim with you."

Haru shook his head violently. "That's not what it felt like."

"I'm sorry," it was all Makoto could think to say.

"Stop saying that!" Haru hissed at him. "It's not your fault."

Makoto shook his own head feeling as the first tear streaked down his face. "No, it's not. But I'm still so sorry."

"What did you want from today?" Haru asked. "Why did you swim today?"

Makoto felt like his throat was closing, like his breath was being pulled out of him, choked out in a strangling of the hollow nothing he had left inside. "I needed to say goodbye."

"No!" Haru hissed in a sharp voice. "You're still my best friend. I told you! I told you." He hung his head. "Nothing can change that."

Makoto closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I can't be who you need." It was all he could manage.

"Come home," Haru said. His voice sounded hoarse. "I-I fucking feel so lost with out you." He struck out, grasping onto the front of Makoto's jacket, "take this off! And just come back."

Taking his hand gently, Makoto tried as tenderly as he could to pull Haru's hand free, taking a step back in the process. "I can't." He repeated.

Haru was frowning, his eyes down cast as he refused to look at Makoto.

"I'm so sorry, Haru." Makoto said one last time. "I know you don't understand, but I can't do it."

"You ran away." Haru said suddenly, viciously. "You ran away from everything that should have mattered to you. We could have helped. We could have made it better!"

"No," Makoto shook his head.

"You don't know!" Haru suddenly said in the loudest voice Makoto ever heard him use. "You never let us try."

"Please don't do this, Haru." Maktoto pleaded, he still had Haru's hand in his, and Haru had clutched around his fingers, refusing to let go.

"We could have been in this together-" Haru started.

"No." Makoto cut him off, looking down. He felt as his face was streaked again and again with his tears. He looked up at Haru so close to letting out a sob. "I'm not him anymore." He shook his head. "I feel like I died there with them. When I was holding my sisters rib cage together I felt like someone was scraping out my own with a pitchfork." He took one painful breath, choking on the tears still streaming. "I will always try for the rest of my life to be your best friend again, Haru, I can promise you that, but I am not him any more."

Finally Haru's grip had loosened looking at Makoto with those big wonderful, perfect blue eyes.

"I feel hollow all the time." Makoto finally admitted. "I'm apathetic. I get nervous at nothing. I let-I do things I know aren't right, for anyone. And that's just the tip of it all. You have no idea the person I've become. I won't put you through that. We are not in this together, and I would never wish that on you. I won't do that to you, or my parents, or anyone else." He took another step back, giving Haru the only sorrowful smile he could manage.

"You're right," Makoto swallowed. "I ran. I am sorry for that, but it was never because of you or anyone here." He took Haru's hand in both of his. "I miss you. I miss this, but I need to be lost right now. I can't really see any other way to find out what I am now."

He let Haru's hand go gently. "I have to go now." Makoto said. Because if he didn't leave now there was no way he would be able to pull him self together later. He wanted to hug Haru but he didn't, he just let him have his hand back as he turned away.

"Makoto," Haru spoke as he looked up.

Makoto looked back at him, shaking his head. "I can't go back, Haru."

Haru ran forward then, grabbing at Makotso hand and pressing something into it. "I know what you are," Haru said quietly. "You're my best friend."

With that he closed Makoto's hand and backed away, not looking at Makoto as he went back behind the building in the direction of the pools.

Makoto sighed as he looked after him.

It was almost not surprising as he turned around and Sousuke stood there. He didn't look out of the ordinary. Something Makoto was thankful for.

He walked forward with his same casual gait. He tugged his jacket sleeve up, and lifted it to white as Makoto's face. He cleared away any thing of the tears before his fingers ran up through Makoto's hair, brushing it up away from his face. Makoto blinked, not quite sure if he should speak, looking down instead. Sousuke brushed his hair away from his face affectionately again before his hand was pocketed again.

"Come on, scruffy, we missed the bus already." Sousuke said as he turned back to the parking lot, making sure Makoto followed.

Put line here

It wasn't until much later on the train back that Makoto had managed to piece everything together enough to remember that Haru had pressed something into his hand, seeing Sousuke afterwards, he'd just shoved it in his pocket.

Leaning forward over his knees, Makoto dug into his pocket and pulled the little trinket out, holding it in the palm of his hand.

In his palm, rested a small plastic blue dolphin.

Next to him, Makoto felt as Sousuke shifted in his seat, restless. He never seemed to take train rides well. He'd get restless with his arms, extending them to rest on the backs of the seats one minutes and folded over his chest the next.

This time they were down at his sides, hands in his pockets as Makoto looked up at him. He gave Makoto a crooked smile, looking up at Makoto to meet his eyes. He didn't say anything as he looked away ahead of himself.

Makoto's stuffed it back into his jacket and sat back. Souske shifted then, giving a grumpy expression as he extended his arms along the back of the seats. He didn't really put his arm around Makoto, but Makoto didn't care as he closed his eyes and leaned back into it, breathing out a sigh.

It was a few minutes before Sousuke said anything. "Were the two of you-?"

Makoto let his head rest back on Sousukes arm. "Yes and not really."

Sousuke looked over at him, looking for explanation.

"Maybe," Makoto said, letting himself look at Souske. "If Rin hadn't of come back." He pulled in a breath. "But once Rin's hurricane blew through there was no hope for me."

Souske's teal eyes searched over Makoto's face. "Did the two of you-ever try being together?"

Makoto gave a sad smile. He wasn't sure he could have this heartbreaking conversation then. But he felt strangely glad to tell someone, and that Sousuke had asked here, and not back at Samezuka.

"Haru tried for me," Makoto said. "Once after-I lost my siblings." He closed his eyes as he leaned into Sousuke's shoulder. "I just couldn't do that to him."

"Do you still," Sousuke seemed to have trouble thinking of the word.

Makoto looked up at him, if he had it in him, he would have smiled, but he was so far past that. The great Alpha Male Sousuke it seemed was uncomfortable when talking about relationships. When it came to sex there was clearly no limits, but the binding glue of it all seemed to be something Sousuke was having trouble articulating.

"Do you still think about him?" Sousuke settled on.

Makoto frowned. "Yeah." And it only made it all hurt so much worse.

Sousuke didn't say anything next to him. But he did rest his cheek on Makoto's head. Maybe because he felt like it for once. Maybe because he didn't want to push Makoto away. Maybe because he could relate to Makoto finally. Maybe because he felt sorry for Makoto. What ever the reason, Makoto didn't care as he closed his eyes.

Cradled against Sousuke's shoulder felt like the water, like he was being caught and held and allowed to just float there without having to worry about what ever came before or what ever might come after.

Put line here

The next morning, Makoto could feel the energy as they dismounted the bus for the second day of the tournament, and he was finding he actually, kind of liked Sousuke when he was getting ready to race. It was surprising to say the least. He was still hovering over Makoto every few minutes but he did it with out the glares and comments.

Not that Makoto could say-he found that though Sjouske was grumpy and easily irritable and abrupt and demanding, Makoto was getting better at dealing with him all the time. Or at least maybe just getting used to him.

The night before had been surprising after they had gotten back to Samezuka. Rin announced the relay line up and once they had gotten back to the door room Sousuke had very quietly congratulated Makoto on making it into the relay team. Makoto was maybe just more easily seeing through Sousukes grumpy exterior. It seemed at least that when Sousuke did speak to Makoto he was at least very sincere. He never lied to him, never polished over things, never made them out to be anything but what they were.

Sousuke wasn't glued to Makoto that day it seemed though. He was drifting towards Rin more since that morning, and it gave Makoto a bit of air to think.

He couldn't place how he felt about the impending relay.

As he opened a locker and pulled his shirt off, he hoped it was the right decision. He honestly had thought about giving up swimming at one time, but that had been only passing. With out swimming, he wasn't sure there would be anything left of him.

As they left the locker rooms Sousuke looked over at him. hHe looked ditermined and gave Makoto only the slightest of smiles before continuing out. Makoto had heard Sousuke and Rin talking together about winning this relay.

Makoto took a big breath. He didn't want to let any of them down, but he wasn't so sure anymore if winning even mattered to him.

Put line here

The feeling didn't get any clearer as Makoto lined up with his teammates. Of course Iwatobi had to be placed next to Samezuka. Rei still refused to look at him, while Nagisa waved at Makoto eagerly. Makoto was starting to believe there was next to nothing that could damper Nagisa's sense of Friend ship. Makoto waved back and when he lifted his eyes, and when he did was met by Haru.

There was a moment neither seemed to know what to do before Haru nodded at him. In return Makoto smiled as best he could, pulling on the goggles and swim cap and stepping into the water.

Backstroke was always first. The rest of his team was already lined up and waiting for him. ...and that's what it felt like, not like they depended on him like they were waiting.

He tried to shake of the feeling as he pulled himself up on the starters block. He closed his eyes and tried to get his head on straight in the last few seconds he had.

The starters gun fired.

And Makoto pushed off of block, but it was a second behind the other swimmers on the line and he felt like he couldn't get his limbs to work as he crashed through the water. He tried to push through, closing his eyes he tried to stop all the whirling in his head and before he knew it he was surfacing gasping do air, he rebounded off the wall and darted back under the water, it felt suffocating.

He hit the starters block still a half a second behind Iwatobi's swimmer. His teammate had been ready though and arched off the block the second Makoto hit the block.

Pulling himself out of the water he was met with Sousuke's eyes. Makoto looked away and just looked down instead. Standing there he closed his eyes, turning to watch as the breaststroke leg was coming to a close.

"Don't worry about it," Rin said next to him, though his tone didn't imply that's what he actually meant. Makoto could blame him.

He nodded next to Rin.

"Sousuke will make it up," Rin said next to him.

Right, like always. Makoto looked down, Sousuke was cleaning up his mess yet again it seemed.

Sousukes bound off the block, perfect form as always. His long body arched and his arms came up in perfect reaction as he darted through the water, slipping through the current and powering through the water.

Rin was right, against Rei, Sousuke over took him before he'd even started on his way back. Makoto caught sight of the smallest-Sousuke's face looked tense too tense as he brought his arms back around... There was just half a second, Makoto saw that he wasn't the only one in this that wasn't quite right. By the time Sousuke had touched down on the block, Samezuka was in 1st place.

Rin leapt into the water a seconds before Haru.

Sousuke turned immediately once he was on land, his eyes tracking Rin's progress.

It wasn't until Rin hit the block, in first, and was pulled up on land that Sousuke even looked at Makoto.

But Makoto was looking to the score boards. Both Samezuka and Iwatobi had qualified.

"What the hell was that?" Makoto heard from his side. He turned to see Sousuke.

He wasn't looking at him angry just like he was confused.

"I'm sorry," Makoto said. Something about the day just didn't feel right, and he couldn't figure out why. "That was my fault. I won't let it happen again."

Sousuje cocked his head at him. "You didn't-" he looked to Iwatobi then back to Makoto.

It clicked suddenly for Makoto as well. Maybe he did. And his insides felt horrible for it. When he looked back to Sousuke, unfortunately he was pretty sure his expression betrayed him.

Chapter end.

Soundtrack: Blood, The Middle East

Tumblr: .com


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

It wasn't until they were back that night that Makoto really had a chance to suss through the chaos of his head. The celebration of their victory had taken Sousuke with Rin for most of the after noon and into the night. It was a big step for the team. Makoto had declined, returning to the room on his own. He let his things drop to the floor as he entered the room. He collapsed on to Sousuke's bed, rubbing his hands over his face.

Had he really-? He cared about Haru, but doing that just seemed so out of his scope. Makoto laughed at himself. Right, like he even had a scope anymore!

He lowered himself to the floor. It for some reason didn't matter that Sousuke wasn't there, Makoto couldn't sit on his bed, knowing he probably wasn't into sharing at that moment with Makoto.

His head fell forward into his hands as he curled over his knees.

How had he gotten this messed up? Guilt was gnawing at him this time, chewing through his insides painfully. He felt guilty for leaving Haru, felt guilty for letting down his team, felt guilty for-for doing this to Sousuke.

Nothing he had with Sousuke was sincere! How could Makoto do that! God and all for a buzz that would last a couple hours at most!

He felt himself crying again before he could control it. He curled tighter around his knees, scrubbing at his face again. It wasn't his face, it felt like.

It wasn't his.

He wouldn't do this to the people around him,

How had he ever gotten to this point? How had he let what ever it was devouring him inside out have so much control? He shook his head before closing his eyes and blurring his face against his knees.

This wasn't him, and he hated it.

Put line here

Makoto woke when the dorm room door opened. Light spilled through the opened doorway, making Makoto blink several times as his eyes adjusted. He knew it was Sousuke and he rolled over in the top bunk, facing the wall. He'd crawled in bed way earlier then necessary and curled up under the covers hoping for nothing but sleep. There was nothing he could think to do about-everything, at least nothing in the immediate present. So sleeping seemed like the best option. He closed his his eyes, knowing Sousuke wouldn't really care.

Sousuke didn't turn on the light, just shut the door behind him. Makoto could hear him removing his jacket, sliding off his shoes. He sighed back into the bed covers, trying to clear his thoughts to sleep again.

He was suddenly jerked from his bed. Makoto's eyes flew open as he tried to steady himself, half hanging off the top bunk. He was made aware that Sousuke gripped his shirt firmly and was the only thing keeping Makoto from crashing to the floor quite a ways below him.

Makoto grabbed at one of the bars in the bed, balancing himself. "Sousuke-" he started.

"Let it go, Tachibana." Sousuek growled, deep and threatening, near Makoto's ear.

Confused, Makoto wasn't sure what Sousuke was talking about. He was abruptly jerked again, and Makoto let out a gasp as it felt like his arm was almost jerked out of its socket, and he very much realized what Sousuke wanted.

"Okay," Makoto said, slowly. He let go of the bar on bed, holding his hands up for Sousuke to clearly to see.

He was yanked all the way off then, his feet fumbling to get under him in time, as he fell from the bed.

Sousuke still clutched him from behind, pressing his chest to Makoto's back. "What the hell was that today?" He whispered viciously in Makoto's ear.

Unsure, if any answer would really satisfy him, Makoto just worked on standing, getting a good footing under him. He still held his hands out, making it clear he wasn't going to fight Sousuke. At this point it was a little bit ridiculous to try.

"Tachibana!" Sousuek hissed.

"I'm sorry," Makoto quickly got out. "You're right." He tried to comply. "I know it was my fault. And you have no idea how guilty I feel over it all."

"You have no idea what guilt feels like yet," Sousuke snarled.

Makoto was flipped then, coming to face the angriest Sousuke he'd seen to date.

"I thought I had made it very clear between us," Sousuke growled, his face dangerously close to Makoto's. "What ever the hell shit you had in Iwatobi stays in Iwatobi." Sousuke shook his head. "You don't bring it to this teams doorstep. You don't let it sabotage this year."

Makoto clutched at Sousuke's hands trying to keep them from strangling him if possible, he had at least that much strength left, though maybe not that much sense.

"I know," he said to Sousuke. "I know, I'm sorry."

Sousueks breathing hadn't calmed and he hurled Makoto against the wall. "You're fucking sorry?" He snarled. "Because of you, we were half a fucking second from not qualifying for Regionals."

Makoto braced himself against the wall behind him, holding himself ready for when Sousuke would come at him again. He didn't have to wait long as Sousuke crashed over him, bracing his arms against the wall at either sides of Makoto's head.

"I'm sorry." Makoto said again. What else was he supposed to say? "It won't happen again."

"No," Sousuke hissed. "It won't."

Makoto could feel as Sousuke drifted closer. "Damn it all, Tachibana." He growled as he moved his mouth it against Makoto's neck. "How the hell do I make you get your shit together?"

Letting his head rest back against the wall, Makoto could feel as his eyes drifted and his hands moved in to Sousuke's shirt. Sousuke didn't seem to like that though and with a gripping rough hold pinned Makoto's arms against the wall. He didn't kiss Makoto's neck like usual, just rested his head there, pressing into Makoto's skin.

Opening his eyes, Makoto licked his lips and blinked up at their ceiling. This wouldn't help anything. Using Sousuke like a sedative hadn't helped before and it wasn't going to help now. He was making it worse for Sousuke. If they hadn't-before the two of them had gotten all tangled up in each other Sousuke hadn't hesitated to really hurt Makoto and now he was hesitating. He'd left so he couldn't hurt his friends and finding a substitute to shove his problems off on to wasn't going to help.

Sousuke slid one hand away from Makoto's arm and down to the hem of Makoto's t-shirt, dipping beneath it.

"No," Makoto abruptly found himself whispering.

Sousuke either didn't hear or didn't understand as he slid closer to him. His teeth scrapped against Makoto's neck. Because kissing then would have been too sweet, mouthing, bitting seemed to make sense.

Makoto fisted his braced hand and with his one free hand pushed at Sousuke's shoulder. "No, Sousuke." Makoto said again. He tried to say it gently as he looked at Sousuke.

Sousuke looked up at him, cocking his head. He was still angry as his teal eyes glint in the limited light from outside the window. There was a moment that Makoto thought he was going to back off. His brow furrowed as his looked at Makoto.

They were grappling in the next moment as Soususke tried to pin Makoto to the wall again and for the first time Makoto fought him off.

In the tussle, Makoto flung himself away from Sousuke, stumbling into the middle of the room, and thankfully several feet from Sousuke. They both breathed heavy, and watched each other, as Makoto straightened.

Makoto shook his head, "this won't help," Makoto said.

Sousuke looked a bit taken back, "has it ever?" He asked so matter-of-factly.

"No," Makoto answered, shaking his head. "We don't even like each other all that much."

Sousuke snorted. "That matters because?"

Makoto took another step back, hiding behind the vertical bar of their bed. "Because I want it to. I don't want something like this to be meaningless."

Cocking his head, Sousuke gave Makoto a particular look. "Does it feel meaningless to you?" He snorted. "It sure as hell hasn't felt meaningless on my end." He was growling in a low voice again, no doubt Makoto was probably pissing him off more.

Makoto pressed his lips together as he considered what Sousuke was saying. "We're substituting-"

"Because you look so much like the love of my life."

"I mean it!" Makoto spoke up. "I-I know something's off with you, and it's been getting worse and I haven't pried, because it is none of my business, but I know what ever it is, you feel out of control. This isn't going to give any of it back."

Sousuke looked at him this time, in the eye, across the room. "And can you really tell me you're not hurting?"

"That's not my point," Maktoto said a bit taken back. "Filling holes with something that's equally has the potential to hurt doesn't solve either of our problems."

"Right," Sousuke said as he took a step forward, and into Makoto's personal space, he rested an arm on the top bunk and spoke, looming over Makoto. "And what we do is hurtful?"

Makoto looked down away from those teal eyes. What was he supposed to say? Yeah, we are screwing each other into a death match? That jerking each other around on a leash that felt shorter and shorter all the time was a really healthy way to go about fixing their lives? He shook his head. "I don't know. But it doesn't feel-" he wasn't even sure.

"Like soft kisses and tender whisperings?" Sousuke hissed.

Makoto looked away to the floor. Sousuke was mocking him now, great. "I'm just not sure sometimes if we are a good idea."

Sousuke sighed. "You told me you weren't here to pull others under the current with you, and maybe you really mean that, but today-you almost drug the entire team right off that cliff you keep trying to hurl yourself off of."

There was no way Makoto could get himself to meet Sousuke's eyes this time. "I know. I-"

"You're sorry." Sousuke growled. He was close to Makoto again, though Makoto couldn't pinpoint when that had become the case. "I know, you've told me several times before."

"I don't know what else you want me to say." Makoto said. He could feel Sousuke's breath against his skin again. He closed his eyes, almost wanting to lean into it. His smell was-warm and heavy, it was the smell of the pool and of the tall pines outside. It was distinct and Makoto could barely think around the idea of being able to sink into it, feel Sousuke grinding into him, clutching at Makoto's skin, growling in his deep voice, vibrating through his chest as he made Makoto feel like he was just him, in just that moment and blissful enough that he could just float away.

"I want you to finally take off that stupid smile," Sousuke startled Makoto out of his daydream as he bit down on Makoto's ear, growling the words in his ear.

Makoto hissed, and pushed Sousuke away. It was a harder shove than Makoto expected and he looked over at Sousuke to make sure he caught himself.

"There ya go," Sousuke said, sounding way too self satisfied. "We both know I've seen past that silly expression of yours. You're not happy, you're not okay with everything and you feel like you're being shredded apart from the inside. Hiding it by pretending you can breath water clearly hasn't helped, letting me toss you around you say doesn't help, so how about showing a bit of emotion."

Makoto let out a breath, not realizing he'd been holding it until then. "I don't have anything I need to-"

"Stop feeding me bull shit."

Makoto pressed his lips together again, wishing he didn't feel suddenly so cold, and so empty.

"Come on, Tachibana, let's make this meaningful." Sousuke growled. "You let me shove you into what ever I like for a reason now why don't you let a bit of that out for once."

Folding his arms over his middle, Makoto turned to the side, away from Sousuke. "Trust me, I'm pretty sure there isn't anything you haven't dug out of me."

"Hit me." Sousuke growled at him.

Makoto looked at him. His brow furrowed as he shook his head. "No."

"I pushed you onto your knees and made you suck my dick." Sousuke said as he took a step closer. "I snarl at you every couple of minutes. I practically stalk you. I tell you what to do constantly. I'm the worst roommate you'll ever have. That doesn't make you a bit mad, Tachibana?"

Makoto's brow furrowed downward this time. His eyes scanned over Sousuke hoping for once he could suss out what Sousuke wanted from him. "How would hitting you make any of that better?"

"You're right," Sousuke cocked his chagrin smile. "It would probably just make it all worse."

"Baiting me isn't going to make any of this better," Makoto sighed. He looked to the floor. "Would you just quit for once? Let something be?"

Sousuke expression dropped into something Makoto wasn't sure he wanted to recognize. "You're right I should just let it lie, leave you to deal with it all on your own, because that's working out great. How's the swimming coming? Drown yourself yet?"

"Shut up," Makoto snarled back for the first time. He looked up at Sousuke and frowned, breathing heavy through his nose. Watching those teal eyes, Makoto knew if he kept up this argument with Sousuke, it would go all night. He didn't relent, that was just exactly who Sousuke was.

"Fine, " Makoto growled as he hurled himself at Sousuke. He hit into him so hard Sousuke stumbled a step back, having to reach for the bed to keep balanced. "Have what you want," Makoto cursed as he sealed his lips over Sousuke's.

He didn't give Sousuke much time to react as his hands started down at his jeans. Lifting Sousuke's shirt, Makoto slid his hands under and and clawed his nails into Sousuke's skin, drawing down the V of his abdomen to his belt buckle.

Sousuke let out a hiss, breaking their kiss. His hand was clutching up at Makoto's face, but as Makoto started to yank at the belt to get it free his grip changed, his hand palming over Makoto's throat, flexing his grip like a threat. In answer, Makoto finally got enough leverage to jam a hand down Sousuke's pants, tugging Sousuke's dick into filling in his hand.

Sousuke attacked Makoto's lips again, growling as he bit and licked and bruised Makoto's lips into compliance into thekiss.

They breathed hard into each other's mouth, cursing under their breathes as they tore at each other. Makoto pulled at Sousuke's shirt again, insistent on getting it off as he gave Sousuke a shove. Sousuke tackled him to the floor in exchange and they grappled again. The tangle of limps settled as Sousuke rolled on his back, carrying Makoto to seat himself over Sousuke's hips.

He gripped over Makoto's throat again pulling him into a kiss.

Makoto let out a hiss as Sousuke bit down on his bottom lip.

"Feel that Tachibana?" Sosuske said as he sucked and licked at the lip.

Makoto tasted blood and dug his nails into Sousuke's cock still in his hand.

Sousuek let out a yowl, and jerked Makoto's hand out of his jeans. He fisted a hand in Makoto's fringe and yanked his head back as Makoto's hand fumbled its way to Sousuke's throat in return.

Sousuke let out a snort as he lifted his head up and took Makoto's lip between his teeth again and bit down. Makoto squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a hiss again, feeling the blood trailing from his lip.

Letting the bottom lip drop out of his mouth, Sousuke was speaking again. "How does really hurting like that feel?" He licked up at Makoto's abraised lip, suckling at the deep cut. His fisted hands grip loosened and Makoto let his head drop to Sousuke's shoulder.

He smeared the blood from his lip against Sousuke's neck, his hand around Sousuke's throat shifting to grip up and around his head, Right under Soususke's ear.

"Please stop say those things," Makoto whispered. He closed his eyes as his free hand gripped down Sousuke's chest to his loosened waist band again.

Sousuke own hands were framing Makoto's hips, gripping to his back and tracing down to start tugging Makoto's boxers down. His broad hands, ran over Makoto's ass, squeezing just enough as he directed Makoto's hips to curl in and down.

"Am I still meaningless to you?" Sousuke hissed as he moved in against Makoto's ear. He dug his nails into Makoto's skin then, slamming his hips down again into Sosuskes groin.

"You know I never meant it like that." Makoto said into Sousuke's neck.

Sousuke just hummed, yanking Makoto's boxers down farther, enough Sousuke could grind his cock up and against bare skin, but not enough so that Makoto would have to move to take them off completely.

"Lube?" Sousuke groaned in Makoto's ear. "Or would you prefer I just tear into you bare?"

Makoto clawed at Sousuke's neck, burying his face further. It didn't feel like he was drifting this time, he wasn't allowed to disconnect it seemed this time around. Instead Sousuke was reeling him closer. There was plenty of room on the floor but they curled into each other and fought to get closer, to break skin and bleed together and into each other.

Sousuke's hand grappled up into the side of their desks, opening drawers and pulling out what ever he found. He finally pulled out a tube of lotion and growled into Makoto's jaw line. He bit against the skin there, tugging lightly but not really inflicting pain this time.

Makoto could hear as Sousuke ran a slick hand over his cock before his hips jutted upwards and Makoto was gasping into Sousuke's collar bone. Makoto's hand fisted in Sousuke's hair, his other hand clutching at the carpet. It was a real difference from the times before when Souske had spent most of their foreplay with his fingers knuckles deep inside Makoto. Regardless, Sousuke didn't stop till he was all the way in and Makoto was breathing hard against him.

One of Sosuske's hands found its way between them, palming Makoto through his boxers. Makoto's groaned, his teeth gnashing against Sousuke's collar bone.

"Bite me," Sousuke said, his mouth somewhere buried in Makoto's hair. "I hurt you, hurt me back."

He would have refused, if Makoto had been himself and if they had been some normal couple that cared about each other and kissed and cooed sweet words and if Makoto didn't feel like there was nothing left to his insides, like they were bare and raw and bleeding.

Sousuke pulled his hips back, slamming back up into Makoto and Makoto let out a yowl as he clamped his mouth down on Sousuke's neck, making Sousuke gasp for breath. Sousuke started to roll his hips, his head resting back on the carpet as he took a deep breath.

"Yeah come on, Makoto, fight back a little." Sousuke said a bit breathless as his hands found Makoto's hips and he pumped in and out.

Makoto groaned, releasing Sosuke neck as he pushed himself up on shaking arms. He shifted back into the motion, his forehead resting on Sousuke's sternum. He could feel his lip still bleeding. He could also feel Sousuke's cock thrusting into him, filling him and Makoto wasn't sure he could breath evenly. He pushed up all the way.

Teal eyes caught his own gaze, and Sousuke's hand found Makoto's placing them at Sousuke's chest before they went back to running up Makoto's sides and squeezing his thighs and palming Makoto's erection in intervals.

Makoto balanced, sitting back, he shoved his hips all the way down on Sousuke's cock. At the same time, clawing his hands over Sousuke's chest, digging the nails of one hand over a nipple.

Sousuke groaned and thrust his hips up insistent, his head thrown back and eyes wide open as he watched Makoto over him. His hands came up, suddenly yanking Makoto's T-shirt up over his head and tossed it to the floor.

Makoto let a whimper quiver past his swollen bottom lip as he started to move, humping back against Sousuke's legs and farther down on his dick and then rolling his hips up and forward, threading his cock through Soususke's fisted hand. Sousuke just watched as with ever roll of Makoto's hips he fucked himself as well as stroked him self off with just a bit of Sousuke's help.

Sousuke couldn't last long passive like that though it seemed as Makoto felt him shifting under him. Makoto's own head was thrown back, his throat feeling dry as he tried to keep breathing and moving on Sousuke's cock. Sosuke hand threaded through his hair as the first sign as he was jerked back down and his mouth was crashed into Sousuke's.

Maktot let out a yelp as he found how painful kissing was. He closed his eyes then, supporting himself on his elbow and Souskue slammed up into him, impaling him and growling into his mouth. Feral and incarnate they humped and ground into each other hard, ridding out what ever issues they could manage.

Finally their peak couldn't be put off anymore as Makoto tore his mouth away in a yell as white hot rush poured through him. He shook and gasped and tried to keep steady as Sousuke slammed into him, egging on his orgasm.

With a whimper, Makoto finally dropped his head, falling against Sousuke's neck and limbs failing. Soususke didn't stop though his hands clutching at Makoto's skin as he pumped up into him.

Makoto groaned, his mouth open and smearing fresh blood over Sousuke's shoulder as he whined. He felt too sensitive and too worn to keep going. His hand pulled at Sousuke's hair, nosing into Sousuke's neck. He cracked his eyes open just as Sousuke let out a growling groan his back arching off the carpet and spearing himself into Makoto.

Makoto was a bit surprised as he felt it inside as well, swallowing as he watched Sousuke climax under him as well as aware of the wet fluid spilling inside of him.

Sousuke's chest heaved as he came back down. A hand dropped to Makoto's back, tender this time as he traced between Makoto's shoulder blades.

For a few minutes they just lay there catching their breath. Maktoto slid off of Sousuke, but their legs tangled and ended up pulling them both on their sides.

Sousuke pressed his forehead to Makoto's, his eyes hooded but still open as he asked. "Is this still meaningless?"

Makoto's eyes shifted to look at Sousuke. He felt so tangled up in him that they might bleed if pried apart. "No," he said quietly looking away.

Put line here

Makoto woke facing the wall again. He wasn't sure when exactly they had transitioned from the floor to Sousuke's bed but it had more than likely happened when they started falling asleep on the floor, breathing in the same air, Makoto was pretty sure they hadn't separated much. They hadn't really talked afterwards but they didn't move away either.

It was also becoming clear that the two of them had entirely different sleeping habits. Makoto always slept on his side, usually facing the wall, slightly curled. He didn't take up much of the bed despite his size. It was probably a good thing since Sousuke always seemed to take up as much of the bed as humanly possible. He slept on his back or stomach, splayed out over the mattress, sometimes a foot or hand hanging over the side. He didn't like covers, usually just a sheet bunched at his waist, which was nice since Makoto pulled the duvet almost up to his chin most nights.

It was an odd fit, yet it still seemed to work.

Sousuke sighed in his sleep and Makoto shifted to find Sousuke's face against the back of his neck and shoulder. He was on his stomach, an arm lazily resting under the covers across Makoto's waist.

Makoto shifted again, hoping he wouldn't wake Sousuke, but not so sure he was going to get out of bed otherwise.

With a deep inhale of breath, Sousuke's head lifted and he blinked down at Makoto.

"Uh-hey," Makoto ended up saying.

Sousuke gave a deep hum in acknowledgement before shifting on his side he pulled Makoto back into him. It was a sleepy, lazy motion.

It was a few minutes for Sousuke to wake up before he moved at all again, finally pulling away to shift up on to his elbows and observe their room. Their cloths were strewn across the floor, they'd managed to knock a few things off both of their desks in the tussle, Sousuke's things were still where he had dropped them near the closet.

Makoto shifted on to his back, still very aware of the lack of space between him and Sousuke. Not that the bed was really big enough. There wasn't much hope to do anything but touch with how broad the two of them were at the shoulders.

Sousuke noticed, looking down at Makoto. He didn't smile, that somehow seemed not right for the feeling between them. But he leaned down, and opened his mouth to claim a kiss from Makoto's lips.

For which, Makoto immediately groaned. "Mnnhhhh."

Sousuke pulled back, reassessing the damage of Makoto's lower lip.

"How bad is it?" Makoto asked, half joking, and unfortunately half very serious. Explaining this was going to suck and even worse Makoto wasn't looking forward to how chlorine would feel on it.

"Well the domestic abuse charges should hold up." Sousuke shrugged. He wasn't smiling still and Makoto wasn't sure if he was irate with what had happened last night or worried-probably both.

Makoto let out a small laugh. He looked over at Sousuke and wondered out loud. "I thought you said you didn't like blood." Looking at Sousuke's shoulder it seemed that the evidence of Makoto's injury was still smeared on his skin, dry and dark, but still there.

"I thought you weren't going to let me leave marks." Sousuke said in return. He was looking away as he said it. But as he finished he looked down at Makoto and lifted a hand and gently let his thumb brush against Makoto's swollen lip, his other fingers caressing down Makoto's cheek. "I've certainly left something to remember me by."

It seemed-out of character now to say something like that and Makoto cocked his head. "What-what are we Sousuke?"

Instead of answer, Sousuke looked away again, pulling his hand away as he looked back up to the window. He armed a pillow under his head and gazed at the sunlight filtering in through their blinds.

It wasn't like. Makoto could say he knew either. He sighed back, looking to the top bunk as he let his head rest against Sousuke's arm. Maybe there wasn't a clear answer yet. Or maybe there was a clear answer and neither of them wanted to see it.

"Should we talk about-what happened last night?" He asked, unsure if he should even keep talking.

Sousuke didn't quite seem all there next to him.

"I'm not sorry." Sousuke suddenly gruffed. "I mean I-I don't want-I don't know what I was thinking last night. I wanted you-present."

Makoto sucked in a breath, looking up at Sousuke as best he could from the odd angle. "It's fine. It was entirely consensual."

"You told me, no."

"And then I told you yes." Makoto countered. "I hurt you too." Makoto reached up to trace the dark bruised bite mark on Sousuke's neck. "I don't want to do it again." Makoto admitted. "But we were equally in it last night."

"I think-" Makoto started looking down at his hands holding the covers over his bare chest. "We both had things to hurt over last night and you were right-I needed to stay present. I did. I can't say I feel better this morning. But I don't feel like I ran away or that I hid anything last night."

Sousuke still hadn't looked down at him, and didn't seem like he was going to. Makoto closed his eyes, sighing. He was surprised when he felt Sousuke shift next to him, coming up on his side he directed Makoto back on his side as he pulled him in at the same time, tucking an arm around Makoto's middle.

"I really want you to say something," Makoto said, letting Sousuke have what he wanted as he turned on his side, feeling Sousuke's breath at the back of his neck.

He wasn't given an answer for several seconds and almost thought he wasn't going to get one at all until Sousuke leaned his head down and kissed the peak of Makoto's shoulder.

"Mine," he said just loud enough Makoto caught it before tucking his head in and against Makoto's neck Sousuke let out a breath, eyes closed again.

Makoto wasn't sure if that meant things were getting worse or better between them.

Put line here

It wasn't until they were leaving practice later that day that Makoto noticed Sousuke finally shifting out of his funk.

They had spun some story about going jogging and Makoto tripped, landing with a cut lip. Sousuke had spent practice with his jacket on, hiding the long red marks Makoto had managed to leave on his chest, as well as the bruised biting on his shoulder.

Makoto could feel Sousuke next to him as he opened their door to the room. He'd been quiet most of the day. Not that they had done much. Most of the morning had been spent in bed before Sousuke had finally been convinced that Makoto was at least hungry. He had pulled Makoto back on the bed when Makoto had started doing homework. As far as Makoto could tell Sousuke spent the rest of the after noon till practice with his nose in a book.

As Makoto entered the room, he looked over the mess the two of them had been ignoring. Sousuke had already sat down on his bed, looking distant and stoney as he had been all morning.

When Makoto started pulling off his jacket at the closet he finally heard Sousuke speak.

"My first priority here is Rin." His voice was that low baritone it always was, but he didn't growl it.

Makoto hung the jacket up. "I know." If it had all been different he would say the same about Haru. It wasn't though and he was alone here now.

"I won't let you get in the way of that."

When Makoto turned he saw Sousuke staring at him. "I-" Makoto wasn't sure what to say. They hadn't really worked through what had happened at prefecturals so a part of him had guessed this was coming, but he wasn't sure what to say now that it was coming to a head. "I understand." Makoto ended up saying.

Sousuke kept eye contact with him. "If I don't think you really are in this, I will tell Rin not to put you on the relay for regionals."

Makoto sighed. "That's completely fair."

Sousuke nodded and turned his head away.

"Why did you swim the relay?" Makoto asked, surprised he'd wanted to know for a while, it didn't seem like Sousuke.

Sousuke sighed. "I wanted to see it, what ever the hell it was Rin and all you other's keep going off about."

Makoto pulled on at shirt he'd be fine falling asleep in and went to his desk, pulling out his laptop. "Did you?"

He turned just as Sousuke looked up at him. His hands were pressed palm to palm, his finger at his mouth. "I don't know."

Sitting back on the desk top Makoto nodded as he looked down at the laptop he had under his arm, resting on his leg.

"It means everything to Rin though. " Sousuke said as he stood, stepping closer to impose his size over Makoto. "And Rin is important to me. I won't let what ever we got started mess up anything for him."

"I know." Makoto said, looking up at Sousuke. "I would never let you get in Haru's way."

"You're still that loyal to him?" Sousuke asked.

Makoto looked up at Sousuke, not smiling as his brow lowered. "Haru is my best friend. I left him, not the other way around. I would go to the ends of the earth for him."

"The feeling clearly isn't returned." Sousuke said rather straightforward.

Makoto cocked his head. This was turning strangely personal and biting. "It doesn't matter." He looked at Sousuke a bit more confused. "Why does it matter to you? I'm pretty sure you and I aren't a couple."

Sousuke hummed, his eyes roamed over Makoto's face, landing at Makoto's swollen cut lip. He lifted his hand, his thumb just barely grazing over Makoto's affronted lip. "Maybe because I'm pretty sure I'll be the one left to piece you back together."

"If we are still in this room together." Makoto amended.

"What?" Sousuke asked, his hand on Makoto's face pausing.

He seemed sincerely surprised, Makoto concluded as he watched Sousuke's face. "Empty promises right now, won't help either of us." Makoto said. "Once we aren't packed together like this, will you really care about what happens with me?"

Sousuke didn't answer, seeming to be really not sure what his answer would be as his hand dropped back to his side.

Makoto didn't have it in him to leave it there and he reached up, barely touching Sousuke's cheek as he leaned up. With a grimace he pressed a small kiss to Sousuke's lips before leaning away to speak. "Rin comes first. I completely understand, and it's fine. I never expected anything different."

Turning away then Makoto set his laptop on his bed, turning again to find the textbook that had his homework in.

"You really mean that?. Sousuke asked behind him. "You never thought there-this is what you expected?"

Makoto didn't turn, looking down at the textbook in his hands. He wasn't sure he could turn. "I spent my entire life living next to the boy I'm pretty sure I'm in love with. It's not like I didn't try. You don't think I fought, but I did. I did everything I could think of. But I still lost." He snapped the textbook shut. "Rin has always come first. Why would I expect anything different at this point?"

The hollowness was suddenly clawing at Makoto's throat. He wasn't quite sure when he started letting Sousuke have every drop of honesty that Makoto could offer, but it was quickly digging a grave Makoto wasn't sure he could pull himself out of.

He didn't feel like he could move confidently as he looked down at his desk.

"Right," Sousuke said in a quiet voice behind him.

Makoto could feel the realness of his own words hitting through him. He could feel his eyes watering. It all seemed to crumble so fast. He thought he was getting better until he realized he wasn't.

He could hear Sousuke shift behind him, probably not even watching Makoto any longer.

This really wasn't helping them. Makoto wasn't sure Sousuke had been entirely full of crap. What would happen when he wasn't there to pull Makoto back from the brink? And what the hell was Makoto thinking refreshing everything Sousuke ever felt for Rin. He wasn't just refreshing it, he was pouring salt on the wound, every time. It wasn't healthy for either of them.

Makoto sighed, scrubbing his hands across his face. Trying to wipe any trace from his face as well as hide just another moment from his roommate.

He snatched up the text book and turned to pull himself up on his bed, when Sousuke was there again. A bit too soon Makoto observed reddening. Sousuke pushed Makoto down on his bed before handing him his laptop.

"We'll end up down there eventually anyway," he mumbled. As he went to his own desk and dug out his homework.

When he sat on the bed, Sousuke gave Makoto plenty of space, laying at the end of the bed, away from Makoto against the wall at the head.

Not sure what to say, Makoto just looked down at his homework as he opened his laptop and tried not to think about how Sousuke's feet touched his at the other side of the bed.

Chapter end.

Soundtrack: Mess is mine, Vance Joy


End file.
